Luna @lunar_r
I keep lying to myself that I am happy and that I love myself. I pretend all I want, But yes deep down I do know that I am not happy, I know that I hate myself so much, I hate my body, I hate my face, I pretend to be happy for others when I just want to tear my self apart. I hold back my enjoyment with them because I know that I wouldn’t be able to survive when they leave me. And when they leave me I tell myself a bunch of lies to save myself from falling back in there. I don’t wanna admit that I am depressed, I don’t wanna admit that I have already fallen back there long ago. So I pretend all I want but there is one thing that I need to remember 'A lie can’t always stay a lie it will someday fade away Bringing out all the truth I couldn’t handle. And there’ll be on the floor feeling my heart broken into pieces, and me not being able to pick them up. With my eyes, all red because of my all day and night weeping, feeling my heart drop to my stomach. My head in my hands. With no one there to hold me tight. And I don’t want anyone to be there either. :)
NISHANT KUMAR @discospydr
Hi Dear Luna,
I hope you are doing well.
I’m extremely sorry for what you are going through.
Let me tell you a brief story about myself.
I’m 28, and I also have gone through the phase that you are going. I also do lie to myself that I love my life, that I’m happy, but in reality all it is a lie, which just temporarily soothes the heart. I also do pretend most of the time. I also have bad dreams where I find myself all alone and heartbroken to pieces and no one will be there to help.
So listen, pretending is a part of life sometimes you have to pretend, hold your emotions make a poker face, because that is just a phase nothing more. Its never too late to start over.
Being alone is not a bad thing. Instead it’s a blessing in disguise. It will make you independent. what else does one want from their life.
I hope you find some peace with your current situation.
Cheers
Hey there
I am no expert but first of all accept that u have negative feelings towards yourself and then take action
In my experience a therapist can really help to find where these feelings come from
And one last thing, now that you’re here writing about it you have taken a step forward than believe me that really counts
You will get better i know it cuz you want to And you have accepted your struggle
Wish u the best
Luna @lunar_r
oh thanks a lot
