Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I hit my lifes lowest in 2022 when I couldn’t take work pressure. I finally decided to quit and focus on my health and well being.
I was hopeful that I will heal slowely and get back to where I started long back with new energy.
But life had totally different plan. During my healing journy so many things about my life unravelled.
I started digging deeper why my life is the way it is today. Started questioning about my existance, purpose of my living and so on.
What I learnt about me:
1. I am too emotional. Some times the emotional level is more than a normal human being. Every small thing I do in life I think about it too much. Be it opening my eyes in the morning , cold wind blowing and touching my body or taking a breath. Every physical act bothers me. I emotionally get attached.
2. I am stuck in my childhood, may be whatever happened in past 20-25 years of my life has long lasting impact. I cannot forget anything. All the experiances run in my head every day. Persons I met, conversations I had, reactions I saw on their face, physical appearance, place, time everything. Though I want to forget/ignore they run in my head again and again in endless looop.
3. I always feel people expect some or the other thing from me. The weight of the expectation on my sholder is killling me. Since 5 years every one in my life told me what to do and not to ,How to behave, look,talk. And they have made me feel guilty every time I deviatred from their norms. My parents, teachers, friends,husband, in-laws. Every one expect me to be according to them.
My expection in retuns always acceptance and compassion which I never got to see. So I feel I always dprived of that love and affection which made me misarable over the time.
4. I do not. know the purpose of my life. I feel people used me as long as they can. Now all the juice is out they do not need me. So the question is whay or for what I should live.