I lost someone very special to me because of my behavior.... I mean i behaved like a child whenever i talked to her... But i was so so happy when we talked... I just kept telling her... I love you... I love you.. And she got really irritated... And she is in a relationship now.... I really feel terrible... I just didn't want to loose her... She has blocked me from everywhere so I can't contact her... I feel low in confidence... I just don't feel like living anymore... Its like she was my everything... She was my reason to live... And now she is gone... I told her she can be in relationship with anyone but just don't leave me... But she didn't listen... I can't live without her... I loved her with all what I had... With all my heart and soul... But I lost her only and only because of me.... I feel really really terrible... I can't think of anything else... I just think about her and regret that I lost her.... It feels really bad... I can't do any work... Nor can I eat... What should I do

Suicidal Ideation

There is this girl i am in love with.... i cant say that its love becoz.. i have abandonment issues... small display of caring gets me hooked... plus i have been mistreated a lot by my ex crushes.. soo rejections were constant!! To cope up with these issues... i somehow get attracted to one or more girls at the same time... for supposedly "backup plans" but the only thing that differed in this was the intensity...... intensity of love varied alot..
The point im trying to make is... i loke this girl alot... but she has soo many complex and compelling ideas... which are both "not same as mine" and "OMG moments" which basically impresses me alot!! She never had to struggle with boys!! Everyone was and is behind her.... she had an ex.. but that guy is soo close to her that even thier parents know each other and now they casually meet... she believes that she has low eq(emotional quotient) less emo types... soo she used to have casual relationships!! Ab the point is... idk if she is just flirting with me or if she really likes me... 



Girls help me out... what the fuck goes through ur brain... idk if i should pursue this or keep this as a good friendship 

Relationships

She is beautiful😍

Crush

What do I like about her?
Me: Everything.

Her laugh is like a hyena's,
But that's what makes it great,
And every time she snorts, I know I'm in for a treat.

Her eyes are two big googly balls,
That bulge out of her head,
And every time she winks at me,
I feel like I've been hit with lead.

She's clumsy as a baby giraffe,
Tripping over her own feet,
And every time she falls down,
I can't help but laugh and tweet.

But despite all her quirks and flaws,
And the chaos that she brings,
I know I wouldn't trade her,
For anything else on this Earthly thing.

So what do I like about her?
Me? Everything, even her silliness.



3am Thoughts

But i am not able to do that i wanna move on but i can't . These nights nit letting me sleep. These ears want to listen here voice i wanna be with her . But she is happy with some one else. I can i let it go how

So about 3 months ago I proposed my crush who was my good friend but she denied by saying that I am wondering person but she doesn't feel the same and but I all always get a vibe she feels something for me but anyway I respect her descion so I am not saying to her about this but I am feeling so hurted every single day because I really love her and I am still not over her I can't stop thinking about her like we were together how will react and all this when I watch something realted to couple mean any happy moments I think of her and then realized we can be together which always made me cry I am crying almost every night from 3 months and I know I am running my life because it's okay 2 months left to college to get over and I haven't figured anything for me but this feeling hurt so good and moreover she agreed that she will not ruin our friendship but lately I am getting a feeling now she is ignoring me I messaged her after a month and we are having some nice conversation but on middle of the conversation she is ghosted me and I know people will say get over her there more girl in this world , focus on yourself but I already heard alot of this from people 🥲🥲 and this is the only girl I have ever liked in my 21 year of life  she was  genuinely the first girl I ever liked i sometimes feel I am worthless and though she is a Very nice girl she deserves the best maybe I was not the best maybe I am worthless


Lonely


A girl I met online,
She seemed so bright and kind.
But as soon as we connected,
My hopes were left behind.

Her interest vanished fast,
So fast that I could not explain.
My dreams of being with her,
Were gone in the pouring rain.

I'll never know why she left,
It's something I'll never know.
I know our paths may never cross again
Still I can't help but think,
What would have been?

I'm in a healthy relationship, but I feel like sometimes I'm toxic for her . Basically we are in ldr and we both came from different countries than each other so we both raised entirely differently. Sometimes it's become so hard to communicate, to understand each other, make time for each other. Our most common reason behind fighting is our way of expressing love to each other. Idk abt me but she treats me entirely different from how I want to be treated or loved. And thus we always end up fighting . Well in this relationship she's the one who stays calm and tries to make me understand but sometimes even she doesn't have any idea what she's doing is right or wrong and at the end I always have to let it go , and if she repeats the same thing again, then again I start fighting with her . I just really don't know how to make this work cause I've tried more than enough to make her understand how I feel but she hasn't changed yet. But I do love her soo much and I don't wanna lose her ever so I just want the right way to make things work between us.

I am a girl, I am in relationship with a girl from past 3 years, she's the one who initiated the relationship 3 years back by intentionally kissing me. Than we were so in love, it was caring, good, we made love a lot. But the girl used me too in every way she could like I have done everything for her like traveling distances to see her, bringing her food, surprises, like every think... But  few months back she double dated with a guy and now had ditched me saying we were toxic... the guy made him happy she says.. she lost feelings from her and fall for the guy.... It hurts so much... Now what should I do

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