I love this girl my entire life and she wasn’t interested in me at all and now after 9 years  we’re getting in a serious relationship and now I don’t feel like staying together 
I can’t take any decision 
I’m dying inside every day all these years

well, to her i was pretty much just the shoulder to cry on and nothing more. i ended up as second choice all the time and ended up trying to move on. i dont regret it i guess

omg i got that too lol, it wasn't for as long though. and i ended up giving up on her.

Relationships

I am feeling very depressed. Me and my girlfriend were so good and care about each other.. we were in relationship for the past 9 months we spent a lot of time together and we know about each other... she is very possessive to me And I too. we both belong to Christianity and she told that her parents would accept me as her husband and we planned a lot to be with eachother and complete the graduation in the same city. She used to care about me like my mother and i uesd to care about her soo much like her father. Her father passed away when she was 6 years old. And we made a lot of memories and a lot to say but i don't have much time to describe but yesterday when she said that "do we need love in this age" and I don't know what she's talking about.. she had gone to youth prayer in her church and they changed everyone's mind like loving is a wrong way like that. she was angry with me for 3 days I don't know why and she called Me last night and made me laugh and happy and I am happy too. When we end the conversation and about to sleep he texted me like that. I asked her "what would you do after breaking up with me ?"
She said I'll keep myself busy with studies. I said it's okay 
She didn't breakup with me but she said a point that if we both are made for each other..god will combine us. I agreed to her what she said. But the problem is when I heard breakup word from her mouth I didn't get a proper breathe I collapsed on my terrace once..I think I would have died. I don't understand the word breakup till now 
I know that meaning 
But I can't feel it...and I don't want to feel it.
And I don't how I am 

Breakup

Background-Info: I've always felt very lonely for the past years. Never felt like I was part of a (friend-)group, never really had a serious relationship and I've never been very outgoing so far. 
I was pretty much all by myself with my problems, thoughts etc. It was sort of a self-destructive phase aswell. 

Met this girl, who I genuinely love talking to. Also knew from the beginning that she has a boyfriend, so I told my brain to stay calm and be friends with her. Some time went by, we talked a lot, met up a couple times, texting/talking to each other pretty much everyday and she introduced me into her friendgroup, which I am now kinda a part of (all that is new to me.)

To keep this short: I have a crush on her. I have all those butterflies in my stomach when I think or talk to her. I sometimes catch myself smiling non-stop by the thought her. It sounds like no big thing if I write this, but it's different. I've never felt this way for anybody else. I gotta admit: Normally it's almost just the looks. But not her. It's everything about her. Her looks (duh), her personality, the way she talks, her voice, those lovely little things she does, the way she texts, her social skills, how excited she gets etc. She's probably the dream-girl I've ever wanted. 

Well and then there are moments, where those butterflies decide to play war: The moment I remember she's taken. And they're happy. No, I won't move a single muscle trying to manipulate their relationship, I just won't, because it's wrong. And I wouldn't want anybody else to do that in my non-existent-relationship. It feels like a deep punch in my heart, followed by the feeling of emptiness, followed by frustration and bitterness (which led me here).

To make this clear: I want her in my life, even if we're just friends. She's an amazing person and that sort of person I always wanted, romantically or just as a friend. 
I don't know if it's just me being afraid of ending up alone again when I do anything, thinking of what she's brought into my life. Or if I just want some comfort.

PS: I have no idea how y'all keep your posts so short. Also I don't know what to expect really. I don't even know what I hope to achieve with this.


Crush

Part 4:

With that information and seeing her with that bf once in a market place ,were enough to make me move on...But boy if it's that easy...
       Work work work and watching anime to forget about her  was the only escape as working in 12 hours shifts and mandatory isolation already enough to cut off from my friends.
1.5 years passed and the covid situation started to settle.We started seeing each other in office...again

Colleague

I want a boy of 17


How do I forgive my love who forgot me during her success?
Basically we were great both striving in our respective fields . She achieved a major breakthrough.
Just after her breakthrough the frequencies of her calls reduced ( I can understand she required time to get prepared )
I was shaken when i came across an success post of her through social medias where in I wasn't even tagged leave apart a mention .
I stood by her during all downs of he life . a person with no complains and no demands for the past 6.5 years .
I stopped receiving her calls completely and got blocked.
Before leaving the town she wanted to meet for which I refused.
I went through an emotional turmoil for a month .
I received her call a few months later where in she regretted that how abruptly I ended things and wanted to celebrate her good days with me .
She did not have any idea why i did that . I explained it to her and she accused me instead of apologizing.
I introspected and one might feel that my jealousy has overpowered my love but that is not the case .
I made that clear to her as well that I was extremely happy and proud of whatever she was able to achieve .
She lost virginity to someone she dated for a while after dumping me and has come back now and is ready for a fresh start.
I still love her and had made plans mental/physical with her & vice versa.
I watched her give up on me and complete the plans we made getting complete with someone else.
This will never go from my mind.
How do I move away from her?
She is not right for me I do acknowledge but my love I don’t know why is still overpowering all her wrongs.

i have been dealing with depression for probably 5 years atleast. now I havent actually done anything to fix it. never confronted it, never sought help. I just hid from it my few littlle comfort. hid myself from the world. so one would say I ahve been stagnant for these years. no real growth. my biggest support was my gf. she was all i cared about. didnt care about anything else. not even my self. but it came to the ppoint where it seems her feelings changed. after 7 years. and the distance wasnt making it better especially with covid. but i wouldve never expected this betrayal. i saw the signs but i didnt want to admit it. because i thought she cared about me most in this world. she wouldnt make up her mind with what she wanted with the relationship. i asked her time and time again if she wanted to break up. she keeps telling me she thinks that would be a mistake. she will tell me she still wants me so i stayed, because i had nothing else. I come to find out she is getting rather comfy with another guy. and she kept feeding me the excuse that its just a friend. i put my foot down one day. told her you cant do this. not when you are in a relationship, if you want this you have to stop. but im not forcing you. she accepts it and agrees. then suddenly ignores me for days and then when she finally says something is that she needs space. i say ok. i keep making step backs for her. for months i have been putting myself through misery because of her. then i notice she back at it again with the guy. after what we just dicussed. i snapped. i was ready for it to end. she comes back stating shes not cheating me if thats what i think. i told her i was ready for it to end. does she want to end it, does she want to be with the guy. she said she guesses hes more important than she thought but she just enjoys the friendship. and that she still wants to be with me. and like an idiot, i folded once again. but before we ended that discussion, i said to her what if he made a move, and ask that you leave me for him. here with a patronzing response, she pretends has if she has any integrity. she states that is very unrealistic of me to even say that. she would never leave her relationship for the friend. and funny enough she says she wouldnt even want to associate with someone like that. i said my final piece, pls dont do that. that will break me. im fragile i know. i dont want to be that way but i am. she claims she would never. fast forward, i take a 5 hr flight to another state to take an exam for her. come back. we got into altercation. she says she needed space. i gave her space. week later she ignores me still. so i think maybe 2 weeks is fine. near the 2 week mark i contacted her. can we talk. wnated to share what was on my mind. that i myself need to take a step back because im too attached to her and i fear getting hurt. not to end it but i wont force her to spend time with me(which was extremely difficult). she says wait after i say my first few words. and that she guesses she has something to say. like she didnt plan to say it in the first place. i say ok. waited. still no message. but my gut told me what it is. so i said it for her. for the coward. are you breaking up with me? she said yes. i said why, is it because of the guy? she said yes. and im like wait are you in a relationship with him. she said yes. he iniated it. she accepted. im just shockd. why would you do that. why wouldnt u go about it that way. all she had to say it happens. as if its no big deal. as if i was nothing to her. so i snapped. i broke. she showed no care or remorse. i wanted her to feel my pain. i cursed her out, i told her to remove our photos on our social media accounts. the girl had the nerve to eb in a new relationship and try to keep it undercover. i was disgusted. i was hurt. i was lost. i was drinking. i got very desturctive. harrassed a bit more. called her names. she folded long before from the altercation. she is weak when it comes to confrontation. i tried to get rid of the pain. but this didnt help. eventually i gave up, more broken than ever. everyday i think about the whole situation. i cant feel anymore happy feelings.  i feel dead inside. every day i think about killing myself. on a few occasions i was rather close to doing it. i fear i may actually one day if i am still in this state. nothing in life interests me anymore. i jut want to stop feeling

Depression

I am a girl, I am in relationship with a girl from past 3 years, she's the one who initiated the relationship 3 years back by intentionally kissing me. Than we were so in love, it was caring, good, we made love a lot. But the girl used me too in every way she could like I have done everything for her like traveling distances to see her, bringing her food, surprises, like every think... But  few months back she double dated with a guy and now had ditched me saying we were toxic... the guy made him happy she says.. she lost feelings from her and fall for the guy.... It hurts so much... Now what should I do

Unpopular opinion: Boys too have mood swings. Here is a justification👇🏻

This girl, I met her on discord and now we've exchanged numbers and all. We talk constantly but our ideology/mindset is not similar so I just feel like stop talking to her at all and carry on with my stuff. But again, sometimes I feel I should just text and her and talk as if nothing happened. It's just that I know my limits so I'm able to control my emotions and impulsive decisions. We are still connected but I don't feel like talking to her. IDK how's it going and how its gonna end up. I mean she is very nice, patient and humble and I accept that I sometimes get rude(I also apologised to her) but I cannot handle this anymore. I think I'm faking out my personality. We haven't met yet and not even possible because we are 1000 KMs apart. We barely talk on calls, its just normal texting.

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