Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I liked a boy who was in love with someone else and that was actually flirty with everyone. He made me fall in love with him and then told everyone that he was in love with someone else and after that a lot of things happened which is a really long story
So let’s jump into the main part… After a year a lot of things changed he told me that he loved me but obviously I didn’t believe him and after a lot of trial he finally convinced me to date him. He said he would change he won’t repeat the same mistakes again but I was unsure of him so I just decided to date him but it wasn’t official. but a lot of things happened in between. He stole my first kiss. But after that another guy walled in my life whom I used to have a huge crush on and my date already knew about me having a crush on him but it was all in the past now. So my ex crush and i became very good friends and my non official bf didn’t like that so he told me about it and assured him that i won’t go back to my crush so he doesn’t have to worry. But then there were a lot of things happened in between for which we didn’t see eachother that often. So now this guy, my non official bf told somebody else that he is confused now… He like me as well as that girl, his 1st crush. So when i heard that, i confronted him and he asked me with tears in his eyes , “Do you like him?” I denied it but then all our friends told both of us to clear everything out and there he said that , The other girl is really friendly and tells him everything while i am egoistic and never tells him anything. And lemme tell you, this guy know everything about my life from A to Z. And he told that i never tell him anything.
I don’t what he wanted from me but his words crushed me. This whole time he treated me like an option. He just thought I liked my ex crush and without even asking me or conforming it, he went back to his ex crush…
I just wanna cry right now
I miss him
I wanna talk to him
I want him to love me but my heart cannot love him back…