I was doing fine and I suppose I still am but I just past a milestone with my dad being gone now for 5 years. What more is I’m approaching another birthday. I’m middle age and the last one to carry on the family name. Worse is over the years I’ve been numb to loss having to deal with other issues (including also losing my mom and a break up) now that everything is in the past and see how little I’ve gained and how much time, money and effort wasted at building a life I feel a whole host of emotions like regrett, loss, frustration and lonliness. I never expected to be hear a few years shy of turning 50. My only saving grace right now is that I have a firm foundation with God, eventhough, I keep searching in vein for a church in my area that I actually feel at peace in.