Im 20 and still don't no how to drive, I wanna learn but no 1 is willing to teach me to drive a 2 wheeler, everyone is interested in 4 wheelers. Thy just keep asking "how come your family doesn't have a 2 wheeler" and stuff I'm just fed up of answering. Yaa my family doesn't own a vehicle nor do anyone know to drive, but I wanna do it ,how difficult it is to teach some one like me😑. Even I asked my friends due to covid no 1 is willing. 

Stress

Feeling like a fucking burden on my family. At my age 23, people are involved in making their careers, their families supporting them, me? Going everyday to work, with a smile, learning with all my heart and coming back to sleep crying,  my patriarchal family wants me to get married to someone i dont know. Not belonging to my field, nothing, Didnt even want to know what is going on with me. I love someone else, a lot. We want to spent our lives together!!!! We are both focusing on our careers, his family loves me. Mine does'nt even care. Not my career, not my heart, nothing. I feel trapped. I feel this isn't my home cos its so toxic, i feel like going somewhere. I pray to the lord to heal me, to protect me, to bless my love. It is heartbreaking to learn this. I am just a burden to them.

Family

City of Nawabs is best place 

Friends

So I'm  the only child in the family and my dad passed away 2 yr ago. Been daddy's  little girl all my life, and now all of a sudden my only pillar of support is no more. Now my mom is sick and has to undergo a surgery. She has suffered a lot being a cancer survivor.  Its really tough to do everything alone. I really need a shoulder to lean on

Cancer

Its so frustrating to see my guy flirt with his girl best friend and all the answer in return i get is "she is just my  friend"... on insta comments they flirt as if they r couples.. which really gets on my nerves... do ull think its just overthing or what should i do.. coz i have told this to my guy many times about it

Relationships

I chose you because you were different, your way of talking was different. I didn't knew that you were so different that you didn't even gave me attention like others did 😶

3am Thoughts

Hellu :)
First I wanna say that I am not seeking for attention or pity. I just feel like that for years now and figured that maybe some people in this world feel the same and are hopeless, because from my personal experience I’ve never met another person that felt the way I did. 
And the second thing I wanna mention is that I will talk about self harm, suicidal thoughts, self hate, ect. Please don’t continue reading, if u get triggered by these topics! 
I hope u enjoy reading:)

10/05/21

I am addicted to my sadness. I feel like I‘m feeling nothing but so much at the same time. I just want to disappear. Die in an accident, not caused by me. Like a car accident. 
I was depressed for years now and it‘s beginning to vanish. I want it to stay. What am I without it? Who will I be and who am I anyways? 
I hate these basic thoughts. I just want to die, please. I hate myself. I don‘t want to be happy. Society always tells u to "Love yourself, no matter what." all the time. It’s supposed to help us, to help me. Make us feel less worthless. They are trying to help me but it makes me hate myself even more, because I hate them say this. I am criticizing these wonderful people who just wanted to make my life easier, even tho they have better things to do. Why am I like that? 
Other people have it harder than me. My friends for example. 
but I just want to be depressed. I don’t want to be happy. I want to die. 
I feel like Im just acting to be depressed, lying to myself that I have symptoms. But I actually have them. I’ve had depression for the last 3 years now. I can’t trust myself anymore. I never could. 
I want to cry but I can’t. I want to harm myself again but I can’t. I want to die but I can’t. 
I don’t want my family and friends to worry about me, even tho I’m not sure if they would. Maybe they are shocked at the beginning, but in the end they wouldn’t care. I mean, why would they care?

I feel so stupid, so ignorant. But don’t I have to be clever to have these kind of thoughts? I can’t do maths. I‘m avoiding my friends. I hate my friends. I want to make them jealous. I don’t deserve them. 

I hate myself. I want to disappear. I’m scared of being reborn. I want to never be born again. I wish I was never born. I hate this world. I hate myself so much, it makes me numb. I love it. I want more of this empty feeling. 
I want to be special but not being seen. I want to die. Please. I hope it’s all an illusion. That I am never born. Why did I have to be born? Why? I hate this feeling of being alive. I wish, I would’ve never existed. I want to die. 
Why am I in this world?

Thank u so much for reading all this. It means so much to me. 
And again, I am not expecting any answers or anything like that. If u want to reply, that’s great but don’t feel forced. :) I just hope that I could help anyone feeling less alone and less miss understood. Have a good day everyone. Take care of urself <3 (Im kind if scared to post thisss welp-)

Depression

Not everyone deserves the new you. You've healed too much not to raise the bar on who can touch your body and access your energy.

Adulting

Don't trust people who don't trust themselves! 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts