I think my life ain't gonna be better, i had my life through worst and I can't see it getting better

Exhausted

To my people who are sensitive, who are more perceptive to judgement, critique or confrontation, you are absolutely entitled to feel however you feel. You need to be supported and protected. Please dont be so hard on yourself, the world is hard enough.

Mental Health

Almost like taking a chance to end everthing.

Depression

Hi. This is completely new and weird to me since I am an introvert. I am also depressed. I do what other people say "self harm" but I call it healing because that's the only way I feel a little bit better. But I hate being depressed. It makes me feel weak... I try everything... Talked to my friends but nothing helps and I hate it and I want to end it but I cannot. I cannot control the depressing thoughts which enter in my mind. 
Depression has also made me a pessimist. I feel like no one is going to read this. Or reply back. 

I keep worrying over things that are unlikely to happen.

Anxiety

Passed another day doing nothing and just lying in bed. I feel sick from myself. I feel like I need a break from my mind, my body and this mess. I want to do things, I try so hard to get out of bed and do small tasks but I just cannot. I want to end it all, I tried but I failed. I don’t know what’s keeping me alive, maybe I don’t wanna die like this, sad, alone, without telling my story or maybe I don’t want to be the reason of my own death or maybe I don’t wanna disappoint my family even in my death. 
Sometimes I wonder, is giving birth to a child enough? Providing that child food, shelter and education is enough? Or does emotional support comes under necessity? I want to tell my family the reasons why I did certain things, I want to tell them my version of story. I’m tired of hiding and lying. I want to tell them, it wasn’t my fault. I want to them I need someone to listen to me just once. I want to tell them I’m all alone in this darkness for years, that I have no single person who’d listen to me. Either I get ignored by my friends or I’m too much for them. 

I wonder if I’d have to live like this my whole life, hiding my story for the sake of my family’s feelings and reputation? If after listening all those daily rants from my friends, I’d be able to get someone to listen to me? 

It’s a dark place where I am, seems like endless hollow space filled with demons of my nightmares and past. I’m tired of trying to get out of it. I don’t have the energy to try more. I’ve given up. Now it’s a long wait till it all ends and I’ll get free.

Finally things are better now and I feel relieved somewhat !


It’s just that starting to move on, not sticking with complicated things..

3am Thoughts

I am a depressed person. But as now I am seeing the world now. I see everyone is so grown up now a days, even younger people than me are doing good, atleast better than me. And I am just there and everyone is moving on. And gone do far away. I can't see I can stand with anyone in society or my classmates, cousins etc. I am just left behind. Still there where I was before lockdown or even worse. I find myself as a failure. Tho nobody say this, but I see in people's eyes they feel disappointed I didn't grew. I am not smart but dum* and innocent. Life is trash for me. I have nothing. It hurts me. It pains

Life

I want to go away from here......I'm not happy

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts