Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Thanku 🤞🏻

Yes yes yes.
I just write stuff here and go offline so that I don’t think about it because keeping it inside just sucks out the energy.
Just 15 days 😰

Well, i am gonna go study.
Thanx for writing @sanket
Always good to hear from you. 😄

Btw, how are you ? How’s your days going ?

@sanket
Hey sanket !
Sorry to bother u like that, but i would like your opinion.
I feel So blue so blue- wenever i msg him about love or anything- he just ignores me. It kills me how he’s changed. He is not that person anymore. SERIOUSLY!
And i am not able to study not even for a bit !!
If i ask him, why dont you reply- he is like cuz i dont want to and then says dont take it in a negative way, but wats positive about that ?? Sheesh !
He dont love me anymore. He dont. I keep saying that but don’t believe that.
His actions made all those years ZERO. Totaly unvaluable. TOTALLY !!
He is happy without me.
I don’t matter to him.
I am going crazy. My dad is askin me if my prep is going good, and here i am totally wasting my days over him and not able to concentrate.
Ugh ! 🥲

First of all, you are not wasting your time, you just have set your focus on some other thing.

I’m putting myself in his position and visualizing things from his perspective:
-My ex is texting me regarding the love, I can see that we don’t have a chance to be together in future. I will think it would be best to halt the romance aspect with her or in the relationship
-Ghosting/Ignoring her would be inappropriate behaviour. I will still talk to her when needed because we have spent a great time in the past, I just cannot leave/ignore any such person
-I will always be clear with my points. I would like her to not touch/scratch the romantic aspect since this will also hurt my emotions
-If things start annoying/hurting me then I can go distant, ghost her, ignore her completely
-But let’s just not do such a thing for now

Above are the thoughts that would run through me if I broke up.
Why do you want to send messages regarding love to him? What’s making you do so? What is your intention behind this?
I know it’s pretty obvious but think for a long run. You are ready to adjust & make sacrifices for him. But what about his side? What if he will never be able to find the balance between you and his family? Anyways I should not dig.

Why can’t you accept the fact that the romance has been lost? It’s just a friendly relationship now? You have put so many efforts and time into your relationship agreed. But now it would be unfair to those efforts if you put yourself in a rough spot. His actions are noting making everything zero. You should feel proud that he is still supporting you, he is in contact with you. You have dated an amazing person, but he is not able to take that relationship to the next level.

Please console yourself. Sending romantic messages will just hurt you, but have a normal conversation. Put some restrictions on yourself. Focus more on the exam, just 14 days are left. Talk to your friends, your family, you need to put these thoughts away. These thoughts are very dominating and disturbing. Go to your friends/family and take some real and effective help.

I don’t know if this approach will work for you or not. Take a paper, plot a calendar for the next 20 days. Note down your objectives on it.
Main objectives should be:
-8 hours of study for 8days
-6 hours of study for 4days
-A day with revision
-Very less social interaction for the upcoming days

Put a tick if you have successfully achieved your objective on that day. If not question yourself why you were not able to achieve it? What needs to be done to cover the previous day’s objective and how you can be more efficient?

Thats true, maybe he is disturbed now, but you know, he never said anything, and moved on, on his own leaving me with all the doubts about everything, he never said directly what we should do. Although its pretty understood but still, i would atleast love to see how he is taking it rather than making me feel that- “its useless to even talk about it”
I mean, on some part, it must be me who is thinking too much but from his side, there is no soft spot you know. He is like- one day he decided not to talk as a lover and made himself distant from me ! Never talked about it. Never even said a word if he loves me or anything, its like, everything just MADE NO SENSE TO HIM ONE DAY,
And he decided to kinda throw that away and very suddenly- called me a FRIEND. That was it !
Thats why he said- “i could have ran away just the way it was but I didn’t” but i guess he feels sorry for himself for not running away.
His replies made me felt nauseous, he didn’t even sound lovable, not at all. Just like that ! Although he decided to not develpo grudges and stuff , you also said that he is helping me, he is not actually, not at all !
If he would have left like that and the kind he is behaving now, my thoughts are the same !
Because its like, i dont even know to whom iam talking to anymore. He is not the same person. He suddenly just left me at the spot where he is just getting irritated from me, and i am looking for answers or maybe i am just looking fir the person who actually loved me. He left me in a place where i keep askin myself that maybe he didn’t love me.
He just dont want any grudges between us but he is ghosting me and then talk to me as if he don’t know about any mesgs !
I mean he chose to IGNORE me !!! Suddenly !!
He keep making excuses and stuff. And i could actually see where he is keeping me in his life. He actually wants nothing to do with me now.
Oh i am so mad !
Sorry to eat your brains. I am too much.

Yes @sanket thats a good plan. I will try this , change would be good.
Thanx for hearing me out and helping me.
🌟

I get your concern. Why he has left you all of a sudden. Why on one very day he just feels nothing for you. You know several thoughts and emotions were been through his head before that ONE DAY. You are still left unanswered or in other words, his justification is not convincing for you. He has been very clear and straightforward, till I know. After the breakup, if two parties are still communicating then I count it as a goodwill/supportive gesture.
Can I say you are making him feel sorry because he didn’t run away? Not blaming you, do you remember our initial conversations? I feel you still need answers, convincible answers. I have asked you to disconnect from him, jot down all of your concerns in a constructive way, manage some time with him and put forward those questions.
Also, I have asked you “why are you texting him in regards to the romance/love/affection aspect?” I don’t need an answer, you need to be aware of the root cause here.

Let us give this scenario a pinch of professional flavour. A medical professional passes through a high amount of pressure & tension. An individual needs to be highly stable and should be able to work at a high pace and effectively. Suppose NEET is your patient and is in the critical stage. Here diagnosis would be
Why are you not able to not study? What is distracting you?
How can you overcome this distraction and put your best efforts into the studies?
What necessary precautions are needed to be taken in order to save the patient?
How fast and effectively can you implement these precautions?
Keep daily track of the patient’s progress
You will be facing a similar scenario where you can be disturbed/stressed/tensed and you need to handle a critical case. I want you to put efforts, diagnose the patient here and showcase some results. Tuesday is coming @tuesy, I will sure ping you on EoD, I want some progress from your side, not a lie but a real answer, even if you have progressed very little then tell me that. Also, ask your family to ask you about your preparations.

There was something more that I wanted to say but I forgot what! but will post here as soon as I remember

Yea, i get your point, i am making him feel sorry indirectly i guess. I understand him but i dont know what i want from him exactly. I just wanted to know if he is been feeling the same or he could atleast not ignore me you know. I dont expect much i really dont, but ignoring the person you have spent everyday with you ? Its just not right !
Ignoring everything that what was between us and just keeping me as a friend, i feel ashamed u noe, i feel insulted. And knowingly what a FRIEND means to him and now all that stuff he won’t be doing it with me, but with his wife. I wanted to be a part of his family. He is such a nice person. 😕

Very nicely placed @sanket.
Yes, i can do that. I will. I need to write these points and actually think over this stuff. I am not able to commit to myself maybe, thats the issue. I will try. I need some discipline, they way you put the scenario, i mean- this behaviour is very destructive for me. I mean j have to deal with LIVING BEINGS here.
Cant jeopardise their life.
I will dig into it sanket.
Thanku so much for coping up with me. 🙏🌟and making some time for me. Thanku 😊

Somewhere you are feeling jealous because he will get physical with another girl, completely normal, even he can feel the same? Anyways for now I just want you to focus on your NEET.
Don’t thank me, you will be helping numerous people in the future, just want you to be a good doctor. Will feel proud.

Ok, it’s night, if you haven’t had your dinner yet then do it, get relaxed, go to sleep. Start diagnosing your patient tomorrow, you have one and half-day, I need something from your side on Tuesday. Seeya

@sanket
I get it- what bothers me so much.
See, if two people love each other and due to circumstances cant be together, both get sad. Right ? BOTH !!
Its not like i want to see him miserable or something i would never want that for him but its the FACT- you will see BOTH of them sad ! But what he made me feel, as if YES I AM OVER YOU AND I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION, he could have said that he loves me but situation demand something else. He didn’t !!
He just JUST LIKE THAT, FELL OUT OF LOVE sanket, the thing is he fell out of love so easy. That’s wat kills me sanket. And then he ignores me and everything, just makes me doubt everything !!
Because- one thing is- both love each other sometimes share their feelings and help each other grow but here, i am the one who is stuck, he didn’t even told anything except slowly ignoring me sanket. Thats wat kills me. Because according to me, what we had, was so lovely and how he ended it, broke me jus broke me !!!
I also know each and everything but the way he put up things, make me vomit!
How could he just ignored me slowly, he wanted to actually just get out of this rather than anything else. It only means he didn’t love me enough. I have always been doubting my intuition but i know i should be sure of this one !
I dont see that kind of positivity- where you know you love each other and wat you had was beautiful but here, he fell out of love- wat he wants is- just ACT as if nothing happened, i am the one who is suffering and he just got out as if none of that mattered to him. Suffering( a little )is the indicator that you loved someone and you feel sad that you wont get that person in your life because you are giving up someone you love. Its the FACT sanket. It is the indicator unless and until you fell out of love and so it becomes SO SO EASY that you dont even care about that stuff !! That is wat is happening !!! And that is what has happened.
Thats why i get disturbed because his behaviour is making me question all those 4 years and myself !! And HIM !!
THATS THE PROBLEM !

Your concern is genuine
-What if he had been through the sadness before the day he broke up? I mean he anticipated the future, he became rigid and then he broke up?
-Or he may have lost interest in you
You are the one who must be knowing the reason more accurately.

For now, I want you to keep this topic aside for few days, focus on the NEET
After 18April ready to hear you out, you have my time. For now please, a keen request can you console yourself and focus on something that has more priority?

Yes ok @sanket
Seeya ✌🏻

Tuesday evening, just a reminder…

Yes you are right. I can and i will keep this matter aside.
Yes @sanket, see you tuesday.
Nighty night 💫

Good evening @tuesy :)

Hey @sanket
Well, maybe i knew the reason why i am not able to study- the biggest reason being- i have been comfortable in so many bad situations now that i hardly took action to recover from it or do something about it, you know- very much loving my comfort zone.
And there are many reasons behind this too, all my past that i have been lingering on.
From yesterday, I decided- NO MORE ! There are way too many precautions that i need to take- figuring out slowly and i will overcome.
What i did now is, i am writing all the points which i need to change and my goal is to maintain the continuity in doing so ! Thats the major area where i broke down so easy- in keeping my promise.
These things cant be implemented so fast but from yesterday I promised myself, that i will keep on implementing till i become the better version of myself ‘atleast’ .
Avoid the grammatical mistakes 💫

*break down easy

Great, now you are aware that you are struggling to get out of the comfort zone. Appreciate the efforts that you have put to analyze yourself. A high level of confidence is being reflected here, keep it up.
Keep in mind that this is a long term process, you will get tired at some point, you will need to take rest in order to get back up, take it slowly & steadily, don’t be too harsh/strict on yourself, keep track of your progress, seek help whenever needed.
Have you asked someone from your family to keep asking you about your preparations? This can create performance pressure and you may perform well, just an idea though, not intending to pressurize yourself.

A person posted that he/she is also preparing for the NEET and is looking for a study partner. I was thinking if you want you can connect to that person and you guys can group study for a couple of hours? ONLY IF YOU WANT. Posting the link for that comment, if you want you can connect.

Study well, take care, feels good to hear from you, bubye :)

https://nowandme.com/okay-so-anyone-giving-neet-in-2021-i-LMrhYqSSL

I apologize if it is inappropriate to mention this another person, just thought that you guys could study together…

Aray, what about your patient??

Hey, I was trying to reply but don’t know why, it was being rejected. Lol
Thanx for the concern @sanket , I will look into it, I am not sure though, because I study best when m alone, but I will talk to that person.
Thanku 😄
And yes my family, always ask about my prep, that’s never been an issue and yes ofCourse, I know I sounded too confident but I understand the ups and down that i have to face no matter what, this time I will and will keep on trying.

What about it 🤔

@sanket, for the patient, I have started her on some treatment but she will be needing that treatment for a longer period, thats what the report says, I have figured out so many differential diagnosis, so it’s gonna be a long journey for her but yes I can say, soon she will be in a rehabilitation mode.
She will get throught his 😁

Good good, take good care of your patient
Take care, put good amount of efforts, seeya later

Hi @tuesy
How are you? How things around you are going?

Hello @sanket
M great.everything is good.
How are you ??
Btw, news got out today evening- NEET PG is postponed.

Am good
Yeah, heard that
Postponement = more time for preparation, things are aligning for you, keep it up, be consistent
What is the new date?

Yes, hoping for the best.
Umm, date hasn’t been decided yet.
You say, how’s everything with you ? How’s work ?

Hoping will not lead you anywhere :)
Not demotivating you, don’t just lose the focus and maintain consistency

Nothing interesting, pretty much same, working to achieve all the targets
3 people from my team are tested positive, fear is rising…
Actually, yesterday got the news that the girl has been tested positive and is admitted, nothing serious, feels like something is sinking inside me, want to talk but have been restricting myself, maybe I will just check with her condition, formally, sorry I’m bothering you, never mind.

Have you been assigned to covid duty?

Yes true.
Oh, yes the corona cases are at peak, one must take precautions as much as possible. Hope everyone gets better.
Is this the girl you like or you just normally telling the situation around you ??
Anyways, if you feel like it, just talk to her, askin someone about their health-always a kind gesture and its clear that you care for her so, its nothing bad.
Also, please don’t say that you have bothered me, i mean, if you are saying this word over this minor convo then i don’t know how much i had bothered you !
No, I’ve been preparing since a year now, but now with the rising cases- i was thinking about joining- still not sure though.

If you are sorry, then how much sorries do i owe you ? 🤨

And what’s sinking? Care to describe your feeling ?
Hope m not overstepping.

Yes, she is the one whom I like.

Naah, you don’t have to be. TBH I visit this site and reply to some comments, sometimes people find it useful, that makes me feel light for a bit, the cycle goes on.

If you join then make sure you & fellow docs are safe first, you are the one who has those skills to help people’s body recover. Since NEET is postponed it would be great if you start practising, you will end up earning some money, will also keep you busy, what are your thoughts?

Ok will explain

Yes,that is what I was thinking.
I will see what to do about this situation though, because at one side, I have more time now to study and get my dream seat ,on the other hand this job thing. So a bit confused.
Will think about it though.

Oki, whnever you feel comfortable.

So it’s like
-am not a social person so I really don’t know how to communicate
-haven’t spoke to her since many many many days, never got a single message from her side
-she has shifted to new city, enjoying her new life
-feels quite left out, its better to not contact
-OR just a formality of asking about her health and then back off

Its complicated, I do have texted her but with no confidence

It is like for the first time I had some attraction towards someone, I started putting efforts to communicate more and more but wasn’t able to even at least create a memorable bond. And now, in fact, I have a good friendship with her close friend from the office, but not with her

I myself have created chaos in my head

@sanket
I get a sense that you get nervous.
You should really not think too much about the situation, just go for it whenever you feel like and i know you must be polite when you talk. And its ok, not everyone can understand us at one go, it takes time to build any kind of relationship and i guess, with time, we kind of act like ourselves when we feel more comfortable, so, be comfortable all the time with yourself and its the fact, not everyone is supposed to like us and its ok.
If anything ever meant to you, just ask the person about how she is doing and if you feel neglected by that person, then maybe its a sign to let go off that person.
My brother is like the same as you, he is bad at starting conversation but he feels perfectly fine when he is comfortable and not everyone can actually make that happen for you.
Well, i sint know where k am heading, compared to your intelligence, i feel it wont help you. 😂
But i hope it does.
I just want for you, that you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around anyone, a little bit nervousness is ok, but not too much that you make chaos in your head.
Chill 🤘🏻
Maybe, when the right one comes along, you won’t even feel this way. Till then keep on improving your conversation and stop making it a big deal.
Lol, let me know if i have helped you even a bit.
Btw, did you talk to that girl about her health ?

After a long time ha?
“Compared to your intelligence” - I’m a very immature person, trust me on this.
Also, some different kind of energy is being reflected over here, something positive, liked that, nice to hear from you. You are progressing well, keep it up ^.^

Well, I have had just text exchanges with her, to be precise only three texts - “Hi, kaisi hai?”, “Ghar wale?”, “Good, dhyan rakh” these are the exact words.
As I said earlier, just for the sake of asking I have texted her

What’s cooking on your side? Started working? How things are going in your family?

@sanket
Well, i made friends with corona and i had fever and very bad headache almost everyday so i avoided watching my fon and everything. So, yesterday only, i felt good, so now m watching movies as i am room quarantained.

Well, you, you have great sense of humor.

These kind of conversation happen btween me and my ex.
Its better to leave you know, when the next person doesn’t care much, not even as a good friend or something, doesn’t show interest , why bother him/her and disturb your peace of mind as well ?
As i said,not everybody is supposed to like everyone.

No m not working, still recovering, and i have decided to study only.
Moreover, i have only got a month and a half, rumors say exam will be held in mid june- so its not that far.

Oh, sad. You know exactly what you have to do with this, take care, rest well.

I agree with you.
You know I have become quite rude & arrogant because of that person, not blaming her, it is actually because of these events that I have developed such qualities OR may be I am, I have mentioned this earlier too. This is something that I do not like and I just want to be kind & friendly to others.

Hmm that means I will be bugging you for your preparations till June 😁

@sanket , it happens, but as beautiful you sound, don’t let anyone affect you, ofcourse everyone changes after a particular situation but you are the only one who have to make sure that the change you welcome is - positive.

If you want , then be that person. Its pretty simple actually. But you gotta initiate taking little steps towards being that person.
Oh, look at me how much i have grown 😂😂
And never ever change yourself for someone if you don’t personally feel that changing will be good for you and your loved ones, but specifically “for your own”
If you genuinely feel then do it, otherwise don’t.
Ok, i went too far.

No you don’t bug me. It’s nothing like that.

You are a grown-up already, you lost your focus and energy for some time and now since you have started gaining it back, you will start progressing ^.^
Keep it up!

Thankyou for saying that @sanket

@sanket
Hi, tell me one thing, if you can tell me your opinion- how can a guy- say “Why would i be bothered if you are going to marry” - well u know my history- no need to tell here.
How could he just say that , i mean what comes in the mind of a guy when they realise there’s no future with that particular girl ? - who used to be like A BIG DEAL before.

Hey
Oops! sounds quite rough, but he is saying to you again and again that you have to move on…
On the other hand, this also sounds attention-seeking to me (as I have used such a tone to seek attention). NO, it’s not, he has been very clear with you always, so it is clearly not this case.

@tuesy When a person realizes that they have no future with their partner, they chose to steer away, so may be he is trying to make you immune to him?

Can I ask a question? Actually two
1. Has he really moved on?
2. We had a deal that you will not initiate OR get into conversations regarding relationship & emotions with him, right?

@sanket
So, you think this behaviour is “attention seeking” ??
I didn’t get you 🤔please explain, i would like to know your thoughts.
I don’t know why i asked him about this marriage thing, he clearly said he has no problem.
I just feel so weird- i que myself, when i talk to him, didn’t he feel that he wants to live with me or anything ?
Why am i the only one !
Well, m not sure though but the way he talks and the way he is changed, has made me believe.
Maybe once in a while, i just go crazy for him. And then his “moved on” behaviour irritates me or maybe make me jealous.
I just focus on the negatives of him otherwise i just kind of fall hard.
He dont even care if I’ll be married to someone else 😹
Wtf ! 😔

I said such things for seeking her attention, to tease her, so the incident was like she said something related to my presence and then I said “Mere hone na hone se kya farak padta hai”, I was trying to talk to her, seek her attention…
I do not know what his mindset is, but the question why it is affecting you? You already know that your ex has started moving on or moved on already. You should not be concerned about his thoughts for your life. He is gonna be cold, he has to be otherwise he will end up hurting you more.

I can understand you being crazy for him, it has been around 100days since I have last spoken to her, I was not in a relationship but still, I miss her, want her attention, I wish to stalk her, whereas you were with him for a good amount of months, the pain is just too much.

Coming back to you, what can you do so that you won’t get hurt in the near future OR even you get hurt you bounce back very quickly?
-Have you considered speaking to your closest friends/family about all your emotional disturbances? They can be a quick and effective help.
-Can you try disconnecting from him completely for at least 14days from tomorrow, and you need to follow this for the forthcoming weeks? Even you connect then it should be a formal conversation? I will be checking with you again on this perhaps…
-Start accepting the things, feel the pain, understand it, help yourself to find out what is stopping you from moving on. You have said previously that you like being in a comfortable spot, step a little out of it?
-NEET PG! It is postponed for now, but dates will be announced in the coming days. What is the status of your Patient miss, may I know?

Too many questions above there, not sure if I’m suppressing your feelings and forcing my own thoughts?

@sanket, m not in a state to answer these questions rite now, m literally in shock,
He told me a day before yesterday-he had sex with a prostitute 2-3 months back.
And he says, all of a sudden, hewill do anything for our marriage to happen ( which was kind of totally impossible for his family) if I forgive him.

Then next thing he says, I knew all the those years that we had no future still he got into a relationship and then, he said,
“I REPENT THOSE YEARS”

Then he says, " Theek hai, nikal gye chaar saal, abb tu apna dekh mei apna dekhunga, meine ni socha tha aise ek dusre ki life mei ghusenge"

After that, " ease tu bhi shaadi krwaale, mei bhi krwa leta hu"

Then he says, " I love you, aise he toh ni meine apni family se baat kri thi tere liye"

Then, " meri family mei akr tujhe bhi dikkat hogi mujhe bhi, izzat ka sawaal aata hai family ka"

In all these things, I don’t know, if he was even sorry !
He said so many things ,like so many, at one point he is making me feel as if we were over, then he is making me feel that he made a mistake by coming into a relationship with me, then next thing I know, he loves me also, and then he convinces me how difficult it is to marry, then he says he will do anything to marry me if I forgive me.

I am so fucked up sanket !!
So much !!
I feel so tired.

After having written this, I feel if you feel trapped in talking to me.
Please feel free to ignore @sanket, I know I have been eating your head for so long now.

Both the parties are now in a deep dilemma! Looks like the breakup is hurting him now. Do not get overwhelmed by the emotions @tuesy, take each step wisely. All the things that he has done can be because of regrets. Now think about the future, remember all the mistakes from the past and think about the future. If he has regrets for those four years then why do he wants to get back with you?

Uh, can he get a second chance? Not immediately, let the emotions stabilize themselves on both sides. When both of you can actually start thinking straight and be practical about it, start heading towards a second chance, slowly & steadily?

If you guys want to continue then proceed ahead with concrete commitments. He needs to stand against his family for you, he will need to find the balance, you will have to adjust, his family will have to adjust…

Talk to him @tuesy, make him express each and everything.

Of course, I will ignore it, the second message, burst out yaar whatever you want to say, your concerns, your happiness, in fact, you can even put your frustration on me, abuse me, make me tilt, just do it.

@sanket it just kills me to know that, when I was crying about him and thinking about him each and every day, he went Ahead and had sex and even after that incident for 2 months, he’s been acting cool like nothing had happened. How did he even live by himself knowingly, what had he done and on the top of that, Didn’t told me.
I tried sanket, to make.him comfortable what was in his mind, but then the way he started saying those things, regret and all…broke my heart more. His voice was not in ‘apologizing’ tone,it was more like a frustration.
I just wish, he hadn’t told me this, and what kind of second chance, he won’t choose me over his family, he was having totally mixed feelings, sometimes I don’t even get him, what he’s trying to do or say , I try my best to atleast ask all the possible questions.
I am just tired, lyin on bed, so peacefully, I still just can’t accept that he actually did it.

And thanx for listening to me, I can’t share it with my friends, I don’t want their judgement for him.

Ofcourse I won’t abuse you, But thanku for being there and being so so patient. 🙏

We are continuing chat here, on a thread of 29March, and you know i have been sharing here since feb, how many times did I actually wrote that m missin him md stuff, and what did he do, last year’s October-November, he started behaving differently, then feb-march he did sex.
And all throughout this time, i was Miserable and he was just living his life, and he still has no problem marrying someone else because he is just NORMALLY cool with it and take it casually !
Then why would he be sorry and what for ???
He dont even care, and by his voice, i could say, wasn’t that guilty. A little ? Sure.
But not much !
I was starting to get A BIT positive, i still hadn’t moved on, and what did he do ? Sex!
I was trying to be positive , but now I wouldn’t even want to get married for like 10years !! I dont !!! I just dont want to deal with any guy right now ( no offence )
You know, i have started to hate this body because he touched me, i am just so frustrated and he is. And he is out there, definitely feelin LITTLE BAD but not much- since that incident- he’s been doing his duties and everything, eating perfectly, buying iphone, earning money, convincing me that he will love me but he had no probelm marrying another women, then he questions me that i make him confuse about each n every thing !
A guy , above mentioned, when and where was he sorry ?? When he was buyin iphone 12 pro or when he was with his friends eating fancy dinners !
Bullshit !

I guess, i can completely cut off from him, maybe he will be better this way, the frustration he showed me, and he got physical- and then waited for 2-3 months- its playing in a loop in my mind- these past 2-3 months how i had send him msgs and asked him so many questions ( in the starting days of April and definitely in jan feb march ) he was nirmally talking with me- just so normally, i was always askin him about out future and he was just so casual and blaming me everytime- that “why the hell you are not able to move on, just stay calm and please let me move on, i have no problem marrying someone”
It happened during those times and he didn’t tell me @sanket.

2nd thing -he told me- he had already sorted everything in his mind during those years that this colg time would be IT !
Because apparently, i was the one who told him that its ok- we will figure everything later in the future BUT i also kept saying that how much i love him and i would like you to talk with your parents, whenever he said that its not possible, i would just wont listen and accept because i made his parents THE FINAL STATION. I had HOPES.
It means- all those years- he was not close enough and he would think of me as a side kick ??? Because i was the one who told him that ITS OK- even when we had sex !
IWAS THE ONE. Nd i fuckin HATE MYSELF.
It means- the image he had in his mind for me- wasn’t that good because I told him that it will be okay !!!

I know sex was big deal for me still i wanted to do WITH HIM. Its completely my fault !
I was happy a virgin.
Afterall guys only care about one thing- that girl shouldn’t be clever to blame a guy after that happens considering girls actually do that sometimes!

Do not let your frustration turn into self-hatred @tuesy.
His intimacy with other women, he may have done this just to suppress his thoughts, or to divert his attention, maybe just for some spark in his life. We males usually get hit by the break up after a month or two, we gradually start getting annoyed & irritated because of the breakup, it becomes tough for us. Please consider all such things as his mistakes and get rid of them, these thoughts will just ruin your mood. Yes I know it is very easy to say this, I cannot even feel what you are feeling, but you need to gain control in order to get stability.

Since the very beginning, you have shown affection for him, this is a great side of you. You have the potential of enriching a relationship, do not let yourself damage this potential. Also if the breakup has really started hitting him then do help him, you very well know how this pain feels like, so help him to heal this pain.

Befriend him, steadily you will get to know his mentality.
Keep patience, this situation has happened over the course of time, this will not be solved immediately. Don’t even start solving it immediately, you both are now disturbed, stabilize first.
Talk to your friends, the ones who do not know him well or they are your friends only, or cousins? Please do not suppress yourself, a simple conversation will really help you, talk it out tuesy.

@sanket
How is he disturbed when he yells at me and says that yes you are my friend, then he says i love you still, then he says, “kuch nai ho skta future ka” “mere cousins ne boht baar bola hai, ladki gharwalo ki marzi se he achi rehti hai”
Then he says, if you forgive me, i will do anything.
Is that a threat ??? I mean that guy, suddenly believes that he can do something for our marriage to happen , all these months and the last year, infact all those 5 years , he could have done something???
But now he thinks of it ONLY IF I FORGIVE HIM ?

Its the way he says so many things, hurts me !
When he told me this thing, i asked him, that i am
Only a friend ? He says YES.
Then he says he feel trapped because OF Me. I wont let him side with something.

Believe me @sanket, i know i reacts a bit IMMEDIATELY, but i would never want him to not tell me something.
I have said this a million times to him, that you can say whatever you feel, its my problem how i feel, i have been saying this for so many years. But at the end he blames me ?
You know, when he told me this thing, after that call, i messaged him, “what is it, that bothers you, about me ?, why would you say that I won’t let you choose a side? What do you feel about me?“
That was the first thing that came across my mind
But then his aunt died and he says i will answer everything.
Which is a veryy funny thing actually, because whenever i ask him something, he says he will answer BECAUSE SOMETHING HAS ALWAYS HAPPENED WITH THAT GUY, WHENEVER I ASK HIM SOMETHING!!
And this has been going on for a year now !
Whenever we were about to fight, as in i would ask him that what was wrong, then he would just tell me “SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT I CANT TALK NOW” or he would say- “TODAY THIS THING HAPPENED, i am not in a state”
Well his aunt died, thats true, he wouldn’t lie about this. He actually never lied about those things, its just- he would bring up that topic whenever he felt that i would maybe say something!
And i could sense that, which is also a very funny thing because i have been sensing so many things, that i would just not believe them , and straight away ask him but then he do something- about which i get another Sense !

Ugh, i am screwed 😂😂😂
Sorry, ruining ur morning
( seekin attention )
I hope you had a smile.
You are a great listener @sanket and definitely give your best advices and scenarios.

Haven’t you sensed his frustration yet?

He has now started blaming you, something must have happened on his side due to which he is now blaming you, some toxicity perhaps. Maybe he wasn’t able to achieve something and is now relating it to you! That is how toxicity usually develops Ignore his words, you have done nothing wrong here, you haven’t even bothered him, have you?

He is not threatening you, he is also fucked up, in this current situation he might be looking for support as well, in you perhaps. I remember you saying that he is a nice guy, so why this nice guy has turned into chaos?
If you feel that he is turning into a threat then decide whether you want to speak to him now or later when you both are thinking straight? Things are quite heated now, give yourself enough time to think. Sort out things one by one, what are your faults? why is he blaming you? why he is willing to do anything for you? Make him take a side, as in make him tell very clearly what does he thinks about you, bug him, annoy him, use tricks, he will ruin his mood as well as yours until he is not sure what is he up to.

Naah, very good morning to you, nope you are not seeking attention at all. Glad that am helpful to someone, but you know you should be thankful to yourself.
You were the one who found out that you don’t step out of the comfort zone, you realized that your breakup is affecting your studies, you planned out things and started studying again even though you were disturbed. Reminding you again, your career will always put you in a pressurized situation, so the current situation is. Being a doctor you will have to put your efforts to heal other bodies. In future situations like this will do come, maybe financial crisis or family issues, or something else, you will still have to take care of your patients. I believe you are putting efforts, even though they are minimal, but some amount towards your career.

He is frustrated because someone is here to ask about things- and that is me.
Thats why he is frustrated ofcourse, because had i left him a year ago, he wouldn’t have to face anything.
Its just me.
Yea I bothered him with my feelings !
I wil look into myself!
I have messaged him that he should take time to figure things on his side and I won’t ask a single question, just take time and let me know what do you feel and what do you want !
One thing for which i am sure about is- i dont want any friendship now, he dont love me and he definitely dont care !

M getting so frustrated, i am feeling as if i want to rip off this body, m just so irritated !

Now just because someone had physical relation with you and that guy is no longer with you, you want to destroy your body, nice, very nice!

What about your parents? Who have invested their time, their emotions, their whole bloody life to raise you, to bring you where you are, who just want to see their daughter happy, what are they supposed to do? They have more rights on the body than you do, as they are your creator!

@tuesy You being angry is okay, but the way in which your anger is coming out is not acceptable

@sanket
Ofcourse, u r right !
I guess i was just so frustrated.

@sanket, funny thing happened in the evening, i got to know from my mother that my ex was asking the nmbr of my dad from my brother. And it turns out,his dad talked to my dad, so many things happened, me and my parents we got knto discussion- we actually thought if so many scenarios shared our views, conclusion- that- i will focus in my studies and lets see after that.
My parents were cool, we just shared thoughts with each other and nothing else.
But i am just so tired, i am jist not even excited not even happy- just neutral and loving my bed.
I dont know what had happened, seriously!

The whole game has changed and my head is spinning !
Although i dont know what will be the conclusion of this thing, but right now, i dont want him to feel burdened by any of these things plus- m
Gonna sleep like nothing matters in this world .

And he cried, in front of his dad, and then in phone.
I wish he hadn’t told me about that intimate scene.
Because that thing- had made me feel so- I don’t even have a word.
And i am just tired . Thats it.
You know, i have never felt this excitement for sleep as i am now.
Just want peace for sometime.

Good to know that you are again focusing on your studies (^.^)

Do not think about it @tuesy, it will annoy you more, take rest & focus well 👍

Yes, Thanku for being there @sanket ☺️

@sanket
Ok sanket, so that was all bullshit, he is again like- “izzat ni rhegi samaj mei and all”
Then he says “ pyaar m shaadi zroori toh nahi hai na “

I wanna kill him now ‘

Doctors are supposed to save na?

He cannot let you go @tuesy and he is also scared to face society!
Poor situation, do not let hatred develop in yourself, you are facing pain for many days and now it is not healthy to be angry with him.
Listen to him and forget it, if he really start taking steps then you should be concerned, else… i don’t know!

Its just over AGAIN !
@sanket
And i miss him AGAIN, the progress that i felt i made, its just gone i guess.
I lost him second time.
He don’t have that courage .
ITS FINALLY OVER !
And i am not fine @sanket.

I know @tuesy, it must be a disturbing time for you. None of the progress you made is gone, it’s just that this is another phase, you have started progressing previously, so will you now. Some time is needed that’s it.

Don’t mind but you may lose him again, this scenario may repeat in the coming days, you can only be prepared from your side. You need to be ready with your decision and stand firm with it. If you want to be with him then make him take a stand, a stand which is balanced!

Make sure that this scene does not lead you to self-hatred, which you have shown previously. That is not a correct way to put out the frustration. You can cuss him, send him huge messages about your feelings, you can vent it out here, spit it out on me, all acceptable but Self Hatred, NO.

You know @sanket,
Its all my fault, you know when he told me about that incident, he wasn’t that much sorry than he was for himself that he spent all thode years with me, he repent those years, he says- i was a cool guy, and he even said that i was thinking with me till colg only, not after that, i was happy alter colg too, he used to say “ acha time nikal rha colg mei” and now i know, he actually meant it.
I feel, he never respected me or my body, he has no regrets, he just regrets that i came into his life, he only has that regret, because im a person who is emotional, and my biggest mistake being, i wanted to spend my life with him, he didn’t, he was just seeing me till colg, after that, he didn’t even wanted to do anything. He said to me, that LOVE is not his priority, not above anything. Use kisi baat ka dukh nahi nahi sanket, use bas dukh iss baat ka hai, jo bhi mei bolti hu pyaar se ya emotional hokr, he gets irritated because he listens to me. That’s the thing for him.
He can never ever understand the shit i felt for him or the extent i was ready to go for him, just to spend my life with him.
I was never his priority, he just feels sorry for himself because i came in his life.
HE JUST REPENTS.

This is the sad thing that I have observed these days, those who have the potential to date others, be with others, are likely to cheat or just being with their partner for the fun element.
You were kind enough to give him another chance @tuesy, don’t label it as a fault
I’m just wondering during college he was clear that he wanted this relationship till college only then why he wasn’t clear with you, why now he wants you to stay, why he is not taking a stand, seems like he himself don’t know what to do
On the one hand, he wants you but on the other, he is not willing to against his family, a deadlock!

@sanket
He thought on his own, he just told me two days ago, how irritated he is and how he thought of our relationship till colg only, it means, he just saw me as a FUN element because i was interested and involved, but what I DID TO MYSELF, that i secretly wished for him, everyday thinking about him , to be with him and his family, i guess i ignored the reality and kept wishing for everything to change.

And yes, that’s exactly the scenario for him, whatever you just described.
But on the other hand, he blames himself and just repents for this relationship.
He just wants to be a free bird and somehow, iam not letting him fly- he describes the situation as this.

He will never, never, never ever can feel what i felt, and he will just never know my situation, never. And he is nit even interested.
Officially, i have no trust in anything, i just know, that I wouldn’t want to marry anyone, and he will live happy with ANYBODY. And he knows he will, he dont have any kind of issue.

It is your thinking that he will be happy with someone else in the future, but that’s not guaranteed. Consider the current situation, he is not happy after breaking with you.
And in fact you recovered from the heartbreak, started recovering to be precise, you will do it again, keep some patience, in this whole scenario make sure that you don’t become rude or arrogant, or too depressed.
It’s tea time almost, get some snacks, have some tea, then maybe enjoy some time alone?

Thanku @sanket.
You have been really supportive and patient to hear out and reply to each and everything with your great advices.
You have helped a lot, like a lot. And i will always be very thankful to you in my life.
Although i dont know you, but the way you have made my mind open to all the scenarios, was very practical and eye opening for me.
Thanku so much, God bless you always 🙏

No worries @tuesy, you were the one who accepted the facts and decided to start working on the scenario, be thankful to yourself. You still have a long way to cover, be patient, you will get to back a very normal and interesting life ^.^
See you later, cheers!

Yes, i wish to and thanku for saying that.
Cheers 🙌🏻

Good evening @tuesy
How are you? :)

Oh hey @sanket, I opened today to msg you only.
I myself wanted to ask you about yourself and your days. Well, happy to see your msg 😊
I am fine, how are you ?
How have you been ? What are you upto ?

Am good. This week has been annoying though, too many power outages, poor net, caused some trouble.

Have cyclone impacted your area?

Oh that’s sad, apart from that, is everything good- house situation and health wise ?

No , its all good here.
Just warm breeze

The situation at home is pretty on, although mummy is struggling with a problem, it all started recently.
How’s the environment in your house? How are your parents? Btw where are you from?

Oh, is she good ? Nothing serious ?

Env here is pretty much the same, nothing new.
Parents good by God’s grace.
I am from Punjab.
And you ?

Yeah, she is good, I don’t know how serious it is, she is having problems with her Uterus, one said it needs to remove, one doctor said it needs to clean, another says medicines would be enough.

I reside in the outskirts of Mumbai. Punjabis are meant to be the happiest person on the earth, now I wonder how you…

Oh alright, i have been to mumbai once, in 2019. It was a great trip. Well, apart from this relationship shit, i am
a jolly person.

Ohk, so, she must have got her USG done , right ? Is she is having some heavy bleeding problem ?
What did the reports say ?
And i completely understand if you dont want to discuss, afterall its about your mother.

USG mean sonography right? She did it, I don’t know what the report says but I do know that she was bleeding heavily a few days ago, body pain, weakness. Most of it started after taking the vaccine, now she has improved a lot as she is taking medicines and maybe she will go to Pune to consult another doctor, once travelling is allowed in train.

Great to hear that you are a jolly person, be more and more jolly

You were Covid positive right? How are you now? And your family?

Hey, all good @tuesy? Haven’t heard from you for days…

Oh, take care of your mother then, and i hope and pray for her wellness 🙏
Yes iam all good now, no signs and symptoms, family is great as well.

Heya , yes sorry, my nana ji was not well and so me and my mom just came back home today afternoon. There’s no wifi connection there and also i was busy with mom- doing work . Got pretty tired 😵
But he is well now.

How are you @sanket , what were you upto these past few days ? Is your mom well now ? Stable ?

I believe mummy is pretty unstable, her body pain is constant. She visited a doctor again, not sure how it went there. We might go to Pune for another consultancy.

I broke my own rule recently. I stalked her profile and now I’m missing her more. This urge of speaking to her is not just settling down!

Aw, is she takin any multivitamins/ vit D/ or
Iron tabs ?
Considering her state- she might need these 🤔
Yes you must visit.
And keep her hydrated and give fruits and veggies a lot, and have some foxnuts in the evening- they are pretty good for health specially for womens.

And for your state- you have two options i guess, you should either confess about your feelings to her or maybe develop friendship with her (but dont hurt yourself in the process)and then you will be albe to know her state OR
if you know, how the past conversations have gone and you know that she is not interested maybe- then you gotta be strong.
Which one is it ?

How is she btw @sanket ?
Did you visit the doctor yet ?

Thanks, @tuesy for the advice. Mummy has surely taken some vitamin D tablets, also she has started eating more fruits.
She has visited a nearby doctor and is taking medicines prescribed by her but I doubt her body is recovering. Yesterday she talked to my Nani or Maasi and I heard that she still feels body pain and dizziness sometimes. She is very strong though, must be hard for her.

I have selected the second option already. I was missing her and opened her Instagram profile and started scrolling. Somedays the urge takes control and things happen.

Haven’t visited the doctor yet as my dad is not allowing her to go to Pune. He wants her to return the same day as it becomes quite unbearable for him to stay without her. He just never leaves my mom. Although he has taken her to multiple doctors, but my mom wishes to visit her cousin in Pune city

Yes i agree ,urges happen, but its good that you have chosen one option already, and that’s completely ok if you loose it somedays you know !

Considering your mother’s health and visiting and travelling to doctor, i guess its pretty hard rite now becz of Corona situation, but its about her health and you guys should do anything to make her feel good bcz mothers, they bear so so much and its not right for her to feel pain.
If she has started taking tabs , it will take some Time for her body to recover but the root cause must be eliminated.

I get what your dad says, he must be very concerned ofcourse but i guess You should support her decision whatever it may be or maybe travel and stay with her for some days in pune ?

You said- multiple doctors, haven’t anyone came to any conclusion?

Multiple doctors multiple conclusion, one said to remove the uterus, one said to clean it, one said medicine should work fine. Medicines are still not very effective & and the doctor said that removal is the last option. Mummy is totally against the removal, she wants to give the last visit to her cousin.
Of course, I will travel with her, and my mom’s whole family is residing in Pune, her mother, her sisters, cousins everyone.

And how are you coping with the studies? Dates can be announced soon, hope you are preparing at least thirce a week.

Oh, i hope and pray for her good health 🙏
Either way, whatever the decision be- it will be alright, medically, there won’t be any problem as far as I believe.

Well , my studies are ok right now, not able to devote much rn, but i will.

So how is everything with you ?

Thanks for your concern @tuesy

My life is pretty okayish, just regular work and some game time with a couple of college friends. I’m also thinking to start applying for a new company, the project that I’m assigned needs to be wrapped up by mid-July, and after that, I wish to change the company. Let’s see how it goes.

Oh, all the very best for your project and for changing the company- 🌟🌟
I hope everything goes great 🌟

Hi @sanket
How are you ? And hows your mom ?

Hey @tuesy
Am doing ok, mom is doing fine. Her course of medicine is completed and I guess she will monitor herself and maybe she will go to Pune.

How are you doing? Your nanji were unwell, how is he?

Ohk, glad to know that everything is stable.
Yes nana ji is well too.
I am doing ok,
Hows your project going ?
Did you find any other company ?

I have been messing up in the client calls, I shouldn’t. Tomorrow my TL will handover all the project’s deadline in my hand and then the coming 50 days would be quite hectic and I will have to be very responsible.
Not really well in terms of finding another job, in simple words not eligible enough.

You know your username is too catchy and bit funny to say it!

Oh, so hows your Project going on @sanket ?
Responsible yet ?
Do you wish to find another job ?

Hehe, i am glad that you laugh😉
Is sanket your real name ?

Yaar my TL has resigned and is leaving on the 21st. I’m getting nervous, although the project is coming to an end, it’s quite tough to face the client, quite challenging to face them. I wish to, but my confidence is low so don’t know what am going to do…

Yes, Sanket is my real name, common simple name

Well, i believe you will do great- don’t be afraid, although I don’t quite understand your situation but what i ,myself do ,to overcome these “interactions kind of fear” is- i just try to picture in my mind that “how well i am gonna speak and convince them and i will be confident enough to win their hearts and i will be good no matter what” and i play the whole scenario again and again in my mind.
It has helped me like -ALOT !

I don’t know, i feel you are quite a confident person, your way to approach the situations , i find it great.

I have been doing the same thing that you have suggested above since last week, running the scenario in my mind a couple of times so that I don’t miss anything OR at least I make lesser mistakes.
Thanks for the positive words! ^.^

😄

@sanket
Hi how r u ?
Hows project going?
Hows your mom ?

I’m good @tuesy thanks! How about you?
The project is nearing to end, and I’m not sure about my plan yet. Let’s see.

Mom is quite unwell again, we have arrived in Pune on Sunday, mummy will visit the doctors when she gets a chance to.
Can you tell me how serious is BMC/DMC? She was talking to her sister about this process, is it BMC?

Umm, m not sure about this BMC Or DMC, I don’t think this has something to do, with medical term according to my knowledge.
Can you tell me more regarding this?
How is she doing overall?

It is some kind of procedure or test. She is having body aches and sometimes dizziness. Also, her nights are sleepless from many days. Till I know she will be visiting the doctor on Wednesday or Thursday.

She must have had some good time till now with her mother and sisters, it should be refreshing for her.

Oh right, how foolish am I, I was continuously thinking about that BMC, it’s DNC- Dilatation and Curettage.
Which means, scraping of a layer of uterus will be done.
Don’t worry, it’s a safe. Procedure and quite commonly done.

is she taking medication for this, dizziness and everything?
I hope she feels good and recover soon.

She has been taking medicines for weeks now but I don’t know if it is for the effects.
She has visited her cousin today and another set of medicines are prescribed for another 15days. Let’s see how it goes.

What’s up on your side? How are things going for you?

May she get well soon.
So, i am not well, day before yesterday, i talked to him, he was again that OLD person- but this time he was calm and calmly gave me 100 reasons as for why it won’t work- he has just moved on, this time he sounded more confident than past months- so- I didn’t say much- now i cry every now and then, just control wherever necessary, taken out my sim card- and i miss him like hell, but now i believe him, nothing will matter to him now, because he is just so far away from where i am standing and he also said to me 4 times, that “you will be okay, it will pinch at first but you will be fine”
And he said, very boldly, actually several times he mentioned this, “ i have backed off, if you wanna blame me then do it or whatsoever you want, but this marriage can’t happen, also our part in each other’s life is over now, dont even try to extend it, we were good till collg, my imagination wasn’t that strong with you as was yours, dont even pray for our marriage, i am very much done”

So i hate nights , i hate that there’s gonna be a next day, and again i will miss everything, then i long for night, but when clock struck 10- i feel nauseous, bcz i am
Having trouble sleeping.
Also, yesterday night, my dad caught me crying in my room, it was dark though, still he caught me- he said i got a feeling that i should come to you and say good night, then i went to my parents room and cried a lot and told them, that its over, they were so damn supportive, but i just couldn’t stop crying dont know why, after some time, i just slept,
So thats pretty much it !
No studies or no activity!

Aray re re, all the pain is coming back.
But you know what’s positive here, you are actually sharing it with your parents and you are getting the best support that you can have.

Am not flaming him, but he sounds like he just wanted to be with someone during college time and wanted to have all the fun that one can have in their romantic life, again this is my interpretation, he really might be into you in college but he is not able to face his family. I feel sad for all your efforts and feelings for him.
But from your vents out here I have always felt like you will invest your time, your energy into the person who matters in your life. This person has definitely hurt you and might have changed your mentality but please do maintain this quality of yours.
It’s okay if you haven’t studied at all but do not enclose yourself. Be very open with your parents, be in touch with your close friends, share your feelings with them.
Lots of people will comfort you here on this platform, provided you need to express what you feel.

You have been asking about my days and my mom’s health, again caring & friendly nature. Yes, you are hurt but you also have the potential. Your ex might have played with your feelings but that does not mean you have to punish yourself. If you believe in karma then his karma will definitely hit him back. I just want you to be a simple, happy and loving person. Do whatever it takes to be one!

Bug constantly if you want to, though I get less time to access this site these days, I do come to check the replies.

Can I share a thought that just crossed my mind?

So for my project I got a help which is my ex teammate. She had a boyfriend since years and they were reallg comitted to each other. Their marriage was announced and it was the best of her life. Yesterday I got to know that her marriage has been called off because of money issues. That girl is still standing very firm and happy, reason is she has the potential. She is earning well enough, she values her partner or her friends.

All such qualities can be observed in you too, moreover you have been asking about my days, mom’s health for no reason, it matters for me. This caring nature will always lead you to a beautiful life.
I’m really bad at communicating with people, but if I am still hearing from you after your initial posts then you really are a kind hearted person. Am not sure how am I supposed to help you at this point, i dont even know if am trying to help you or putting my thoughts here, but hearing from is good.

Thanku @sanket for the kind words and definitely for shifting my energy towards the positive side, i am trying to be, but this time, my feelings are different too, nothing is making much sense or nothing matters right now, dont know why !
Feeling like a mannequin actually 😂
I hope it don’t bother you, I actually drop msgs here only, i don’t know why, i feel as if aura here ( on this site) has changed too , and i am the person who hardly embrace change, i like it here, sharing with you, not in that sense,
I hope you won’t mind, but please let me know if anything bothers you, i dont wanna be the pain in the a**

Whatever it is, it feels good to share with you and also to hear from you.
It don’t happen very often with me.
You have helped A LOT @sanket.
I will always be very greatful to you in my life.
Asking about your mother, well ,first off she is a mother, secondly, it was nothing compared to the kindness you have shown me.
And ofcourse, i will keep asking about her every now and then.

Aw, thanku for sharing this with me @sanket,
Its good that she is standing firm on her ground, and i hope to reach that state
Too. 🤞🏻Thanku for your kind words. 🙏
As for you, beauty lies in the eyes of the observer !
It was you, who genuinely helped me, you have always replied to my posts with full energy and with your practical approach, it has changed my perspective too.
You didn’t even knew me still you have helped me like a best friend.
You are a great listener and a great adviser.
God bless you 🌟

I understand, not even seeing your breakup in other sense. You are not bothering me. Infact you have became a medium for me think from another person’s perspective. I got to meet with the pain that a breakup can bring. How constructive impact a relationship can bring in one’s life and how destructive it can be. How one can really be so much involved. For the first I have seen any breakup from this close and with such details.
You know a couple of times after reading your posts, I have tried reaching her, I always got a “Busy now, talk to you later” and this later has never come yet and at this time I could feel some part of your breakup.

Well m glad you are taking this in a positive way.
You need to stop making contact with her now, its just us, who are not able to just be okay at that same moment, we keep on askin them as if this time would be different, but in reality ,just not able accept and believe them, once we believe and accept the way they actually have been to us, we get a more clear picture.
You too Be different this time, don’t make contact now, if she cares enough, will come around some time, but if she don’t, well then,
SHE WON’T come in any way!
Believe her actions.

Its just you, who need to believe , otherwise you will keep on contacting her and she will get busy forever.

I know, infact I texted her 2-3 days ago, inspite of knowing what I’m supposed to get from other. Same cold replies and ignorance. I have done exactly what you have said. Hoping to get a good time but always turns out to be different. Better to stay silent…

Why do you still text her ?
Whats the reason sanket ?

I feel attracted towards her, a simple conversation with her makes me happy, all this is for the first time in my life and I want to convert this into something meaningful, not just a mere feeling.

But its you only, its ONLY YOU, who is feeling that.
You cannot clap with one hand you know !
Meaningful as in ? A very good friendship or relationship ?

I don’t think I will settle with good friends but I at least need an ample amount of time with her, which is highly impossible

I may have said this earlier, I rarely have had human interactions and I got 1 or 2 friends. After joining the office I freshly started making friends, quite unsuccessful, then I started sharing time with this girl, eventually, I started putting more & more efforts into a good time with her. She must have shared time for time pass, of course, it’s all from my side, but asking for some time is too much? Just because she’s a girl so am attracted, it is but not in a despo way, phew. My brain just demands her attention all the time, even if I disconnect, the urge of talking to her does not go away. Sometimes I wish I never developed such feelings, I don’t know what they are but they do make me feel happy and sad at the same time. Weird.

Can you recommend any medicine to eliminate this forever 😃

Okay,
YOU are the medicine dear.

First of all, i think, it is very rare to find a good friend nowadays okay ?
Considering you are a professional, its even harder becoz, they are basically your colleagues and i guess, after colg, when you get into a job or anything, you only had work related interactions and even if you manage to go with your colleagues to some movie or maybe dinner or lunch, its just that casual, cant really say if thats a friendship or what, and then there’s competition and most of them are just confused about their own lives just figuring out for their future and stuff. So there’s that !

Secondly, never ask for a good friend, a good and a genuine PERSON will always make a good friend no matter what !

Thirdly, have you consider that, you might be focusing much into this FRIENDSHIP thing and maybe that girl gave you her time, had chat with you, ( considering you never had one especially with a girl ) maybe that is why you are actually finding it good ?
Or you genuinely, liked her nature or looks ?
And sanket, you might wanna put your efforts for her but if she is literally not giving you anything, you seriously need to back off, she might not be interested and also its clear that its not in her priorities to even had a sensible or friendly chat with you.
It might sound rude, but i guess its the truth !
Why does this makes you so happy ?
When clearly, she is not even giving you anything ? Why do you still want to gain her attention ?
Cmon, you can do better, i feel.
I mean, you actually deal with people here in such a nice way, you have nice thinking and you clearly deserve much nicer and genuine person. Sometimes, its not you,
its PEOPLE !

Yes @tuesy, I need to take into account what you said. I previously had decided to disconnect. This urge made me to text, I need to raise my control level.
Thanks @tuesy for hearing my story.

People out there are paying heavily for some time of a doctor and here I’m getting it for free! 🙄

I really hope that you wont get weak from now on- for that girl !
Hahah, don’t boast it, i will charge you then 😉

@sanket
What kind of music do you listen to ?

There’s no specific type @tuesy, mostly simple and soft songs

I can tell one thing, I like the instrument Dholak so much, whenever I listen to any song I like to catch the rhythm of Dholak or percussion instruments used in it. I find these instruments fascinating. I have used to play the beats on the wooden drawer, I have practised many times

What’s your flavour?

Same with me, i like to catch the rhythm of bass .lol
Umm, i guess, it depends on my mood, but mostly i listen to Hollywood, always have been, right now, m very much vulnerable to hindi songs so i avoid.

Yea so it basically depends on my mood !!
I m into every kind of music whichever suits my mood, but i love G-eazy !

Vulnerable to hindi songs! Hmm sounds reasonable.
What comforts you in the night? Must be difficult to spend it these days…

Umm, i guess nothing,
I try to sleep listening to prayer everynight, but my mind , ugh- just don’t let me live even a single minute without thinking about him, and 98% of the time, my dreams are about him only.
But thankfully,
circadian rhythm- let me sleep eventually.
But when i wake up, i question myself- why can’t i just sleep more ? I do nothing these days- and I literally don’t know, how the days are passing !

Anyhoo, hows your mother sanket ? Better than before ?

I’m in the exact same spot tuesy. Her name, her face, either I’m doing my office work or I’m sitting and just thinking about all the useless stuff. It’s really tough to suppress this, super tough!

What all things can we try to get away from this??

Not sure how she is doing, seems quite fine to me. We have returned home on Friday and now she will do DNC, don’t know when.
You know she had a haircut in Pune and there was a whole new different glow on her face. She was looking damn beautiful there, uff!

Aww, i bet she did sanket 🌟
Well, your mother just gave the solution to both of our problem i guess,
a little change is needed and its very much helpful actually, sometimes- when we change a little thing in ourselves- we feel good.
And i am thinking, you guys didn’t even had that relationship kind of bond yet you adore her so much and miss her.
I was sleeping with him, we shared each and everything, our bodies , brkfst, lunch and sometimes dinner- we would go to mall and movies, even studying together and then we would go to some hill station - for maggie and tea, we even went to Mumbai together, met his friends, sister and brothers had lunch with them 2-3 times, went to shimla with them, we did so much stuff together- so much uncountable little things !!
bs shaadi honi baaki thi !
-for whole 5 years, we did this!
All those years, i had picture my life ONLY nd ONLY with him and his family.

I have shut down my snapchat- i have no courage to open it ! not even my insta account ! Because its filled with our images and those messages ! Ugh !
My heart literally dies a little when i think about those routes we went through , my colg area and everything- I can’t explain the feeling !
It’s beautiful yet very painful !

Ok, i guess i went off the track here !
Answering to your question, i guess, we cannot just eliminate this feelin or whatever in the blink of an eye, and it won’t even go, no use of suppressing this either!
I guess we just have to wait till it get faded ! And it will eventually!
The frequency of happening these events will reduce eventually !
Till then- we just have to embrace whatever comes in our way and have to trust the process.
Also, a little effort must be done to do what we love and explore ourselves- i guess there’s no use in making efforts in getting rid of those feelings , because we shouldn’t even drive our energy not even a little- towards them- whether positive or negative!
So yes, give direction to your energy!
And a little change, like your mother herself, it can be very helpful you know, changing just a little thing, be it your looks or your routine- ticks our brain .

Ok so- he again told me- according to him, this is the right decision-
“not marrying me”
So, a person, to whom his decision is VERY MUCH RIGHT- he has no reason to get sad.
Haha, i mean nothing to him sanket !!
My presence or absence has no effect whatsoever !

You didn’t go off track, you just started those amazing moments again.
Hey, in those moments, in that whole relationship, you had put your energy and efforts. Preserve those efforts and energy in you, down the line another person will enter your life and it should not happen that because of your past you are not able to get along with the other person. I know you kind of have eww towards guys but don’t let this one affect your future chances. Yes, keep experiencing this pain too, when the future whatsYourName? will see the current whatsYourName?, she will smile :)

Regarding the change, why don’t you open new accounts, have a haircut, go have a night out with your friends, do those girly things, flaunt your beauty, you will feel better too? A Female’s beauty is too poisonous though, the deadly one!
Don’t completely shut yourself, this will leave no space for you to breathe. Keep your mind involved with your friends, keep having good food, this mannequin will soon become an active and cheerful person.

Recently I read that NEET is gonna be held in September, so you know what you have to do. Still here to bug you for this :P

Then why don’t you make your presence/absence matter @tuesy?
Take the revenge, make him fall for you and don’t give any attention, he will regret leaving you 😈
Just kidding, taking revenge will not suit you, you are a good person.
Why does “how your presence/absence matters to him” bothers you now? I has been clear with his mindset so a

*so its not worthy to stress on it

Yea- i like that part- whats your name- i had to read it thrice before I understood its meaning 😂
Simple and very common and very popular in movies name- “Simran”
Its true, I haven’t been to anyfun place because of corona and i dont know if my parents will allow me to go outside, moreovr no place has been opened yet ! Lot going on with friends too- i just have myself these
Months !! But yes- thanku for cheerful thoughts 🌟
Yea NEET most probably will be held in September.
Uff, not even doing anything for my exam and everyone else is studying.
I have no motivation or discipline whatsoever in me right now 🥲

There’s no situation of revenge here in this case.
He is happy without me.
If he has already DECIDED that not marrying me will be best for both of us ( yes he decided my part too ) then revenge has just lost its meaning. Also, in my senses, i would always want Him to be happy, but m not in my senses - so- i think bad sometimes.

Tell me something @ sanket !
Why does this bothers me so much, when i see videos on “how it will be alright and how you will move on” it
makes me wonder, he must also be doing the same
Thing ( which he had already done actually) then it makes
Me go crazy and my heart fills with jealousy and insecurity that he will be okay too with me NOT in his life, and how on earth is that Okay ?
Well, he has flown far away from this “ move on” stuff.
He is like,
“ move on? From what “
That kind of level you know !

I feel as if its rude and very disrespectful when you try to make other person fade away from your life, where you were so much attached that we just didn’t get official tag of marriage !! That close !
Why do i feel as if MOVE ON means disrespecting that person and those years and that feeling that love ?

Also he had sex with a prostitute whn i was crying my eyes out !
Makes me wanna scrape my skin off of my body !!
I feel as if i wanna lock myself up just because he has touched me !
Ok too much stuff, i hope m not too much.
Let me know !

Is it your real name? I doubt!

Yeah, friends are meant to ignore and ghost (that’s what my recent experience says). Even if am ready to listen and talk to them, they just ignore :(
Well, we can share our things here!

Why do you keep relating with the physical intimacy? It was his decision to have with another woman, why is this leading to self-hatred? In the past, maybe he was really into you, but as the reality started coming in he was/is not able to face it? And just to have casual fun & to release stress he met another woman? Why are you punishing yourself for his actions?

Those videos and stuff will bother you and will keep bothering you because you had you 100% into your relationship. You care about it, it is precious to you. In your eyes, you still value it and it will not fall within moments. It took months of efforts to make your relationship a beautiful moment of your life. It will take several months to neutralize its value.
You don’t have to feel low because he left you. Actually, it’s his loss, you have been sharing things with a complete stranger, you are consistently asking his whereabouts, you were ready to sacrifice all your things for the ex-partner, not everyone has such qualities @tuesy. He lost a good partner I guess and should feel happy that you have saved yourself from all the future drama that would have occurred between you and his family if you guys were married. You also have saved the tension that your parents would have got.
You have great qualities, great potential. Your life is quite good, don’t feel sad for the guy who cannot stand for his partner, even a bit. You need to focus on the other people which are currently present in your life, your studies, and more importantly yourself.

Regarding the name, I don’t mean that you are lying it’s just that Dr Simran sounds simple too me :D
Something like Avantika or Sharon or Shanaya would sound so intimidating

Also, how about we plan something for you? A good quality time alone? Or what can I do for you?

Well, yes, its my real name and it is THE ONLY simple thing about and in me. 🙃
Yes you are right with everything you just said, maybe i feel guilty of having physical intimacy with him because- it was so much important to me- not doing it before marriage- and it just sort of happened ! So its like- will never get that back - the feeling i was supposed to get from my partner- I didn’t and also considering the indian scenario- i am scared too bcz i messed up and God knows if someone will reject me bcz of that !
It was great but i messed
Up my own life !! And it was important to me but hardly respected my own decision!

What can be done ?
Umm, yes i do want alone time- like a lot of alone time- i want to shut my mind off for just a bit !
I really want to study, but i spend my whole day just as a sitting duck !
I am not able to answer this to myself- why am i bothered about the fact that i am not important in his life now ? And his involvement with some other girl- i mean that was like over the rooftop for me because his sex with her totally reflected that how much MOVED ON he is !
I mean nothing to him !

Why is it important to me- that i should be important to him ? I mean why am i bothered about the fact, that he dont tell me everything now, and he is already okay with each and everything!
Then what the hell and where the hell is live and those feelings , when anybody can just move on like it was nothing ??? How is one supposed to measure ?
He is just on his own - a whole human being , how ??
How can he just go on ?
How is he not bothered?
Uff 😵😵

He simply said- “ kuch time lgega bura, fir hojayega theek”
Wtf ? When somebody dies, we move on - we do eventually!!!
NOW THAT IS OBVIOUS !!!
Whole point was to fight for each other and make it work !

And i am a punjabi girl, simran name is quite common among punjabis !
We hardly keep these kinda names !🤓

Well regarding the name, I pictured you as a girl who belongs to a quite modern and adaptive family. The reason behind this is you pursuing masters in medical, your dad coming in to say good night, you being open with your family regarding your breakup, all such minor details lead to such kind of picturization. Hence I thought you got some fancy name, Vanshika is also a nice option ^.^

Ok now relating this picture to your concern, the concern of belonging to an Indian family and being Intimate with your partner only. First of all, I’m not disrespecting you or your thoughts by any chance nor am I trying to counter you. I know virginity matters a lot to females and this may also lead to complications in your future life. So what if someone rejects you based on your virginity? Haven’t you rejected anyone in your life? You know, what is the biggest advantage you have got? Your gender. Girls these days literally have every power in the world. These days it’s very difficult for males to find a partner, males are more insecure than females these days. Plus you are well educated, you are good at heart, you have every potential and you will be able to build a very cheerful and strong relationship provided you put the similar or more efforts than your recent relationship. Please don’t overthink about your virginity @tuesy. What if you find another partner by yourself? This time with real commitments and a loyal person?
I don’t know how your ex is doing and what his thoughts are and what importance he has for you. But I do know that you will eventually get a hold of this and there’s a more cheerful and caring @tuesy waiting in the near future, the journey is tough but you will surely meet her if I’m lucky enough I will get to know her soon :P

I would like you to take out at least 20 to 30 minutes per day. In this time you will be doing activities which you will never do again in the whole day. You will have to wait for the next turn. These activities can be a walk, calling a friend, having some junk food, playing games online, writing a letter/email to someone, learning hair cuts, clicking pictures, abusing someone. I would also like to hear your ideas! @tuesy

@tuesy This might be demanding or maybe not the right time, but can you help me with something?
There was a post to which I have replied, and now am not able to understand the context of the problem what the person is trying to say here or maybe that person is just making fool of me. Can you have a look and let me know your thoughts, please? I have posted the screenshots on a google doc, you can access them via the link below, uh not any scam link, just taking your help because I’m not in touch with any other person and I really want to know what is that person trying to say.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d6XUu82gIzHF8S91jLc5vNc532VdKoWvlLvFMa-YQtQ/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks.

Uffff @sanket
I m feeling so dumb honestly 🥲cuz I really didn’t understood the context ! 😅
First of all, she wasn’t even clear on her part, like- for what she was askin the help?and definitely didn’t even say anything regarding her problem !
I read it 3-4 times, I seriously didn’t get it !
Care to tell me what you extracted ? That was one hell of a confusing chat, maybe thats why she tagged “confusing”

What are you inclined towards? What is the ‘only’ thing ? 😂
Sory- but that was very confusing.

I do’nt know, am feeling dumb too. I dont even know if that person is he or she. First I though their partner is not good enough in bed or they want more. Then I thought its suffocating for that person to be in the marriage. Then I thought they are inclinded towards same sex. Now I think there is something more out of my knowledge

Also, have posted few suggestion above. Do you require more time to think? Willing to hear your ideas…

But m glad you wanted me to see that- thanx for trusting me here 🌟

Okay so, answering the previous context-
Your picturisation is quite correct here. I am very much grateful for my family , my parents are very supportive.
I am fancy enough, stop giving me names now 😂

About rejections, hardly got proposals to reject 😅but i will never reject a person just bcz of virginity but yes, his actions will matter - meaning- if he had many sexual partners or relations of such kind- then that’s definitely a big NO !
And what kind of girl power ? I didn’t quite understand !

About finding a partner- i would like to becz m not a big fan of arrange marriage dont know why, i guess there is much more involvement of
“ responsibility “ kind of stuff and partners are not very open with each other- i mean - as far as i feel- there is a fear of JUDGMENT! I can go on and in about this- so i am gonna stop right here !

Well, hope to get lucky enough to be that @tuesy soon !😌
And yes you will 🌟

Okay, good list of activities and yes, very nice idea- that i would only get to do that for 1/2 hour !
I was thinking- if i can think about him during this time only and not every fuckin time !
Exercise, dance, learn guitar, practice driving, relaxing - listening to music, read a book, getting facial, journaling !

Ok , you did great thinking, cuz i got nothing 🙃

Sorry, net is slow !

You would like to search for your partner by yourself, you have a supportive family, you are quite modern, then why such drama of being in Indian society and stuff? Why such shitty drama? 😤
There should not be space for such thoughts. Now I doubt you as well!

Anyways, no journaling and reading a book, or something similar stupid cliche things you will do in those 30 minutes. You are not that broken to do such things. Put a strike on music and dancing too, these can be done any time in your day and wait what “thinking of him for those 30 minutes only”, are you serious? This is what you wanna do? Disappointing yaar…

So my ideology is to involve you with the outer world rather than sitting and overthinking all alone. You have mentioned a very nice thing above “Driving”. If you can drive then go out and drive for some time, if you can’t then learn to drive. While learning you may crash into someone and injure them and then your doctor skills will come in, you will be tested thoroughly (I know am smart 😁), just kidding, but driving will be good, calling a friend sounds good to me, having junk food with your brother, inviting your friends to play badminton with you, help solve issues of your brother, or play doctor doctor?😆

These are only my thoughts sanket, world doesn’t revolve around me now, is it?
Parents are supportive but it doesn’t mean that if they will get to know about me not being virgin, they won’t act!
They might wanna die!
Indian parents after all, and you are dealing here with Me and My thoughts, in fact world around me- is totallly different as compared to my own thoughts. And I would like to find my partner on my own. Bcz I think it will be easy for me to share everything bcz in arrange marriage, there’s gonna be lot of questioning and finger pointing!! That’s just our tradition to say good night before going to bed.

Yea you are right.
I Will consider the ideas you mentioned. They are good.
Doctor-doctor, seriously? 😂
I used to play when I was a kid - with a doctor set.
Nowadays children don’t play such games. Don’t know why. 😗

You are funny though 😁

Sorry for the arrogance @tuesy, I understand, your thoughts and the actual reality around you may not be always the same, sorry. 😔

For now. let’s not talk anymore about your ex or issues related to your relationship. For the coming days, I want you to do something that is highly valuable to you and you are communicating with the outer world, do I have your affirmation here?
From tomorrow, I want you to take 30 minutes from the day and do the thing that you will get to do only in those 20-30 minutes. We will speak again on weekends, so you have 3 days in hour hand, so I expect you to spend time at least for two days, is that doable @tuesy? Eventually, I will also accompany you by starting to spend the time, this can be the opportunity for a change in my life too. Not pressuring you by any chance, you don’t have to even answer me for this, all you have to do is answer yourself and start doing it.

Shall we meet on Saturday? Discussing how your rest of the week went and what did you do in the alone time?

Yes to all your questions.
I would love to.
See you Saturday 😊

Good evening @tuesy :)

Hi @sanket 😀
How are you ?
Hows your mom ?
And hows everything else ?

I’m ok. Mummy is good too.

The other day I was reading a post where a guy was complaining about this website because his post was taken down due to strong usage of words. In this thread, there are potentially strong words or adult words used too. What if you get a ban or the thread gets deleted?

Well, i guess, then it will be deleted ! So what ?
I will be more careful with how i put my anger i guess 🙃

How does your anger tone sound like? I was unable to guess it, just curious? Do you even get angry? 🤔

If YOU dont know , then GOD help me 😅

Well for me it’s tricky to identify a person’s emotion behind their texts. I remember only 1 easy in which anger was reflecting, that was a serious essay.
Although can I tell you how I have perceived you so far?

A straightforward, full of energy, and caring person. You will infuse all your energy & emotions in the things which lie in your world, also you are a soft person who will indeed help others if required. An outgoing person, you have that positive aura and responsible enough.
How precise I’m?

I am straight forward and i hate those people who even speak indirectly !
Well okay, i guess i will give you 8/10
I am not responsible- NOT AT ALL ! You should have figured it out by now 😅

Woah 8 is the best score that I could have achieved here! Well given the interaction that I have had with humans, it’s way more than I could have thought 👻

So coming back to the original concern, ready to listen about that alone time, what all you have done? How happy I’m supposed to get after hearing it? It’s Tuesday today @tuesy, hoping to hear quite a lot of good things 😄

Hehe 😉
Frankly @sanket, i just started praying everyday now.
That is it.
Other than this, there’s nothing good, i wanted it to be, i have never felt so much useless and down in my life ever, i dont listen to songs- bcz they dont make me feel good anymore- not even
G-eazy ! And u have my exam in September first week, approx 50 days left, and after so many opportunities(neet pg being postponed 2-3 times) , i failed to uplift myself and never disciplined myself to just keep going on 😭
And now m depressed as ever ! My parents are gonna get disappointed LIKE WAYY TOOO MUCH !!! Because i had whole last year, and 8 months of this year-
Which is like more than enough to even get into govt hospital. @ sanket , and i am at that point, where i dont even know if i will qualify !!
I have let myself down COMPLETELY 😞

Aray re re, I thought we had a deal, sad. No worries, it’s really hard to have the energy to invest in, after going through a rough time. That’s the impact of the disturbance. You haven’t failed, you just haven’t uplifted yourself till the point which feels satisfying to you. At present, you are qualified enough to get a job and soon you can run your house on your own.
Now since you have completed your bachelors recently it shouldn’t be a problem to get back in the grinding the books mode. Let’s figure out how to get there? Let’s start rising again! How about studying in collaboration?

And what about “meant to be” by babe rehna? You suggested me this one I remember.
Now I wish to suggest to you a song which will give you that sweet pain 😇

Yes i am eligible to do job but I didn’t just because i wanted to do pg, but the postponements and ex case- i dont know how i went so dumb and dull sanket.
And i am not able to find my groove back.
In April i was being thnkful for postponement and felt NOW I WILL DEFINITELY DO IT !
But i lost my mind again to uncertainty!!! And ended up wasting whole 2.5 months and 7 days. And i am losing it now, usually i try to keep myself calm bcz I can’t study till i believe in myself, and i have lost the WHOLE SENSE OF ME !!! I dnt even know if it makes sense to you !
I dont study good in collaboration 😕 but thanx for suggesting.
I am sorry, i guess i ruined your aura. You sounded very cool and happy and i tried to get excited, that i will talk to sanket about that half an hour activity but i just couldn’t get myself indulge into anything. I feel nothing sanket !!! 😢

So sweet of you sanket 🌟
Its bebe rexha .
Ugh, but it doesn’t apply here, becz God help those who help themselves and i have no sincerity or whatsoever !!! I planted the thorns for myself here, ofcourse the pain and guilt i feel is “ meant to be “
Lol.

Are you going to suggest some song ?? Sorry i didn’t get it 🤔

It’s okay, I was ready to face this too. I may have hyped you too much and in the excitement you made commitments, on the other hand, I too forgot that how hard it can be. I can say I’m dealing with 20% of your pain yet I find it hard, yours is way out of my understanding.
I also tried to check with your studies in regular intervals if you remember, it was a try to keep reminding you. No worries, if I come across any more idea I sure will share with you. I was an average kid so I don’t what ideas will come across 😅

Ah, I don’t know the name of the artist, mismatch there perhaps

Yes, I wish to suggest a song that will give you more pain 😁. Evil.
So the thing is I used to listen to the radio a lot during office days. One day I was scrolling through the radio channels to and the English channel was in the middle somewhere, there was this song playing already and I heard its beat/music. Found it so mellow, I just remembered few words from that song. At night searched it on youtube and soon I used to listen to it every day 3-4 times in the night while returning home. At around 9 PM, Mumbai Local fully crammed, and there I’m enjoying this song. Only reason was/is that it reminds me of her somehow. While writing this listening to it second time continuously and gonna play it for third time for sure 🤗

Doctor Simran please affirm that hiccups occur when someone misses you. I would have definitely annoyed her each day with hiccups. I wish.

Hey, all good? It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you.

Hi @sanket
Hello, my mom wasn’t well, had diarrhea and weakness, i was busy in kitchen and other things- whole day, now she is somewhat stable. Also my brother had fever 🥵
Very hectic days - these last 3-4 days .
My days were like- wake up- went straight to kitchen- do work- then bath and eat brkfst-
Then work work work- at night- just sleep !

Ok- answering to your previous chat-
You haven’t told me the name of the song 🤔
Haha- ok i affirm, that hiccups do occur WHEN somebdy miss someone 😉

How have you been sanket ?
Hows your mom ?
Hows your work ?
Hows the things at home ?

Good to know that you are busy taking care of family, for once I thought you had a breakdown, phew that’s not the case 😪
I can commit to the kitchen to work, but the only thing I hate is the heat. Here it’s too hot and is annoying to work with food in such conditions maintaining hygiene feels next to impossible, during the winter season I can work easily :) Lol, out of context!

Your family will be feeling proud to have such skilled personnel with them, nice.
Handling the house is tiring, isn’t it? And in the night going to bed feels so peaceful and relaxing @tuesy 😇

Am doing okayish. Mom is having her problems, she is taking medicines constantly

“Me and your ghost” is the song that I was pointing out earlier.

Blackbear nice 👌
I liked the song.
Downloaded it already!
Very true sanket, just because of the heat, its very annoying!!
But in winters, the cold just doesn’t allow me to come out from the quilt 😹
Yes ofcourse, its tiring, afterall, its a great responsibility.

Is your mother still experiencing same symptoms after medication?

See, you recognize the responsibility of running the house and handled it nicely, still such drama haa, nautanki 🙃

Yeah, she is, bleeding, some weakness, dizziness sometimes. Could you tell me if the other tension/issues can worsen her problem?

Hahaah nautanki 😹
Vaise, i can be anything but m very far from nautanki .
I just know, i dont love myself i know this much… ugh

Umm sanket, this is totally pathological, nothing conservative as such. But yes, stress always wins , keep her away from anxiety, good food and good sleep, less tea, don’t do any kind of heavy lifting or exercise stuff.
I guess, she should consider other options too.
Isn’t removing uterus a good option to her ? bcz this way, she is suffering much !
M sorry if i crossed any lines here, just wanting to know your opinion too!

Na na, you aren’t crossing lines, I appreciate your help.
She has reduced her workload a lot, mom does not like maids but we now have one, she only cooks now. Tension is something that will not go away, a kinda deadlock.
She is consulting an old gynaecologist, he initially suggested trying medicines, which could be effective and she was against the removal too. Today he said cleaning the uterus could be an option but if it’s still not useful then removal is the last option. So mummy may visit this doctor again for the removal on Friday. Not sure though. She was talking about DNC this all-time with her relative, so if DNC=removal then yeah this Friday she will do it.

How far? Be one yaar, ladkiya nautanki nahi karegi to kaun karega?
Why such words @tuesy? What makes you feel so?
You know self-love sounds selfish and rude to me. It’s a sugar-coated way to represent loneliness.

Oh okk, Yes that’s great advice, trying out med first.
DNC is cleaning only,i really pray that she be good afterthis. But incase, if she dont, removal is not bad as it sounds- for women- removal of uterus is like- removing all the possibilities of things that could go wrong with women’s health ! Uff, i dont know if it sounds meaningful at all !

I am such a dumbo sanket, lol. I don’t appreciate myself. Never did. Sarcastically just say things so as to hide from limelight !!
Hahaha, rude, umm maybe its sugar coated. But a little selfishness is necessary too.

Makes sense @tuesy, you have said it in very simple terms and is understandable.

Oh now I get it, you are the person who likes to be very conservative and secretive, won’t share your thoughts easily with anyone, is it so?

For me, love & affection is always meant to be felt from others and make them feel so, this concept is a coverup for me.
Coming back to the original concern, I have pictured you as a friendly person and now you are saying something else, confusing!

No its not like that,
I am a bit conservative person , i have discovered that i lack confidence and don’t appreciate myself.
These two are my biggest enemies.

And frankly sanket, i still can’t believe that you are not a social person. You seem to be a very active guy.

Self-appreciation is a kind of pseudo confidence booster, one does not have to always appreciate themself, I mean are these things - self-love, self-appreciation, self-gratitude are even meaningful? I find them deceptive.

And it’s not you, it’s the breakup who is speaking all such things. I still believe that you are a friendly and caring person. Being conservative is ok, each one is these days. You will find yourself confident again, full of joy and active, some time is required though.

I am not a social person, would you believe you are the person with whom I’m talking mostly in recent times? I mean excluding the team members with whom I try to have a chat during a work call, apart from that, no one! I these days spend more time here on this site, sharing my thoughts on a couple of threads, the other day I got into a quarrel, more likely an argument 🤐

Notice: Nothing said above is for attention…

Yes, i get it why you think of them as deceptive.
Sometimes i do too , seriously !
But i think, if i speak for my case, i used to just follow others and think of their decision as a superior one, over my own instincts and belief. Long story short, in these kind of contexts- i believe that one should do that “self thingies”
Hahahah, you get into a fight ? How is that ?

No- nothing attention seeking, cmon !

Would you believe, you are the only person here whom i talk to !
I have become so lazy that, i dont even read other threads 😵

I have been solo for my whole 25 years, on the other hand, you have been with people hence the difference between our thoughts for the Self-thingies is fair enough.

It was not exactly a fight, I will say argument from the other end and debate from my end.
I can share the link to that thread and you yourself can have a look at the comments. You open to pass your thoughts as well! Judge me, it’s all good. 🙂

https://nowandme.com/anyone-here-on-boys-who-believes-that-both-OwGx1Dptv

Ufffff 😂😂😂
Such a long argument it was 😂😂
You know sanket, i have been feeling demotivated and uninspired since 2-3 weeks.
And i dont know what to do about it 😣
Yesterday, exam date got announced, its 11th sept.
50 days only- still m not able to picture anything or have even a little faith in me to start studying, these two are my pillars to start working hard, but i am just blank.

And i am not judging you, somehow, i agree with you- at some points and that girl too. But yea she was arguing actually, was not a healthy discussion.

Maybe your way of saying things- sparked her more. 🤔
Or maybe she was really just angry( a bit) to even see or accept anything.

I guess we should not get into that argument, I mean I do not have enough knowledge to contribute to such topics so I need more exposure here.

Sept 11 ha, so now I will start poking soon @tuesy be prepared!

It’s okay @tuesy, don’t feel sad
How are your mother and bhai?
Somewhere in these 4-5 days, you may be got exhausted because of a sudden increase in work and other stuff? How about taking a rest of 2 days in which you sort out your other minor stuff, have a little chill, start planning for the exam, gathering all the books, notes, etc which is required.
Spending 2 days to gather energy for the next 45 days is affordable right?

Yea right…
Yes they both are fine now.
Sure ping me anytime you want.
Btw, when is your bday sanket ??

Is this your bday month? 🤔

Or shall I expect something on my doorstep on my bday?😀

😂 no you should not
No its not my bday month

Its his bday month

Aww, so are you gonna wish him?

Yes and I’ll even send him a cake. 😌

Wow, that’s a sweet gesture.
May I know the feelings behind this gesture?

Ufff, dont know whats wrong with the site !
Everytime i try to click on reply - the page will just reload.
Frankly i also dont know the feeling ! I just want to get it over with ,i guess !!
Gesture highlighting, that he was a big deal to me and maybe trying out friendship thing.

Can I warn you here? You may feel low again after sending him the cake and wishes. If you can control all your emotions and keep no expectations while sending him, that would be great!
That’s so sweet of you, I would be glad if you don’t get hurt again.

Yes sanket, i know i will be hurt- but that would be because of- he wont be telling things to me like he used to. Thats gonna hurt me the most.
But its sweet of u 🙏
Nd also i hate you, cz m listening to blackbear continuously 🙈

Let me know how it goes, will be glad to hear it :)

Aw, nice to see you having that sweet pain! 😇

Yea sure !
Writing on the wall- french montana
I like its beat ! Do listen .

Btw, you didn’t tell me your bday ? Is it a secret ? 😅

The song was more like a banging head on the wall to me, fancy visuals though😁

There’s no reason to not saying it, it is on 18 November, yours?

Hahahah visuals!
Mine 19th sept

Yea video was funny, hhaah.
alright, so i hve clearly different taste in music 😂

Well I do not have any taste in music, I rarely listen to songs, and the ones I listen to, I run them in the loop, single song for 2-3 times

Two events lined up for you!

What events ??
Also, m missing him a lot tonight !!
His bday is coming up- and we don’t talk much. And how we used to celebrate our bdays and all the planning like newly weds- m so fu*ked up rite now by those memories 😕

Well, we can celebrate yours?

Exam followed by your bday

TBH, I feel nothing for these birthdays and anniversaries, I would like such days to be skipped from my life. I always end up being sulky

Yea
Oh really ? Well, to me, it really matters if someone who loves me, just smile with his whole-heart . That makes my day.
Umm,i dnt get very excited about these events but also, not this negative that i would want to remove these days.
But i guess, I totally get you.

@sanket
Its his bday today, and i am crying, all i can think about is- how priorities change sanket.
He was a big deal to me and to him, just a timely fellow, jo bas zindagi mei aagyi aur abb itni important nahi hai.
Thats wat it is !!
Like a wave- high in colg, low
Now, even negative 🥺
It eats me Sanket, that i was THAT KINDA PERSON to him, “with situations and time, people come and Go” that kind !!
But for me- i want Him for lifetime 🥺
What is wrong with me ?

Priorities haven’t changed @tuesy, they are just redefined. Earlier you were the important person in his life, now your absence has taken the place of your presence. Indirectly you are associated with him.
“What is wrong with me?” - NOTHING, I repeat nothing is wrong with you. You are facing a huge disturbance in your life and this will definitely cause trouble, whatever is happening with you is natural and you will have to face this, each day until you reach that point where this will have next to no impact on you.

I heard from someone once - “In such scenarios, we tend to think about the negative part more, why it has happened to me, why it ended so quickly. We forget to think about what’s next, how do I cope with it?” The same has happened/happening with me, similarly, I’m seeing this for you. Somewhere I also feel the above words are too cold and rough, we aren’t machines - after pressing a button we will immediately start thinking in a different way. No, we have our emotions, we require our own time to heal. So do not question yourself, cry, burst out, go outraging, miss him, ask for help, it is all Okay. This pain is not going away anytime soon, you will face this again and again and it is natural, you need to experience this too.
Well, he is with you for the entire life, his memories to be precise, you and his ghost ^.^

Hi @tuesy, all good? Kaisi hai?

Uffff thankGod sanket.
As i have told u before , this site keeps on relaoding whenever i click on reply button 😣😣😣
Seriously Thank God !!!
Ok,m doing okay ! Trying not to overthink.
How are you doing ??

You left me curious there, bhai kaha ho tum? Kya chal raha hai?
Doing okay sounds bit confusing, how are you?