I have been feeling horrible because of beng left alone when I needed him the most. Since the last time we spoke, I have been dealing with lots of illness and symptoms all over my body. Guess its due to stress I have no idea. I am gonna go under an operation on monday and I am still talking to him in my dreams. I wanna share everything that has been going on but then I know he doesnt want me in his life anymore. Hope sharing can make me feel better.