I will hide myself. I will hide me from the world. I will be ignorant and silent towards the world. I will not share my emotions and feelings. I will keep it to myself. I will be silent from now on. I will feel everything inside and not let anyone see my tears and my pains. I will do my job and carry responsibilities, do the chores like a robot. Being me has costed me a lot of pain. Unbearable pain. Pain which no one wants to know about or wants to talk about. It has diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I used to be a strong person, very motivated, very energetic, person with big dreams but I am weighed down now. I have no energy, no motivation, no dare to dream. I fear most of the time. I fear of the pain. I fear I will loose it all. I fear I will forget everything and I will wander like a homeless person.
For the sake of not becoming a memoryless homeless person, I must silent myself towards the world. I must keep it to myself. I must keep working on keeping my sanity.
What if it doesn’t work too? Then what is the solution? Is there any solution?
Im so sorry youve had to go through so much pain. But keeping in all inside will not help, itll eat you on the inside. The right people will never pull you down. Theyll stand beside you in the worst of storms. And youre still strong, stronger than before. Its just that youre in so much pain that you dont realize it rn but youre so very strong.
And Im all ears if you wanna talk, anytime. Not just today, but any day.
Thank you for your kind words. may be it’s one of the worst days… I thought I have those people in my life who would be there for me but I see that they are there for I have been good to them or did something for them. They aren’t there for me. Also they think I am crazy… they know I am diagnosed with mental illness of depression…
I want to believe that I am still strong but I don’t have any determination left. I don’t feel lively. I see a need to make big change in life and I really don’t know where to start… to save myself from going completely insane
I can understand. Sometimes, we expect more than what people have to offer and thats a very human thing to do. But its absolutely ok. Youre not crazy. If they dont understand something like mental health then theyre not worth your time.
I know it seems difficult to believe but trust me, youre stronger than you’ve ever been. Youre so strong. And its ok. Im doing this 10day challenge on whatsapp. Do you wanna join in? Maybe that can be your starting point.
Its a 10 day feel good challenge. Theyll give one task for each day, starting tomorrow.
