I want to run away and start a new life . It sucks to be stuck in a place. 

I have no idea but everyday it feels heavier and heavier . 
I have skipped 2 days meal and sleeping just for 3-4 hours and that's it 🥺

Let go of device and go outside breath and talk to stranger

That's how i feel, the people and atmosphere where you live can be Very draining. Just starting fresh and going somewhere knew brings Light

Delusion

I keep worrying over things that are unlikely to happen.

Anxiety

Reached home after 60days , overwhelmed 

3am Thoughts

Knowing that you love your life and still gonna make it messy?? 😅

I am having a very hard time right now with just everything in my life. I am unable to express my true feelings to anyone, even those I trust most. People often have high expectations of me because of what I have done in my past but, for me, it is very overbearing. I feel like I am drowning right now financially, emotionally and more and I can't let anyone know cause if I do I'll let them all down and if I let them down I am a complete and total failure. I am struggling with the loss of several of my close relatives and I am on the verge of tears constantly though no one seems to notice. Furthermore, anytime I even try to say anything to anyone this subject or otherwise they cut me off, change the subject, or ignore me completely. I'm just really struggling right now. 

Other

One of the best positive affirmations for me is 
"Be restless throughout your life".

Affirmations

This is the time when i start thinking about whatever happened to me in the past i keep on overthinking about things which i know will never be alright. Im the one who is always there to make everyone feel so happy , but when it comes to me everyone leaves , someone i trusted so much , thought that person would be there for me but when i needed him the most he left me.. . I dont know what to do.. i have so much pressure .. family problems, got no friends, etc .etc.. i just want to be happy.. I dont even remember when was the last time i was happy.. Not even a single night has passed without me crying.😔😔But still at the morning i pretend like nothing happened and make everyone happy.


Breakup

Hey, joined this platform today. Hoping some light on my issues! 
I am in a dump. I had a terrible break up. It has been 2 yrs, almost. Everything still feels ugly. I have turned into this unhappy person who is cluless about her own future. Always crying and cribbing. Family and friends have been a great support but this gripping feeling of nothing-will-change remains constant. 
I have career plans but I am not working hard enough for them, instead I am not working at all. Left my job 4 months ago. What really bugs me the most is why am I still stuck on the past. I know I must let go but it is not happening. 
All this stress has affected my health. I have developed several illness and I want to work on it but I am unable to! Always demotivated, stressed, sad, cribbing, zero self confidence, constantly dwelling over the past! How do you stop thinking about the trauma your loved one has caused you? 

I turn 30 early next year and this expectation of getting married is weighing me down. I am scared for the future all the more because I want a career, love and peace but I just don’t see it happening. 
Eveytime I feel I am moving on, something or the other brings me down. Just last week I heard he got engaged. I spent the entire week obsessing over different scenarios of me accidentay meeting him. This is so stupid. Society dictates that a woman of my age must act mature, bring myself together and move on. 
I REALLY want to do that. Feel normal again but it is not happening. I feel like shit. Used. Betrayed. Treated badly. Disrespected. Afraid that this will happen again. 
I’ll stop here. Message got too long! 


Thanks for reading. 










Depression is a mental illness that fucks with your mind, that becomes friends with your thoughts and slowly manipulates them...it tricks your mind especially the way you see yourself. It consumes you from the inside that slowly appears to show from the outside, it makes you exhausted...dull. 
Then you slowly start to feel anxious and your self-esteem starts to disappear, you feel self-conscious about your surroundings like itś the first time you´ve seen them. You feel like you can´t breathe like you are gasping for air, you start to realize that not only you have depression but the anxiety decides to introduce itself.
You are locked inside your house scared and anxious to leave, but relaxed and safe inside. But as time passes by you forget about the safeness and relaxation you felt..like it was never there, you feel stressed and pressured from what has become today.
When you forcefully take yourself out or your family takes you with them to buy the groceries, you feel everyone's eyes on you, you want to run and get as far as possible but can´t. The mask you wear makes you feel somewhat safe, but feel exposed at the same time.
One of the worst feelings is when you feel looked at while trying to gasp for air but have the mask on that doesn't let you, your mind goes black and can´t think of anything but the stupid manipulating voice in your head.
I feel overwhelmed and scared...
 

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