I know ︎you want to be there for Jian. She needs you and you need her too! You love each other as well. All I want is to see is you’re happy, loved and cherished, no matter whom you’re with, Stuky or J. I’ll respect these women that are in certain relationships with you before me. I don’t interfere relationships. Therefore, we can only be close friends for now. And I do hope there’s opportunity for us to be together in the future too! But we need time to heal, grow and truly love and embrace our selves first. That way we will genuinely be able to love each other unconditionally and embrace true happiness in relationships, no matter its ours or yours with someone else.
For me, I reach religion and mental therapy for nurturing better self. Idk what ways you’ll choose, I eagerly hope it’s healthy and positive ways instead of practicing black magic and possessions that could harm yourself again… Even the thought of it terrifies me again… Please do not visit me with astral projection or possession anymore. I forbid all kinds of black magic related practices of yours. I can take care of myself and don’t worry about my safety. I won’t drive fast while being emotional anymore. I’ll be serene most of the time as long as you’re too.
In these three days of the horribly darkest nights of soul, I realized the true respects towards others’ decisions and encounters in life rather than trying to control or manipulate others’ by emotional abuse. I saw the psychiatry doctor for the first time today and it’s so relived to finally be able to share my sorrow and anonymous experience. Looking forward to the mental evaluation next Mon. I’m curious what potential mental illness do i have lol. Highly suspect I have dual identities. Since I’ve been visiting you unconsciously for years. Maybe I’ll seek spiritual guidance from shamans too. And I also confessed and sought forgiveness from Jesus in church today that i didn’t obey His exportation of being kind to others, when I was hypnotized by my mom. I accept the little(?) demon live within my soul. But I only need it when I am in danger. It’s vital to learn how to tame it with patience, before it hurts ppl I love. The balance between light and darkness is foremost.
Religious faith is great power of self-realization. By believing in higher power of universe in any figure or form, we deeply connect to inner core of spirituality, which build our values at the same time. Sincerely hope you find strength innerly and religiously to magnify the power of love and forgiveness to fall deeply for yourself! And I will do the same too! Take our time and be patient in life. And take good care of yourself for me.
Btw, after this letter, I’ll log out this app for idk how long to focus on my current life. (Going to church, mental therapy, paintings and dating with besties etc. Fixed routine ones) If you’d like to chat with me, please via IG or Telgrm. I didn’t know others’ accounts or souls confused you too… Thought they were your identities. Anyways, there are too much informations that overwhelmed me for days. Need to clear my head and stay mentally stable.
Good night and rest well!
I love you
(How many names do we have… lol)
Bro thinkin its his diary.