I have never done this…I really dont know how to go about this. I have never been able to share my feelings with anyone- friends or family and I never felt the need to until a few nights ago when i finally admitted to myself that i am an insomniac. I have been struggling to fall asleep for over 2years now…but lately its been getting worse. I have some good nights when i fall asleep within 4am, but there have been times when i went to bed after having my breakfast at 10. No one knew. I tried telling my family about this…but they just dont understand how it feels when u so desperately need to fall asleep but you just cant. Every time they catch me wandering around the house at 5 in the morning they either shout at me, blame me, or look at me as if something is very wrong with me, depending on how conscious they are in that moment. I am tired of their judgement. I am tired of not feeling understood. I am tired of lying awake till dawn and wondering maybe I am doing something wrong, maybe it is my fault somehow. I am tired of feeling tired. It feels excruciating sometimes…not being able to sleep. I used to take cold showers im the middle of the night out of frustration. And later i would sit freezing on the bed and wonder what i had just done. I tried buying sleeping pills once. I made it inside the shop but i just couldnt do it. So I have started taking head ache pills instead, because it really hurts sometimes. I know i think too much for all the wrong reasons. I know i judge myself more than others do. And i know that I am so conscious about my weight that i avoid looking at the mirror for days. But i still have plenty to be grateful about and that is why i sometimes dont understand what is wrong with me. I want to get past this. I want to not be afraid of nights again. I want to get through the day without feeling like i am going to pass out any moment. I want to stop feeling so desperate every time i get into bed. I want this to stop. I just want to be happy.
Thank you for sharing buddy. I can never say that i can understand what you are going through, but i do understand you are in pain from not being cared or understood inside. Insomnia is definitely curable, you can do it your self with some lifestyle changes. My advice would be keep your self completely busy for the day. Hit the gym, work out. Do this without any rest or breaks and at the end of the day, you do tend to go to rest mode. I believe scheduling your actvities will definitely help you. I hope this helps. And please do ping back if you have any questions. We are all here to help you.😄
thank you for your response. I dont go to the gym, but i cycle everyday and run on the treadmill occasionally. I also have my studies, so yeah I have plenty to keep me busy during the during the day. But i will look for something more physically draining, thanks for the advice.
