i literally have no friends, that´s why i tried to find a way to vent, where maybe someone could help me. my boyfriend and i just moved together and when talking about new years eve, i told him i dońt want to celebrate. today he told me his friend invited us and if i am okey with it, so i asked who else is coming. (i am extremely scared of meeting new people.) he said it´s only the three of us, i declined because i dońt wanna third wheel and told him, they can spend the night together.
he said he is going to find a fourth person, so i asked who he had in mind. his answer was either someone from your or his side, i dont really have friends, only people i know. he got extremely mad and said, that it was no problem last year (mind you i had 110bpm and was sweating and shaking, thought i could not breathe and it stopped when i got drunk), i answered with the reasons and told him that it´s okey and that the both of them can party alone, he told me that he thinks that i am hard too handle and that i am not understanding that he wants to spend new years eve with me. i told him i know and that i would like to spend time with so many people but that i can’t and that it´s okey for me if he invites him and i am just going into my room. in the and he got mad and told his friend that he won‘t spend new years eve with him.
is this all my fault?? am i selfish?
First of all there’s no selfishness because you are a nice person with an introverted personality in psychology terms you haven’t learnt how to meet and greet people, it might be from the beginning of your childhood but don’t worry it’s just your personality nothing is wrong with you dear you don’t have to be sad, if you really be a person who has many friends then you need to accept yourself first then start participating in many social activities which would help you to speak with strangers and let you know about their personality and other options are you can start your chit chat with kids, Step by step you will over come your this personality
Socialising is hard especially if your scared of being judged or afraid of what other people could say. Your partner should understand that you have this trouble and accept you for who you are he shouldn’t try to force you in awkward situations where you feel forced. If you feel like your selfish its more like the opposite your partner should accept that you want to be alone with him and he should be happy with that.
i am really scared! it already starts with the way i dress… am i looking like someone they would like? is my hair styled in a way they would like? am i talking about thinks they would like?
what will they say next? is what i said dumb or uninteresting?
You should look the way you want to try not to think about other people on how they see you or think about you. Just be you! Thats the best advice i can give you don’t let people tell you how to act just express yourself.
The only solution is to remove ur fear! Hesitation, fear can only be removed by socializing! It’s not your fault, it’s just a behaviour of yours which needs to be molded. Feel free to talk to anyone, they are not gonna bite u. That’s the way i think when meeting people. Making friends isn’t a tedious task, observe, understand people and pick appropriate ones that sync with your frequency. U still have time to make adjustments for celebrating the new year with ur boyfriend and friends. It would be really fun if you 3 celebrate together. Don’t think that u will be left out and they both enjoy together. Just don’t over think. Just focus to enjoy each moment. He may be annoyed because u are not trying to improve the situation. Rather than grieving talk to as many people as you can and u will get nice people. As a beginner, u can talk with people online and come out of ur confined zone. U will definitely feel the change in a few days.
i am really scared of talking to new people. the last years i spent time mostly alone… i am always overthinking! is what i am saying interesting? are they bored? yade yade yade
i will try stepping out of my comfort zone slowly!!
U r sitting most of the time alone. Therefore u have every opportunity to overthink. I understand ur difficulty. Try to overcome the difficulty in talking to people. Do things that interest you. Reduce idle time. And Never think of what others think whatever you say. It’s not going to harm anyone. Be cool 😎
You both need time for self so avoid third person…
Girl i am exactly like u but in ur case ut bf cares for u wanna spend time with my my bf dosen’t hqve time for me to even talk to me of meet me once in a week i always spend my time alone in my room my family is not even concern what i am feeling or not my sister treat me like some shiy for not doing any job because i m scared of people i feel lonely sometimes i think i should die …i am so broken…
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