Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I miss my mom. she passed away due to covid but my life’s still going on. i just want to take a moment of pause. i feel there’s too much burden on my shoulders rn. i started my college life in another city away from my dad and sister. i dont really miss them, although i love them a lot and they’re the only reason i wanna stay alive. but i really need my mom, she left me too soon and i really really need her.
college life is good but it isnt that great. im not satisfied. i feel so lazy everyday and i have zero motivation to complete my assignments. sometimes i get suicidal thoughts and i know that is not okay. idk how i’ll complete my second semester.