I'm feeling like Hritik Roshan from lakshay movie, one day I want to be that other day I want something else. Fuckkkkk what is my lakshay idk man!!!??? Me aisa kyun hu! Me aisa kyu hu?!!!

3am Thoughts

Y 13 year old relationship advice kaise de sakte hum 23 k hoke samjh nhi aata kuch ki kya bolna chaiye kya nhi 
Agree or not ?

Mujhe waha b block kar deya jaha maine subscribe b nahi keya tha.

Who says it flirting and not "hain jo iraade batadu tumko, Sharma hi jaogi tum" 😍😉

Crush

Yeh depression Joh neet ke mock tests ke baad Ata haina, inse nikalna bohot mushkil hai. Bohot.

Sometimes I end up feeling anxious and then I end up thinking about you and what we had once upon a time. You were like home. You felt like home to this awkward boy who even today struggles to be around women. You gave me love when we were in love and today my anxiety issues are your post-breakup gift for me. Main itna bura tha kya?? Pyaar aur nehi hai. But I just wish I could get answers to my questions. Yeh sawal bohot satate hai. Tum bohot achhi thi, you deserved better. I am just sad that I wasn't the one. Take care.

Breakup



Dear Anonymous,
Aaj phirse mai bhot hi akela feel kar rahi hu. Phirse aisa lag raha hai jaise mai apni ke saare close logo ko kho rahi hu. And that feeling is so so scary. Iss akele pan ke vajh se mera kuch bhi karne ka mann nahi kar raha, kisi se bhi baat karne ka mann nahi kar raha, even kisi bhi chiz me focus nahi ho raha 😭😭. Abhi neha se baat kar rahi thi toh usse baat karne ko hi nahi mil raha tha usse ab vo pehle jaisi friendship hi nahi rahi. Maine dheere dheere karke apni life se sabko jaate hue dekh rahi hu. 
Dear Anonymous please btao ki mere saath humesha aisa kyu hota hai mai life me jisko bhi itna chahti hu vo humesha durr kyu chale jaate hai? Kya mai achi insaan nahi hu kya? Kya mai bhot hi boring insaan hu kya? I feel these things most of the time. I feel like I'm a very ugliest person jiske saath koi nahi rahena chahta😭😭. Why???? 
Mere saath humesha aisa kyu hota hai ki har koi kuch time ke baad mujhse bhot durr ho jaata hai? Maine bhot baar apni life me notice kiya hai maine apni jisko bhi apna friend bnaya hai vo sirf chote time tak hi saath raha hai uske baad ptani kyu baat hona vo friendship sab khatam ho jaati hai. Mujhe bhot darr lagta hai ab logo se friendship karne me ki kahi vo bhi durr na chale jaaye. 
Dear Anonymous tumhe pta hai mai jab depression me thi na pehle uske peeche ek reason akelapan tha. Maine har baar apni life me akela feel kiya hai. Logo ko khud se bhot durr jaate hue dekha hai. I know ki humesha aapke saath koi bhi nahi rahe sakta hai I know, but mera dil jo hai vo ye baat maanta hi nahi hai, maine bhot baar try kiya hai ki mujhe logo se attachment na rakhu, apne aapse pyaar karu apne ke zada kareeb rahu but vo chiz kabhi ho hi nahi paati hai. I mean khud ke kareeb bhi mai kuch waqt ke liye hi rahe paati hu uske baad phirse vohi akela pan shuru ho jaata hai jo mujhe bhot hi under hi under khaata raheta hai. Mann karta kisi se sab share karne ka but kisse karu ye smjh me nahi aata. Jinse mai dil khol kar baat share kar paati thi vo log bhi ab dheere dheere durr ho rahe hai. 
Or kuch logo se mai khud hi duri bna kar rakhna chah rahi hu vo iss vajh se jisse vo log bhi mujhse durr na ho jaaye. 
Dear Anonymous tumhe pta hai mai aisi insaan nahi jisko mai apne pass zabardasti rok ke rakhu kyuki mujhe pta hai ki jab koi aapko kisi bandhan me zabardasti baandh ke rakhna chahta ho toh kaisa feel hota hai. I know that feeling very well. Toh mai aisa kabhi nahi karti har kisi ko uski space deke rakhti hu. But phir bhi vo insaan mujhse durr ho jaata hai. 

Lonely

Mene kuch anjane me bahut badi galtiyaan kar di. Jo morally sahi nahi thi. Uske liye mene apne dearone se kai bar mafi mangi unhone ek bar me maad bhi kar diya. But me jitni baar bhi mafi mangti kuch na kuch thoughts man me aane lagte jese ye colour dekh liya , ya desires aate h jabke agar ap mafi mang rahe ho to ap dil se mange us waqt dimag me kuch nahi ana chaiye. Mene fir finally jis din mafi mangi uske baad hota h na ke badi galtiyaan ki h to ab ekdam se normal baat mat karna chup raho. Me normal ho gae mene dearones se bola chalo gate ke bahar night walk pe chalte h unhone kaha nahi abhi nahi mene ek do bola esa fir mene us chiz ki bhi mafi mangi ke mene normal behave kyu kiya. Fir me irritate ho gaye wo sun nahe rahe the kyunki koi bhi apki apology baar baar sun ke bore ho jaega. To mene irritate hoke bola 'suno na' uski bhi mafi mangi , aur me mobile dekhne lag gaye. Mene mafi mangne se pehle khud se ye promise kiya tha ke mujhe kisi non-edible chiz ka addiction tha wo ab me nhi khaunge na dekhna na touch. But uska daily life me use h me ignore nahi kr skti ye bhi man me chalta h mere.  Mene last bar mafi mangne se pehle mobile bhi nahi chalaya jo aj ki date me kitna important h , tv nahi dekha , gane nahi sune , kisi dost se bt nahi ki meri kya halat ho gai hogi socho fir mene mafi mangi 'suno na' irritate hoke bol gai mafi bhi mangi or mobile dekhne lage. But meri halat bahut kharab h. me mafi bhi ni mang skti abhi kyunki agar me mafi mangungi to mujhe bahut time ho jaega. Meri body thak jaegi. Meri health bhi gir gai h. Me weak ho gai hu khana ache se nahi khati. Mujhe dr psychologist , meditation ki salah abhi mat dena me dr. Ko dikha diya psychologist se bhi session liye but har baar ek hi baat uske fee pay karni padti h. me kya karu ap meri jagah hote to kya karte mujhe bataiye i really need help. Me bahut jyada pareshan hu. Me kuch kam bhi nahi kar pate ache se.

Kuch yaadein hain jo abb bhi bhoolni baaki hai,
Kuch log hain jinhe apni zindagi se toh nikaal diya par dimaag se nikaalna abb bhi baaki hai
Kaash..kuch aise pal bhi aayein zindagi me...jahan mai apni yaadasht bhool jaaun aur sirf yaad rahe woh bachpan jahan mujhe logo se lagav nhi hua krta tha...

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts