I’m feeling guilty, yet relived. I want to end living, but I have hope for future.
I am 18 and I had an abortion last month which has taken a toll on me. It was a decision made by my boyfriend and me after finding out about it. I was hesitant to take this decision but if the baby was born, we’d provide it a bad life because we aren’t financially independent and our families would not support us.
He continued to be by my side, heard me out throughout the process but once it was over, he tells me to not talk about it. It probably gives him the same feeling of guilt as I’m facing, but while he is dealing with it well alone, I can’t. I am not able to accept and live on. I killed my potential child and it is eating me up. I have not confided in to anyone except here.
I know I have done wrong but I also know it was better than being a very bad parent.
I am just very confused about what is right and validated to feel and what is not. Last week, I blames my boyfriend that he forced the decision upon me but realised how wrong it was. I am messing everything up. 😶
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