I wanted to get admission into a good college but I couldn't due to some circumstances despite getting good grades and now I am going into depression.

It's a local college and I am pursuing bba just a year left but still I can't come out of depression 
I feel like I ll lag behind 

But u know what I live in Punjab I won't find a job here I wanted to move out from  here and I am not even sure what I wanna do in life ahead
I feel like everyone e is progressing 

Idk I am so confused right now
Idk what will happen
I was a topper where am I landing now
Idk 


Yes it's just that the others who were behind me are progressing and I m still stuck

It's like that even I wanna also be independent my parents are just thinking that at least I ll go so it will be better for my future as according tk them India is unemployed especially MBA grads

Idk it's just that I m f...k so confused right now that Idk 
I an interested in writing, economics, psychology, management 
Idk what to do with these 
How will I?
I don't have a very strong financial background that if these don't work I ll be fine so they want once they invest and send me there and my life will set eventually 

Yes.... I know
U know what thinking abt all this I went into serious depression and got many anxiety attacks in 2020 and then again in the beg of this year but today again I am going into that zone

I came out of it in 2021 by working on myself I mean I tried to improve my overall personality like I shed that extra weight, I started blogging, did few online internships, volunteering for poor, started poetry this year, worked on my looks, but but Idk I am going into that zone again , I know how I gained that confidence buy I am losing it again now

It's just thinking that my ex batchmates are studying in those brilliant classes with those brilliant students and here I am studying in not so good clg 
They ve become better versions and wtf am I doing

Yes I know but still Idk why am doing this and ruining my mental health 

Yes...
I know...
First of all I should restart working on myself

Yes....
I ll start working on every aspect of life 
I ll try to work on my body on my studies on my career on my skills on my diet on my confidence on my looks everything
Hopefully 🤞🤞

Yes...
These are just lil tings....
I know it was the social media that was disturbing me when I saw their university names in bio they make me upset but I ve a long way to go and one day I ll also grab a lot of opportunities I am sure and problems are obviously a part and parcel of life and I shouldn't be afraid of them
P.S: I am sure that God might have planned something for me that I didn't get a chance to study in a big univ and I am living in my hometown 
Everything happens for a reason

Yes I hesitate a lot to post on social media 
My poem got published in a book by an insta page and I really wanted to thank them and I was so happy and I wanted to tell everyone that I ve become the co author of a book but I felt so confused that I put a story and deleted it 3 times thinking what will people think of me that I am showing off.
This is how social media disturbs me.
I hardly upload a photo of my own, I usually upload it as a story but for that also I hesitate alot.
I mean zero confidence at all 


It's not like that I don't put my pictures but as a story only, I literally don't want anyone to give any kinda validation.
U know what I hesitated a lot cz I never wanted anyone to know my college so I never clicked a picture there but my clg isn't that bad it is the best in the city and it is the same clg where Kapil Sharma graduated.
About that poem I got a certificate and a book where they ve published my photo and poem so I initially thought to upload it but then I felt that it would be like showing off.
Idk why I get so baffled. I wasn't like this before 

Exactly I know 
This thing what will people think of me is making me loose confidence 

Actually I wanna do a job first so I am worried 

You can prepare for doing master's from good college. 
It will balance.

Anxiety

I feel like dropping off my college as I am working to build my own startup. Any suggestions 

Supportive

Soon I'll be done w my 1st year of college and the whole year was all online so I had some major trouble making friends and I realized over this period that I suck at making friends? 

Friends

In this pandemic situation, I have drifted away from all my college friends(since I didn't have much in school) , I have applied for masters in Australia and I am really really worried about my social life as I am much of an ambivert, but still trying to find friends around. I just wanted to know if this is normal or am i just overthinking? 

Overthinking

Nothing happens in college

College

We live a protected life throughout our school lives. College is our first exposure to outside world and unknown people. Its like a reality check where we unveil the faces of many people to expose their true colors. Be careful!!! 

Education

Bro when tf is my college gonna open , imma cry now 🥲🤌🏻

3am Thoughts

I don't know how to tell. But everyday I go to college everyday and I have a some friends but they are just hii hello type.Noone wants to a deep concessions with me. I am that type of person who cannot believe anyone easily. At the end I feel that would I will find someone or not.So I am trying to find a friend who can share his/her thoughts or his/her  experience with me.So can you be my friend.😄
Drop a message.

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