i miss him… not sure if he does. actually I am losing faith, ifeel so vulnerable and I am doubting everything… i have always been the person who is there for everyone but I never get back… and so many times I have let that go and forgiven people who don’t even deserve it first place, but after being so hurt and vulnerable i let this guy in, he gains my trust, says he wont ever hurt me or leave me, and leave me at a point where I needed him the most, 2 years we were together, I never thought this person would ever hurt me, and the bad part is, its just me suffering, and I still cant hate him, I still pray everyday for him to be happy and get what all he wished for… but I don’t know how to heal… i have no direction to go to… i am hating my career path, like i hate it so much, i lost all my friends because i made this guy my world, and now i am here, alone, with no one, not knwong what to do, feeling like running away to a strange place and get a new identity… is it so hard to love someone back after they put in so much efforts? affter giving everything they have, literally their soul, just to end up like this? why do i end up getting hurt after doing everything right and being v careful that i shouldn’t hurt anyone even unintentionally being so good, yet so quick to replace, so quick to forget… while my expectations is just to love me truly… and be honest… i don’t need gifts flowers gifts, just them too check up on me if i am okay, to give those hugs when i need it… to not feel so heavy and alone with a giant hole
Hey don’t feel so low and judge the world as cruel bcoz of few people. World is beautiful, you will get the love from others… first you need to stop expecting from someone who doesn’t give you the care. It’s difficult to imagine life without someone with whom we spent so much time together… but not everyone has good soul like you… it’s natural to expect the same from others but we need to accept not everyone has same wavelength of emotions as we have. Try to engage yourself in something else. Try to get back to old friends. Open up to them or even here also. Go out. Do anything which makes you feel lively. And try not stress too much about past. And just thing he wasn’t made for you… you deserve better… even though you will feel he was better in past but now he isn’t. Cheers that you got out in 2 years only. Didn’t wasted more time. People fall apart after 10 years too. Even I had a falling after 5 years… it’s difficult but it can be done… have faith in yourself and this world
thankyou so much for responding, its just been so difficult, he helped me before, and was there, and I was dependent on him after apoint and suddenly its not there… he was literally the best, idk what happened… its so funny that I don’t even know whta’s the reasons, due to this corona shit we were in a long distance, we tried for 11 months, but he said he couldn’t anymore, same guy he told he will do anything to not lose me, and who lucky he was to find me, and this didn’t change for 2 years… he was a fuck boy before we got back together, but when we were together, he was so honest and literally so understanding… but at the end he lied to me in last month… and ironically 2 years ago we clicked a picture which was really close to him, like it was his fav picture of us, and the same day today, he posted an ig story w girl which is so similar to our picture, i felt like i have been replaced… and it was so hard… a friend of mine asked him if they were dating and he said seriously? no and if she thinks that shows how well she knows me… am i taking this story too seriously? he told me i was his world, i was his everything, and he made me feel like that, his parents and siblings knew too, and i was his first gf… before me he never felt that connection, and he was honest about it… but how did it change? it’s been just 2 months that we’ve broken up…
People change… it’s the rule of world… and have faith you will also change and get out of this sooner. I had same 5 years of relationship… we dreamed and planned whole life together… marriage kids and all. Always there for each other’s. But in long distance we can’t get the real reason why they falled out. It can be any reason which you can’t fathom to understand… but now accept it that it has happened… you can never get the answer why this happened so try not to find that answer… just believe somethings are bound to happen… best suggestions I got was to read a book which gives new perception of life…
thank you so much, i was literally having the worst day… but being w people who are/ have gone through the same phase, and are okay now is so comforting… i just don’t wanna lose the good things and love for him… but I also don’t wanna get hurt… it’s better that I appreciate the good things and take this as a lesson :)
I think I can help you with it because I am a practicing Psychologist. Please remember that only thing I need is your trust.
And don’t want to detach you from anything.
But before it I would like to ask some questions about your problem.
What was the last time you meet with him/her?
Did you know what is going on in his/her life (I mean his/her personal life like disputes, family problems, financial problems or anything that might creates conditions like this)
Do you think he/she is cheating on you?
Do you still talk?
Have you ever faced something bad in your past from which you are comparing/judging him/her for his/her actions?
Rate out of 1-10 do he/she came out to help you with your personal problems?
Rate out of 1-10 When you were with him/her do he/she loves you the same?
Rate out of 1-10 Do you still love him/her?
Will you still try continue your relationship if he came back and apologize his mistakes amd try to make everything correct and think forward with you?
Please answer seriously and please give a chance to help you out.
last time i met him, we had our small fights, but we loved each other a lot…
i knew everything, his family problems, but they weren’t that big… he was from a very well settled family and he had a very good relationship with everyone in his family, he was always the happy kid but recently before we broke up he had career pressure from his fam too and long distance was " too depressing" for him and he was going through a v bad phase.
he didn’t cheat on me while we were dating but we broke up like 1.5 months ago, and I think there’s another girl already, he says they’re just friends and sarcastically said that if I think this, I knew him to well.
we don’t talk now, we did for sometime, not regularly but in one in a while because i wanted to be there cause he was going through something, but we don’t talk at all…he texted on 12th for the last time saying how wonderful i am and deserve a lot better in guys and i can do anything i want in my life and lettinf me go was the hardest thing he had to do and he said don’t let anyone and everyone have you, you are one of the best human beings i have met in life but yest my best friend asked him if he was dating a girl he posted an ig story w, he answered so bluntly… literally feels like a stranger, not the person i knew.
10, when we were dating he was there, legit my rock, but before we broke up a month ao we both were going through bas phases and i kept mine aside to be there for him, but he didn’t even once asked me what happened or how i was, even after telling him i cried for 5 hours straight… he just didn’t care and was v arrogant and ignorant
5 i think, i really don’t know what he is feeling, he seems damn happy without me on ig stories, but people can pretend…
10, i still love him so so so much, i cant even tell how much
i think so, i mean not as soon as he apologizes but if i feel he’s being genuine i would, but i would not be able to trust him completely like i did before, like i can trust him with girls stuff, but not about him being there forever and saying that he wont ever change
Listen dear,
Your sadness is very obvious and it would be not good to conclude something out of what you have shared but still I won’t stop myself to say that you are a beautiful heart girl and your love for him is unconditionally ture.
And in your case I will personally try my best to help you out completely with your problem. But I’ll repeat the same thing that I need your trust so both of us will fight for your problems.
By this talks I will try to get you out from all of your mental burden but don’t want you to get detached from anyone.
I would like to ask for your consent to help you out with all I have lear with my studies in Human Psychology and my personal experiences and true human feeling.
Please reply yes/no to allow me to help you out as much as I could.😊
as long as this stays anonymous i don’t mind… i really need some help… but I am not courageous to come out front…
Don’t worry I won’t ask you to disclose any of your personal information.
Before starting I would like to ask that are you facing any of the following problem on bigger scale currently:
sleep disturbance, loss of interest, guilt or feelings of worthlessness, energy loss and fatigue, concentration problems, appetite/weight changes, psychomotor retardation or agitation, and suicidal ideation.
i dont have suicidal ideation, but yeah all the other problems
I completely understand your situation coz once in a life I have faced something like you and it was very traumatic for me to get out of it. But I fought against it all myself but one you must keep in your mind that you are not alone at all. You can Share me anything no matter what is it I am always here for you.
And for your current problems, can you share me some information regarding your daily routine like how much time do you spend with your family members, friends, with yourself, and stepping out. I don’t want to know the time but the duration that you spend.
Because to get out of the things that you are facing we first need to control those things that traumatized you that much.
I know it is very difficult for you to get over it but we’ll together work on it.
Our first aim is to get mentally healthy because a person must be stable before he could come a decisions. For your can I am able to observe that there are some guilt and something that is breaking you from inside.
And our second aim will be take a tough decision that could change your life entirely we’ll discuss about this decision later but first of all you need to get yourself ready to take this important decision.
With regards.
Dr. Few moments. Bsc. Human Psychology. Doctor of Medicine (M. D.)
Please suggest me a name that I can call you with (name cam be in any of language that you like to be called) You can give me a name what ever you like to call me.😊
ugh i had typed a big message saying all this stuff but due to an error it got erased and I can’t properly remember what I wrote… anyway I am gonna call you Dr. moon, its weird ik but I used to talk to the moon all the time and it made me feel that I am not alone… but recently its been hard to look at because of losing someone who I had some memories related to them… and you can call me simba / toothless… again weird. but just the attachment behind it… anyway I used to spend a good time with family, friends not so much because I felt content and at peace with my boyfriend… i had moved to another city for my college where I met him 2 years ago… before that I wasn’t in a good place… and my school friends had become toxic…but this guy helped me a lot… and I naturally didn’t maintain that good of relationship… we were a lil distant ( me and my friends) i had great college friends, but I wasn’t that close to them… and most of the time we hung out, my boyfriend did too… we were almost the whole day together almost everyday for like 1 year 5 months… then suddenly we had lockdown… and suddenly not seeing each other for 11 months played a role in the break up… also we both tried a lot… like our best( even If not being long distance people) but he gave up after 11 months… he said it was" too depressing" for him… and we both were going through a bad phase, personally, relationship and career wise… and it got a lot for him and left me out of nowhere… via text… without any proper explanation… i was just so helpless… after the break up i tried a lot for him to take me back, tell me what was going on… we literally used to share everything(at least the important stuff) and he didn’t tell me that all that was going on with him… i begged and begged for him to tell me, but he said i couldn’t and asked me to just forget him and leave him alone and said he didn’t want anybody, and just wants to be left alone… i begged for closure and for just to talk on the call… but i didn’t get that… 24 days later he calls and tells me everything, tells me how difficult it was for him, everything that was going on and letting me go… and he cried on the call and at a weak moment he also asked me if i would be single after he settles down, would i get back together ( though the chances of this happening is 1 in a trillion i said yes and somewhere still hope that after all that has happened)… and that time(when he called me after the break up) he was far away from his family, and not in a good situation so i made sure if he was okay, i would text/call in every 4-5 days… and when i didn’t i asked my friend to check up on him and he also had 2 of his friends calling him… then a month later he went back to his city and i decided to not keep in contact… the day he went back was out last call… that day instead of straight going home, he spent the evening with his friends( which was weird but i was in no place to say anything) anyway he was telling me about it and all… then he texted thankyou for calling and all… and then few days later he sent me this big text saying how wonderful i was and good things about me, telling me that letting me go will always be a shit moment for the rest of my life, warning me of some shit people in my life and how i should be close to my parents too and make them proud, and told me that he got me a lil something from his hard earned salary to show that i meant a lot… and then he posts a picture 3 days ago on it with the same girl he met after he got back after that months and it was a v couple ish picture which shattered my heart into pieces cause he said that he didn’t want anyone, or any girl, my sister tected him angrily but i asked her to unsend it but till then he saw the message and he got pissed and indirectly talked through my college friend and he was saying that out of all people i shoild know what kind of a person he is and saying that shes just a friend, and i am not over anything by 1% i just go out to feel better, and as a friend i put up the story and after 2 years if she still believes that then it was waste of 2 years maybe and all… but UK in this all… he never once tried understanding to my side, scratch that, he didn’t even ask… for so long he didn’t even ask how i was… he just didn’t care at the end. before the break up, the last month was rough… but i thought it was just a phase and i had told him that i was going through something, but he was out with his family on a trip, so he said dw, i am here, we’ll figure it out, just till then don’t think about it, and he also got me a v special gift from there… but when he got back… he didn’t even ask once what had happened or how i was… he just stopped talking so much less and started ignoring and not caring and he was acting like the shittiest person… he told me he was going through stuff, but hello?! so was i! but he went out and was twerking and dancing and laughing, and i was waiting for his text back… i just wished he would’ve told me all of it and not acted this way… anyway when i got pissed we had a fight and i just didn’t talk for days and he broke up… i was in such a bad place because i needed him the most that time… and i just didn’t have anyone… and this just added on, like a lot… and he knew i was shattered… but still didn’t ask how i was… and then the begging part and then the call you know… i don’t know if i was able to tell it to you to understand, but yeah… i just felt that after all we had went through over the years, i deserved a better break up, at least. now after the picture scene i have completely isolated myself and i lost the will to do literally anything, i just listen to my music… and before this, i had progress… like i was better… like not good, but at least i slept and ate and got out of room if not my house, but now… nothing… UK seeing him hurt so much too… really broke my heart… like if i was given the option to take his hurt, and him to be good, i would say yes in a blink… and i don’t think this is mutual so yeah that hurts too…
you know i just expected the bare minimum… literally… i just wished he wouldve noticed and said i wasn’t being myself and dw it’ll be okay, no matter how shitty it gets, we will get out of it together… as he had promised over the years… UK he was really there, and so was i… we were each others first love… we never met anyone who made us feel like that, and trust me had a lot of girls before me, he was a fboy but he always said i was diff… our families knew… we were literally each others family and it was so genuine and rare and easy… like after spending so much time together one would think weren’t you sick of each other… and we weren’t… i still think that he was the one… cause i believe that only one person can make you fell at home with one hug… whenever i was homesick or missed home cooked meal… he got me food from his place… fed me… took care of me… never made me feel alone… always understood me and always said i was his family and would never let me go no matter what… and i trusted that because he made me happy, let it be small gesture or big, he did it all… it was a very balanced and healthy and happy relationship, everyone in our college thought we’d end up together…
First of all Thank you so much Simba for giving me this beautiful name and believe me this moon will never have any new moon day, so I am always here for you. Your trust is the key with which I could open the lights of happiness in the dark night which you are facing.
Simba just leave whatever happened in your life in last two years just try to forget that all stuff… Now let’s just think about the future the golden time of your life which is waiting for you with all the dreams that you saw before you fell in love and let’s start remembering your purpose in life. Yes, that brighty purpose that is already written with golden ink in your destiny and that bloody purpose for what you went in that city, that beautiful dream that you saw before you felling in love.
Remember Simba this is not a brain wash or any kind of therapy it’s just a conversation between two old friends nothing else like long speach. I am here to help you out with all the burden that you are carrying on your head.
There must be millions of good times that you spend with each other and for lot of time you were alone with him and obviously you have also did many favours for him as he does. But the main point is that did he ever validated your effects for him. Did he recognised that unconditional love that you had in your heart for him.
I am so sorry to say that after listening your story I am sure that this guy is now becomes a person who have heart of stone and now whatever you will do for him to get everything normal that efforts will definitely be tooked for granted and you have to compromise with the self. And this will be the worst life that you don’t even imagine.
Simba you are a beautiful soul, believe in yourself and trust me I will never lie to you.
Now it’s high time to stand up don’t just push yourself in anyone’s feet get some dignity Simba remember these kind of relationships are like glass sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together.
Sometimes not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Believe me the decision that we are going to make will be the one that can totally chage your life.
Lot’s of regards and good wishes Dr Moon.
yeahh you are right, i always had bigger dreams, part of my dreams were to find the one and him being my no. 1 supporter and i really did, but now i dont, but thats not gonna stop me from achieveing what all i have dreamt of… you know this guy loved this about me, like i wasnt like other, i really was ambitious… and uk i am gonna go get it… no matter how difficult it takes, and i wanna make a change in the world, i am gonna be a kickass entreprenuer and i am gonna be kind and good and do it! i just dont know how to find who i am… like i know i want something of my own, i just dont know what, i tried a lot to search that, but didnt get it yet… but i guess i will have to keep searching, but i just dk where and how to start… how do i know this is what i want! i wanna builld my own empire, i wanna have my own brand! i wanna make all my parent’s sacrifices worth it! uk but the course i am doing is just overwhelming and adding on to the confusion, like i am not at all interested in it… i tried to convince my dad to drop out, but he said its just more 1.5 years and this degree might help, and maybe he’s right, but i just dont know what to do… uk just feel lost…
regards and good wishes,
simba <3
also give me an upvote on the message after you reply so that I get the notification when you reply :)
I can completely agree with your part Simba and also with your parents coz believe me our parents are the only one who has loved unconditionally and their love never dies for us ever.
Few temporary relationship of our life in which we have spent lots of energy and time, in which we think we have got what we thought, we have everything and feel like this is the one who can do anything and for whome I can do anything and trust them with blind eye, love them with everything, respect them for every side but don’t even think that does he/she really deserve, do he is the one for whome I can do what I wanted to do.
Always remember love is not only a feeling that could be induced by few favours or some temporary care, this all is just an attraction this could last for years but never become love coz I believe the love must be compiled by respect, responsibility, care and commitment.
Now you need to think about it what lag’s in your relationship?
Listen Simba,
You are the one who have been supported by your parents and been loved by them. You did a great thing that you confessed in front of your parents about your career and the life that you wished to live.
But I would definitely agree with your parents because today you are facing something that is very disturbing and traumatizing which could land you to some wrong decisions (not definately but it could) and there will br no one to get you out from it,
So I would suggest that if you have only 1.5 yrs remaining in your degree then just don’t waste your efforts and hard work that you have already invested in this degree and use the remaining time to collect the raw that you need for your start up, go and explore the resources that you will need at that time, use this remaining 1.5 yrs to search, research, analysis and process everything that you could need but start only when you are 100% ready to rock and that time there will be no any other power that has calibre to stop you.
And at the same time you will be ready with your backup plan (your degree), if some how you got stuck or won’t be able to get what ever you want then at that time your degree will help you out, with it you could get a job, or you can proceed with further course but don’t stop anything in your life which could help you with anything.
Please clear me is that guy is in the same course and you are dropping out because you have to face him there ??
no no, i was thinking of dropping out even when we were dating, I was just not happy, we are in different departments… i just feel so lost sometimes, I just need to know where to start… i am very hardworking and consistent and dedicated, but lately I am not all those things, and it is scary…
Yes…
This is what I exactly wanted to listen… loved to hear from you…
I just want to gauge how deep are you still with your career. Believe me Simba you have already won with 60% of your problems.
Can you share what do you wish to do as your startup? (Only if you’re comfortable to share)
Simba
Now you just need to stop worrying that you find right one or not or are you doing right thing or not… Don’t strive to find love this time let love find you and if love finds you out then it will be Called as falling in love don’t try to force yourself you will just fall Let’s the universe decide and chose the correct and right love for you… Sometimes Simba all you need to give yourself a break, not from yourself it will be for yourself but from those toxic people that surrounds you and from whome you were addicted with, and the period in which your are traveling is nothing but some withdrawal effects. It’s really tough but last for very small duration. You just need to stay calm and divert your self to work on your future and let everyone realise who you are what is your real worth and what did they loose.
Lot’s of hopes.
Dr. Moon.😊
thankyou so much, i have been trying so hard to do that but I just lost my motivation, for a time period, but still…
that’s the thing, I don’t know what kind of business, I am searching that, but something mostly non tech, I have shown potential to run a business and I think I can build it, I just don’t know what, I had brainstormed some ideas, and researched about some ideas, but I just haven’t found the “it” idea yet, which UK gives me the guilt feeling… every big decision in my life I have taken, it always came from within, like it felt so right… like choosing this college out of all, i may have lost interest in what i am learning but this college has taught me a lot, like i was in the right place at right time, also this guy, i know things didn’t work out, but he literally gave me the happiest memories and years and i learnt so so much from him… i hope you understand what kind of righteous feeling i am talking about Dr. moon… i just didn’t feel it from the ideas i had written down… i was gonna do some practical work when i heard i was going back to the city cause college was reopeing, but that didn’t happen… UK i just feel that i am not gonna get that idea sitting at home, i need to see the world outside, the real world… i wanna work some places, i wanna learn, how to manage, how to sell, what attracts people, advertisement strategies and all of it… i just need to learn it practically, not study it theoretically i wanna make mistakes i wanna struggle i wanna see the world, see what its problems our and make something that’ll solve it, even if its the smallest problem… i just wanna learn and research about it, and my engineering is just holding me back sometimes i feel
sorry it"s gut feeling and not guilt feeling, had a major typo there XD
Hello Simba! you didn’t came back.
Are you doing good today?
i did come back… i sent you a text 12 hrs ago…
Dr. moon is there any other platform where we can talk? this is a lil inconvenient
Ohh god Simba,
I have also wrote a beautiful message for you 3hr before that last message, but now it is not visible in this convo.
I always have to write 2-3 times.
No problem.
But I don’t use any professional id in any of the social platforms. And also this is not a right place to share any of these personal information (for both of us, hope you’ll understand)
But I can do one thing…
I’ll create a new email address where you can mail me then we’ll just exchange our personal details or we can talk there more easily.
Dr. Moon.
Mail me on yourdrmoon@gmail.com
We’ll continue our session here.
Dr. Moon.
Your post really resonated with me, and helped with my own feelings of heartache. I can’t give advice just saying I know how you feel.
i hope you will be okay soon <3
It’s sad to see that there are people who have gone through the same as me. Sometimes my belief of humanity smash into pieces when people we trust turns out like that. But i remember not everyone is the same. But till now I haven’t met such people who are positive and ready to exchange just love and happiness and just a kind of peace. I can feel you dear. One day you will also get through of this and feel li8. Try to develop your self Lome esteem it would help. At last you will be alone no matter wt. 💗
Yeah you are right… it just hurts doing everything right and still end up like this… everyone sees themselves and not others… it’s just too lonely… no one to understand my side… people who cared a lot don’t give a shit about you… they are just busy defending themselves… not even trying to understand other person’s feelings 😔
