I think I may have to cut off connections with my best friend of over 14 years and I’m so scared I’ll be lonely. She was the person that I trusted the most in the world. The reason I may have to cut her off is that she keeps choosing a boy she likes over me and our friendship and even though I’ve talked and expressed how neglected I feel, she thinks she’s doing nothing wrong. She’s done this three times in a row and I find it extremely disrespectful towards me. So as much as my heart breaks I blocked her and soon as I’m prepared I’ll let her out of my life. Also I had my break up four days ago with a person I loved and was loved by but the only reason we couldn’t be together is my mental illness. We tried to make it work for one and a half year but this is what it’s come down to now. I seeked help and tried therapy for a few months but my dad stopped paying for it and threw out my antidepressants. I have major depressive disorder and manic depressive disorder coupled with severe anxiety and ADHD. I’ve lost all hope for life. Even though I know I will not kill myself, I know I’ll not try to live either. I’ll only be a breathing dead zombie.
They think depression is all in the head. My dad says antidepressants are drugs and I’ll get addicted and tries to assure me he’s doing the best for me. I know he’s not. I have fought a lot. I don’t have the energy to fight anymore.
I know you are going through a lot and I can just say that I am here for you and you can talk about anything to me.
Heyyy,
I won’t say that I understand how you feel or any of these comforting shit because I can’t understand how you feel. First and foremost, I want to say that I am so sorry <3. I really think that you shouldn’t just throw away all those memories and bonding you have with your best friend, even if it feels like she does. Pls promise me that you won’t. Don’t do the same mistake as I did. How long do you actually think her relationship with her so called boyfriend will last? One month, one year , two years WHATEVER. The point is that they will probably not last and I can tell that there is no way they are going to get married or have kids and etc. They will eventually break up and be bored of each other and you best friend who is now obsessing over a boy will understand how wrong she was. And trust me I can assure you that she will be begging you to be best friends again. She will eventually understand that it is not all about boys, she is just not mature enough to realize that yet, to realize how amazing you are and how much she is missing out. I have experienced a similar situation and I really need you to listen to what I have to say. I have known my bestie my whole life. Our parents were friends even before we were born. My best friend is a year older than me but we never really cared abt the age gap since it was small and I was mature for my age. We went to the same kindergarten and primary schools. Things started changing when it was time for her to go to middle school and since I was a year younger than her I had to stay in primary school for another year. Ever since she went to middle school I felt neglected cause she would be constantly hanging out with her new friends and I thought that she was ashamed to hang out with a primary schooler like me. Little did I know I was WRONG and I made stupid decisions like cutting her off my life. BUT HONESTLY, when I finally became a middle schooler I understood. It was that moment EVERYTHING was somehow explained to me. Because I did exactly the same things she did. Now, we are still middle schoolers and very happy and grateful to have each other. I shouldn’t have tried cutting her off cause that offended her… And I believe you shouldn’t do what I did. Also, about you mental illness, I can’t even describe how sorry I am. Stay strong baby is all I have to say. You have all my love and support and if you need anything I AM HERE . FOR . YOU. YES FOR YOU. I love you so muchhhhh…
If you are looking for a cool song to hear that will make you feel happy I recommend : "Someone To You " by Banners.
P.S if you reached through the end of my reallyyyy long and annoying message well done! You are a legend.
Love,
M.
