I was very happy for the last few days. Super happy. I was alone. I went to work as usual. I texted a few friends.
But today I went to a friend’s party. I have known each person at the party for years. But I felt terribly alone. I spoke to people for maybe 15 mins, smiling, talking and making jokes.
And then I sat, then everyone started talking in small groups of 3-5 people. I couldn’t join any of them, and no one noticed that i was sitting alone just staring at nothing. Even my best friends were there, but I was lonely. I was very anxious. And bored. Couldn’t even fake a smile. I was serious.
As an introvert (i think I have social anxiety) I usually avoid parties and group dinners for the same reason and i prefer meeting people if the group is very small. 3 people including me is comfortable for me.
But sometimes i get stuck at such parties as people are my close friends and it would be rude to decline an invite. And i feel very down, being at the party and after coming back, i question myself. What’s wrong with me. Why can’t I just socialize like everyone else. The depression that follows after a social situation stays for weeks and can’t describe how terrible it is.
Does anyone face the same problem? How can I tackle it?
Yeah. And the difficult part is no one understands us. Many just think we r shy, ignorant or arrogant.
