Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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I miss you all. I never thought It’d hurt this much to say goodbye to everything I knew, I was so young and naive. The people I grew up with in my old hometown, the ones I spent more time with than my own family. That one kid whose life revolved around being a nuisance to mine, The kid who grew up in love with me and whom I rejected twice bc I thought he was just joking haha sorry for breaking your young heart. Those I met at that summer camp I hated, those that wormed up to me and comforted me after this one mean kid ripped my school ID from my backpack. Alex and Geroge whom I never saw again but never once left my side making sure I didn’t feel lonely, Alex changed so much lol, the first time we met he wanted to fight me I still don’t know what you (George) told him for him to change his mind and be so kind to me all of the sudden. You two, and especially you George, left a big impression and to this day I still sometimes think " what would those kids be doing right now? who did they become? are they alright" It’s crazy cuz it’s been like more than a decade. And onto a summer camp that I liked better, the dance camp, I met Carla there and she was a great friend, always there for me, someone who understood me and whom I also lost contact with after I left, I tried to find you on sns once but i couldn’t, but thank you for everything, truly. She wasn’t the only friend I made there, I made plenty, and they were all great company. School was weird but the place I miss the most now, I used to get bullied but I also met my best friend whom I used to fight with every single day until we would both end up crying and make a huge drama over it hahaha, a few times classes had to be stopped bc of us lol it was crazy and that’s why we were banned to be in the same class lmao. Anyway despite our chaotic relationship we shared great memories too, all the afternoon calls, the weekend of your bday when we almost got arrested bc we were falsy accused of stealing at a school supplies shop, we also got lost in the forest while filming for our youtube channel that all the kids at school used to watch during recess to laugh at us, you took it very seriously and the comments used to hurt you and I was just happy to get attention, you know me, I used to be full of confidence so I just thought " that’s cuz they’re our fans" ahh how I wish I could have that mentality again. And how to forget that one time that all the outcasts of our school( obviously that included both of us) decided to unite and make a club we used to call ourselves “the consonants” bc all of our names started with a consonant, funny right? That lasted a few months until we all drifted away bc there was always someone coming in late to the reunions ( it was mostly us lol) I joined this school when i was 3, we met at 6 and we left at 15, how could i get used to leaving my home of 12 years? The place I cried the most in, the place I laughed the most in, the place I felt in love for the first time, and for the only time so far, the school I met the most incredible person I’ve ever met. It’s a shame how our last year ended cuz it was a great year, I miss our homeroom teacher for year 10th, he was so kind and treated us like family, the only time i felt like i was favored by a teacher, all of our friend’s group was actually and that’s why other kids hated us so much, did you know that Elsa apologized to me? She texted me after we graduated to apologize for everything I went through, we started talking I forgave her and we are all good now. No one was as bad as i thought and there were some pretty cool people. I also miss the summers, running with my roller skates throught the suburbs, the swiming pool at that park, the bracaletes we used to make and sell at the entrance, yeah with that girl who pretended to be my friend, oh and that Shawn Mendes concert, the best day of my life indeed I’ve never once felt more alive than how i did back then. When me and my brother still got along and used to hang out in our room all the time and watch yt toghether before going to bed, the fireworks every 31st of Agust that made my eyes light up, the times spent at my granparent’s house that were the best part of the day… I could go on and on for ages, this is probably so boring to read for those who haven’t been in my life and read this with no context, this is only the bright side of it all so you can see that life can be beautiful even for someone like me who has truly had it complicated, someone who was ready to give up on everything but who’s still here bc is able to remember why life is worth living. If you look deep into your heart im sure there’s at least one memory that lights up a light in the mist of darkness.

2 replies

Pawan singh @pawin

You know carla castro mexico


No lol


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