Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I used to have an online friend, he lived in my city itself . We were good friends can talk anything to him ,anytime. But he had feelings for me and told me that. He was a very sensitive and insecure guy, letting him down seemed very hard for me and I told him , okay. But I started feeling guilty next day onwards.and I can’t focus on my studies. Looking back I realized, he was manipulative and I was under his control and kept him in first place even before thinking about me. I wasted a lot of time talking to him and Dealing with his shifty thoughts like, life is pointless…and he wanted to be a singer, I want to be a doctor and currently in process of it , he once told me , Nothing is worth than being a singer, being doctor is only for money, only singers do live their life to the fullest and things like that. I realized how toxic and insecure he was. Then the other day I texted him saying, I can’t do this anymore and if my parents are gonna know they’ll lose trust in me. He told me to stop, but I didn’t. After almost one month he sent me a mail, I realized he was not okay, he was like a brother to me and I told him we can be friends like before , buy not relationship, he told me no , I can’t be friends with you " I can’t see you as a less important person " and a lot more like that…it made me confused and also my exam was coming, I was very frustrated when he send me that and I said fuck off . But once I cooled I talked to him and ended things. Also talked to him about exams and all. And I ended conversation after that. A flood is going on in our area and asked him if he was safe the very next day. He told me many things I didn’t wanna know and asked me why I texted. I told him just to ask if he was safe and nothing more. Then he told me , I’m not talking the way I used to talk and we can’t never talk nicely ever again. I told him I never came to talk. I never had feelings for him. I’m happy that he’s gone but don’t know why he was rude to me when I was so nice to him. It dont hurt me but I just wanna share all this with someone .