I m scared anxious guilty feels like I m responsible for these feeling as if I want them to sabotage me. The stiff body stuffed heart heavy inside…feels too unsafe in this world with my feeling oozing out my body …let me breathe…whenever I lose trust in myself…and criticize myself as if I’m pelting stones at my own soul…but it’s not like it happens just once in a Blue Moon… it’s like daily I fight with this…but every time I don’t know if it’s my real inner voice or a voice which is useless and does more harm than good…i don’t know how to separate them both…so surrender and take it as mine…i think whenever something painful or triggering happens I leave my body and become lika a scared fetus inside my mind…my mind does everydamn thing to hurt or curse me even but I take it as my protector and do and feel as it says…even if that means getting scared of my own self…of my own possibilities because then I have to lose this safe place which is in reality not at all safe…but why if feels so because it feels good to follow something than leading.
Hey, I was in the same position rn… The only thing that helped me was my religion. Ik, it might not be helpful for everyone, but read stories, these mythological stories have very deep meanings in then and it might help you get out of wherever you are stuck.
