Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I met this girl my senior year of high school she had recently moved from another state to my high school and even though she was a year younger than I was we became best friends i started inviting her to my theater practice and soon she was part of the cast as time went by she and I became even closer I had a boyfriend at the time who was an asshole but that is a story for another day. After me and that boy I dated broke up she was there for me and she helped me get through it. I honestly thought she was my soulmate. We had so much fun together and she would sleep over at my house or I would go over to hers, I became very attached to her family as well. I started dating another boy later on and also started working and going to college which she also started doing a year later so our time was reduced and I wasn’t able to see her as much because we both moved and also after the pandemic started she wasn’t really allowed to see other people. So as time starting passing she started dating someone who she meet in school, I was very happy for her since she had been single for a while and well she had a very bad record with love. After she started dating her boyfriend I started noticing she would rather spend time with him and would cancel on me rather frequently and later just cut me off and start ignoring my text and messages at one point. She didn’t text me or answer my calls for almost a month but I kept insisting because she was my best friend and we had gone through so much together and I just wished things would go back to how they used to be. Later she answered and said how I did things that bothered her and how I was basically a bad friend. I managed to make her answer my calls one day and she said how she had been going through somethings and that she was just scared of seeing me because she would be vulnerable and she didn’t deal with that right now, she told me she wanted me to hate her so I would move on and stop talking to her. I let the whole thing go and started talking to her and making an effort to talk to her again and I felt like things were finally okay but now she is doing everything all over again. She has been ignoring my calls and texts again and I just don’t know what to do anymore I just feel like I don’t deserve all of this. I was there for her anything she needed and if she would have asked me for time and space I would have given it to her but she just ghosted me like I didn’t even matter to her or all those things we did together were just lies but I know they weren’t. she is not a bad person I just wish she would just talk to me and tell me what is wrong