I have been in a relationship from the past 4 years. Everything was going good but the problems arose when my partner refused to share his social media passwords. I requested him so many times but he never listen to me. This is becoming quite suspicious for me. We often quarrel because of this reasons. He is active on social media and never posts our pictures. I always ask him why he never shares his passwords and then he either changes the topic or says something rubbish that he ain’t doing anything wrong and I should stop doubting him and he just wants privacy. I dont get it if he is innocent why he can’t do it? I am so frustrated I don’t know what to do. He also doesn’t lets me use social media. What should I do?
Why would you want his passwords. You should respect each other’s privacy. And if you have any other issues, then talk it out. Just by you asking him for passwords communicates to him that you don’t trust him.
Akash Dalal @skybroker
I totally agree with you. Respecting each others privacy is important although you have an individual life too. :)
I understand but I don’t like how he doesn’t wants me to be on social media and on the other hand he is quite active. And I actually can’t trust him. He once messaged a girl and I found it later and as I dont have access to his accounts so I don’t know what kind of conversation they had. He was also adding random girls whenever we had a fight. And from that I started asking for his passwords but he is not able to share it. If I can stay away from social media for him then why can’t he atlaest share his passwords?
Why do you have to stay away from social media for him?
He says he is possesive and doesn’t likes random people commenting on my pics or adding me. So I decided not to use because I didn’t want him to get disappointed. But now he is always using his accounts. And also another thing which I haven’t mentioned previously I want to clear it out is that he never added me when I had accounts idk why I asked him several times but he didn’t respond and ignores it. We as a couple should have added each other but he didn’t let me do that which was very suspicious to me. I also shared my passwords back then but he never did.
Akash Dalal @skybroker
Why are you listening to him about not you using your social media that is your right. You partner is just being submissive about you using social media. You are still the ultimate decider what you will do in your life whom to talk and whom to not. You will decide not him. And please respect eath other privacy. If he didn’t added you tell him you are on social media and tell him to add you… and also tell him from now you will use social media because you have a person life too other then him being around… just go for it straight n bold. Tell him to accept it with honest because you are coming clean…
Possessive hah! You must love in such a way that person you love always feels free. He’s trying to cage u and have control over you so that he can have you when ever he wants but do whatever he wants and the reason you not standing up against it because you are afraid of loosing him.
Yes exactly I dont want to lose him that’s why I did what he said. But he never does what I ask him to do. I think I should leave because he is never going to understand no matter what
See I already said he didn’t add me when I had accounts on social media. I was never able to find out the reason that why he can’t add me. i even asked him that if I started using social media then will he add me this time but he said no and when I ask why he can’t do so he just ignored me.
You must learn to stand up for yourself or else he will walk all over you. You need to hold you ground firmly and tell him wats bothering you and if he doesn’t fix it then you’ll find someone better…
I understood. I shall do that and if nothing changes then I will have to move on.
All the best. Take care ✌️
Sanket @sanket
Why do want access? Can I assume that you are suspicious about him cheating on you? If yes, then figure out, fighting with him will not lead to answers, try a effective way.
Yes I am quite suspicious about him bcs why do he have to message someone when I am his gf. everytime we have a fight and he ends up adding some random girl. I never did that instead I try to solve our problems. I am even not using social media but he is always active. I still remember once we had a big fight and I decided not to contact him for sometime and at that interval he didn’t think of me instead he was busy uploading his pics and he even messaged a random girl. Then I asked for his passwords and as usual he refused to give it to me.
Sanket @sanket
Raise the stakes as they say, search for a solution to your problem.
If it was this easy then I wouldn’t have asked here for people’s opinions. Anyways Thanks.
Sanket @sanket
I know it’s not helpful, but you are the one who can address your concern very accurately. He does not contact you, he speaks to some random girl and you feel low, you have tried disconnecting but that was not helpful.
Have you tried to analyze both parties? How things are being wrong from your end? Why is he behaving ignorantly? Why is he stopping you from using social media? Why he is using it? Have you tried using apps without telling him? Is he insecure? Is he taking you for granted? Is he facing any troubles?
Disconnect, and do not contact him. Let him be the initiator now.
He shifted to another place and from that time onwards he started to take me for granted. As much as I know he doesn’t have any troubles except for his career. and no I haven’t tried any apps. When I had social media accounts he never added me and also he didn’t let me use bcs he said he was possesive and thts why I stopped using every social media platforms. But he does whatever he wants and tries to control me.
Yah sure I won’t contact him again.
Sanket @sanket
Physical presence matters a lot. Have you tried knowing why he shows o much of possession? You need to fight for some freedom and his time, assurance…
Just disconnect for some days, you will eventually get your answers
I have tried so many times but he is very narcissistic person and quite secretive. He never admits his faults. Yah I will disconnect and then let’s see what happens.
Sanket @sanket
Meanwhile, analyze your relationship deeply, think of ways how you can improvise, if you are a student then study more if you work then think about the growth, address some family issues, involve more in household chores…
Chandrapal @chandra2292
Look , I understand your possesiveness , but as you told that you are in relationship from last 4 years and still he hadn’t cheated on you than you must have to do full trust on him. I’m not saying that you’re wrong but 4 years of relationship is pretty good time of relationship and I think you should trust him and also you are not wrong that if he is innocent then why he isn’t shared his password with you . I also have password of my gf’s social media and she have mine but we don’t even open eachother’s account cause we have trust on eachother if there is any issue then I’ll open her to help but without any reason she didn’t even open mine and the most suspicious thing is why he is stopping you to use social media ?? So just sit and make coffee or anything else and just do a damn crazy conversation about each and every thing which you have doubts about him cause this is the only way you can get things crystal clear
I am getting you but see you have atleast shared your password just to show her that you have nothing to hide and she can open it anytime. That’s what I want from him. I will not use his accounts or check his accounts frequently but why can’t he even share his passwords for sometime or let’s say for one day. Whats so secret that he can’t even give his accounts for a day?
I know 4 years is a long time and we definitely had some great time together but since we know each other from a long time why is he so protective towards his social media accounts that he can even see his 4 years old relationship getting worse but still can’t give his passwords? I can’t stop doubting him.
