I need to talk to my best frnd abt it bt don't know how to do it 
 She left me alone on my very special day of my life 
I am unable to say how hurt I am.
Bt I can't explain her abt it 

Cheat??? No way 
My best friend left alone on my birthday"special day"
It hurts me alot thinking abt 
I am unable to confront her abt it 

Talk with her directly, instead of acting like this, she is your bestfriend there must be some reason because of which this happening, Be mature and talk with her without any hesitation and awkwardness see thats the beauty of bestfriendships be can say anything we want, be there for her, birthday can come and go bestfrd will not in addition uh can always celeb post bday ,right..!

Bt bro this is not the first time she has done like this 
Many times she cancles on me and goes out with other frnds 
It's not ok expect her to be with me on my birthday?? 

Confront her talk whatever is in your heart , i am sure if she is your true frd who understands uh then will definitely tell uh why she is behaving like this,, and still if not then just let her go on her own we cannot force someone to talk with us or be with us, dont let the negativity of the other affect you✌🏻

Thank you for your advice
I'll try to talk to her and save our frndship!! 🤗🤗

Current Affairs

Me and my boyfriend are in relationship from past 1 year we are in long distance, now in the starting he was making so much efforts and giving his energy, and also I was giving the same efforts, but now he has changed fr past 6 month, I'm sensitive at first when I get hurt he took care of me and now he just says like this is your own issue deal with it I can't do anything, whenever I say to give him energy or effort he make up some issue, he is having hard time but  giving his time since 6 month, I supported him in everything I stayed for him, but he left me everytime when I was crying, hurted. He says everything will be okay trust the process, how can I be anymore patience, I'm trying to learn him being good for this relationship I'm making compromise but never compromises, and whenever he wants something he get the way, and I can't see people hurt due to me, after every fight I'm the one who apologies, make it up, I want to have serious chat with me now what can I say that will give him some sense

Long Distance Relationship

I'm feeling alone....

Depression

Difficulty to understand/defificulty To talk/  Awareness/ selfdought/ racing negative Thoughts/ Unwanted sexual thoughts) phobia Dreams 

Alcohol

the fact that u have my mail and no. I am scared to share my story :(

3am Thoughts

Chal abh nahi aungi tere piche, tu hi dund mujhee!!! 

The boy i like the most he friendzoned me even deep down i know he has some feelings for me but idk why he is not accepting may be bcoz of caste he is Muslim and I'm hindu, after we both decided to be with each other as a good friend i think communication gap has developed, he is keeping himself very busy but from 3 may my internship will also be going to start 9 to 6 job, i don't know how I'll manage time and all I'm getting worrying that what if just bcoz of my time shift and work load will affect our friendship in any cost i don't want to lose him or i don't want even that he lose interest in me in this communication gap

Hope

songs are so powerful. it can really affects you. you can be happy right now, not until u hear slipping through my fingers playing. childhood really hits different. 

Memories

I used to be scholar kid in school but things changye during high school ...I used to get bullied and mocked and this affected my grades and everything. I lost a lot of weight, lost confidence , friends, got anxiety depression, low bp and and what not.
I got into n average clg somehow and life was pretry bad there too and I was living away from home that time it was horrible. I used to cry every night, I even ran away to home sometimes but my family would send me back......didnt have any friends and my family knew abt it but they would always put blame on me like all this happens because you dont wake up on time , or dont eat right, you are negetive or its in your head and all. 
I used to try so hard you know , I still try , counselor, meds, dietitian but nothing works. My situation is so bad. 
My clg ended during lockdown so I thought I would work on myself but I haven't achieved anything yet. I am so trumatized by school and clg so I decided I don't wanna go for higher studies and I would look for any job even if the pay scale is not that high but covid has made it difficult. I gotta start somewhere. I know my situation is not how it used to be when I was scholar but I have made my peace with it.
My siblings are really intelligent and they have their life sorted out , so just because my life turned out horrible they are always looking down on me , saying things like you won't be able to do anything in life , you are a looser , you just have one degree what are you gonna do or give me useless advices . Even my parents do that because they think I cant do anything.
 I have failed so miserably. I had such a bright future , i dont know what went wrong , why this happened to me. 
You know my school ended so many years ago and I still go through every horrible comment and incident that happened to me everyday. And same for college. I live through everything again and again. I try to distract myself but sometimes it just gets too much. I just want to know how it feels to be accepted , loved , to not be scared , to be at peace.
I dont even have anyone to share anything because when I did try I get such statements in return "you're so weak , you're sensitive, looser" 
Nobody wants me. I feel so sacred and alone.


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