Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
I think almost all the parents are selfish. They bring a new life in the world just to have some playtime with them, have a support system in case they need money and out of traditional respect. And they think they own us in every way.
Simran @st1199
Hey!
What made you think this way?
Would you like to share?๐
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Yes I would like to share. It is kind of related to my previous thought: https://nowandme.com/hi-i-am-in-class-12th-first-of-Qn-qBdGqX
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I suppose it will answer your question.
Simran @st1199
I gave it a read.
So, I can feel somewhat about what you mentioned. Parents do not show interest or even if they do, they want to pursue what they believe we should. I fought with what I wanted rather by saying โyesโ to what they said when I was in 10th. But then they understood and even now if they arenโt 100% with me or my decisions career-wise or others, I actually donโt care because I know how to make a life for myself. They support me financially obviously being their child and wish the best for me and push and motivate me to do that but emotionally I have my friends for that and I myself is a big support system for myself. Hehe.
So, they do not need our money because they have enough to live a life. We as children have a responsibility to help them in their retirement as they are now when we arenโt earning. At least I feel this way and I am going to do it this way. Actually everything depends on parenting style and how they have lived their life, how they have grown, and if they are not open to the generation gap and learn, there is a higher possibility that they will do things which they did as a child and hence there is where we lack understanding.
Study hard to get a college outside your city. They obviously would want to send you into a Top college and if itโs outside they will let you go. Just try your best for that. I also did the same.
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Thanks for reading. What I have written below might look offensive. If you are a sensitive person, please donโt read further. Just a warning before you read.
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My parents have no savings. They just use up everything given to them. Due to Covid-19 and my mindset, it is not possible for me to get good marks. I have to lie a lot because they canโt keep a secret or understand why I did what I did. I am not saying all parents are the same but if they donโt understand us. We canโt forgive them just because they were brought up this way. If they brought a life in this world, we are their responsibility and they canโt pretend that they own us or we owe them. After all we didnโt ask for this life. In a way, we were forcefully given this life. And it is a taboo to take oneโs own life.
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Being said that, I am trying to cope up with the stress but if they deny me moving to another city, I donโt think I will be able to hold on.
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
If we help them in any way, it is our goodness. At least that is what I believe.
Simran @st1199
Killing yourself isnโt a solution. It doesnโt matter whether itโs taboo or not. Itโs not something one should be proud of doing.
You mentioned because of the circumstances you wouldnโt be able to score enough to get into Top, no problem, I understand, however, try your best so that you donโt regret it in the end. Start telling them that you wish to study out so that they have this thought in the back of their mind. Just bring it up often at the right time.
Nobody owes nobody. Maybe it could be your mindset saying this or a fact that your parents do it.
Some parents are not open to listening to what we offer to say, our emotions rather take that lightly and just speak what they want to. You actually canโt do anything unless you speak to them directly and make them understand and there are chances after that too they be the same. We need to have our own self and friends for us. You will figure it out eventually, I am sure. Letโs hope with a new year, we have things surprising us.
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Again thanks for reading. I didnโt say I was proud of ending my life. I am no way near saying that and I donโt think anyone is proud of saying that but yeah I donโt have anyone in my life to give priority over my problems so I donโt care what happens after I am gone. I am just saying if I am not let out, I donโt think I will be able to hold on to my life.
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Actually no, I donโt believe in โNobody owes nobodyโ. I just think that way only in parent-children relationships as I said โAfter all we didnโt ask for this life. In a way, we were forcefully given this life.โ Yeah but I will try to keep reminding my mom about my wish and if it goes my way (or something similar to my way) I will try my best to remember to tell you what happened. After all, you bore with me till now๐
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Happy new year in advance!
Simran @st1199
You have the right to think that way though I disagree on that.
Maybe talk to strangers randomly to feel good and you know there isnโt a liability to stay forever to talk. It will take your mind off from this.
Maybe try a Dating app for it, for some days and delete it. Or just go ahead with anything and everything you wanted to do this year.
Yes, please do that and do let me know!
Happy New Year to you too! ๐
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Remember me?
Simran @st1199
Hey!
Yes, I do. How have you been?
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Fine. Well as I said I will tell you what happened, I have paid the first semester fee of a university in another state but because of covid I donโt know when will the offline classes will start. I am just trying to hold on. How about you? How have you been?
Simran @st1199
Sorry for the late reply. Iโm good. Keeping myself busy with college and work.
Thatโs great, buddy! I hope you get to move to another state and enjoy college life to the fullest. Thank you for remembering and letting me know about the same. ๐๐
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
No prob. I guess itโs a nice thing that you are keeping yourself busy.
I donโt even know when the college will openโน๏ธ Whatever by the way why Now&Me stopped having weekly meet-ups?
Simran @st1199
You donโt tend to be busy with all the college workload?
Iโm no longer an official member of Now&Me, so not updated on whatโs going on. ๐
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Currently I mainly have to attend online classes only.
Why the change? I remember the last time I joined the meeting, you werenโt there and a lot of them was asking about you (Personally I was not a fan of the meetup but still)
Simran @st1199
I had my fair share at Now&Me and learned many things. Wanted to explore different things pertaining to my field, thatโs why left it.
Will always be close to my heart. ๐
Jafar Abbas @jafarabbas33
Oh nice