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Anonymous

I have been going through a lot of mental and physical harassment on an everyday basis by my best friend, who stays with me. My parents stay in a different state and we are based in another state. He is just my best friend, not my boyfriend. I don’t even have a boyfriend. But he blames me, accuses me for no reason, threatens me and hurts me physically.
Since last two months I am going through depression and he is angry about that. I cook and do all the household work all alone and pay the rent which is 30,000 INR monthly, from my parents’ money and even though he is working at an MNC, he doesn’t even share the rent. He always tells me everyone would be better off if I died. I asked him if he is so unhappy staying with me, why doesn’t he go home or take a place of his own. But he refuses to leave me alone. He also lies to my parents about me and whenever they try to reason with him, he takes his anger out on me. When I met him, a little over three years ago, he was suffering from severe depression after a breakup. And I befriended him because I genuinely wanted to help him. I didn’t know at the time that he has anger issues, OCD and borderline personality disorder. He knows he has these problems but refuses to go to a doctor or counsellor and instead takes out all his anger on me. Since last three days, I am severely depressed and he is going on blaming me, telling me that I should go and die. My parents are also tired of hearing our repeated arguments and sometimes he makes them believe that I am the one at fault.
Now I don’t have anyone with whom I can talk to, because, apart from my parents, he doesn’t allow me to talk to anyone. And my parents are not able to help me much because they believe him.
I have always been a survivor, but now I just can’t keep going any longer. I have no self respect left, no where to go, no one to understand me. I am so suicidal, I honestly wish I could die this very minute.

7 Comments
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rhythmicwinter

Hey! I hope you are doing good.

Listen you have to kick that so called best friend of yours out of your life and your house or you have to take help from police. That guy is physically and mentally abusing you.

You have to be strong nobody but only you can change your life even if the way you choose is hard.

Just call police , take help from yours neighbors , or contact with NGOs but you have to be strong & powerful people will say many things that why were you living with a boy or its only your fault .

But you have to show him his place . Even if your family members are not in your favour.

Be strong there will be a way out .

You got this every thing will happen in your favour. ❤️❤️

Anonymous

Hi,
I really wish I could report this harassment to the police or some authorities. But I don’t know anyone personally and the police won’t take a complaint just like that.
My parents know that he is physically and mentally abusing me, but they have never supported me about going to the police or take any kind of outside help to solve the problems.
I mean, how would you feel if you were constantly used for someone’s gain and then blamed and dumped when they feel you are no longer up to it, just because you are depressed?
One single call to the guy’s Dad would be enough to get things on track because for all these years he’s never told his family that he is staying with me. His parents, typical and orthodox that they are, would be more than horrified if they knew their son was staying with a girl for over three years without their knowledge. And I have also given his Dad’s number to my Dad. Still, he simply doesn’t want to take up the matter with his Dad because he cares more about my friend’s reputation than my own mental situation. I have always had to be the trash, the scumbag, use and throw.
And even though I want to start afresh, knowing that it would be really difficult, my Dad is convinced that this guy must stay with me because apparently, he “cares” about me and is “genuinely concerned” about me.
I am a prisoner in my own house - both here and back home. And going back home isn’t even a choice.

rhythmicwinter

I know its difficult for you to go to police but that’s the only way out. Please you have to take a step on this harassment . Trust me on this police will believe you.

Maybe you have some proof against him . So that you can prove him guilty .

If you are right than nobody can stop you from getting him behind the bars.

Right now technology is so fast you can record everything . You can take help of lawyer. There are many NGOs who are ready to help in such type of cases .

Taking first step is tough but if you want to achieve something you have to take it.

Be safe
You’re doing great

d

Few possible solution I see is that you shift to PG or with some other friends. Tell your parents that you like to be with another girl for now or want to spend less.
Basically away from that guy.
Or get a job in different city and move out from there.
stay away from him as far as possible.
Record if possible the physical harassment and send to police… You don’t need to someone to file a compliant.

From your message looks like you are not financially independent. But please do become one. That will solve all the problems. Search for job… any job which can make you stand on your feet. Then you can make your decisions.

Wish you the best…

Hi,
uhm,This is my first time ,so do forgive me if i may sound rude
But,
u need to get that piece of shit out of your house,He does not respect you why are hanging around him .If your parents are the understanding one then better go home sit with them and pour your heart out. Anony, u need to cheer up there are many out there who will acknowledge you.And hey if that does not help you then better ask someone u know in the city and tell them your problems and ask them on the solution.I mean u need not feel guilty as he is neither your family or a friend he is just trash that stuck itself on to u and now is the time to cheer up

Anonymous

It’s not that easy. My parents also don’t understand. He keeps telling them lies about me. They think I am causing all the problems. And I can’t go home either, because there they will blame me for everything.
I am stuck in between. I don’t know anyone else in this city who could understand me or help me out. I have been living with this person for the last three years, and I have done so much for him. So, I admit I also have some emotional attachment towards him. But then I too have told him several times to go back home or get a place of his own, but he is too adamant. And my parents believe him more than they will ever believe me. Just now, I was feeling so chocked and distressed that I called up my Mom but instead of listening to what I wanted to say, she started blaming me for not having patience with this person.
Now you see how complicated the situation is

There are two choices one: better go and file a complaint
if that feels too hectic then
choice no 2: if u are independent then leave evrything and start new
far from all of this.
You reach a stage in life where you are not dependent on anyone may it be family or friends or this piece of shit.
I wish you all the best
I hope u reach a stage where your family tries to talk to you
sending positive vibes
Koios:)