I have anxiety problem. Also PCOD, so near my period dates I get so anxious. I have a boyfriend and things arenβt going well, on the verge of breakup maybe and on the top of that I have anxiety attacks every now and then. My boyfriend was my only friend my support system and with him not there fir me Iβm just an anxious overthinker. I just wanted to talk about this. Also one thing to ask from boys or fellow mates in a relationship, do boys really become heartless when they are angry? Can they go to any extent? How to make a person who is short-tempered understand what I feel when he lashes his anger out and itβs not good for my mental health?
Pehle apne apko emotionally stable karo apke bf ke baare mein baad mein bat karenge
Half of the time my anxiety attacks are because of the issues with him.
Then you urself has the answer your relationship is causing you depression and anxiety
Yes but I feel I cannot leave him. I mean his anger is an issue for me a big one but when things are okay I have had no better friend in my life than him. Iβm so confused
Tumhe usse darr lagta hai
Darr in sense? I mean I speak up for myself when things go south, darr yeh lag jata hai ki I donβt do something which makes him angry
Uske gusse ka darr ya use hurt karne ka darr ?
Gusse ka darrβ¦ kyuki I know Iβm a lot considerate and I donβt hurt people easily. I think about other people a lot how will they feel and everything.
Trust me β¦ ap sirf ye nhi maan na chahte ke wo apko mentally abuse kar rha hai
I donβt know, I just have so overwhelming feelings for him, maybe Iβm blinded by them maybe not, see I too do mistakes and when I do I apologise for them, accept them but in return I get all that anger and nonsense shit I donβt know whether all short tempered people lash out like that or itβs just with him
Itβs just him. He is emotionally, mentally and soully harassing you in the name of commitment
Apko physically hurt kiya hai�?
No never even face to face he has just once shouted else itβs just on call or text, we hardly fight face to face. Itβs all good when we meet, just when time apart on calls or text we argue many times
Aur kitni baar mile ap face to face�?
Boht baarβ¦ we were friends in school then got in long distance relationship in college and since lockdown Iβve met a lot of times at least thrice a month with him
Since covid*
You feel complete with him�
Yes and no, yes because many times he understands me at a level no one else ever will and no because when something isnβt according to what he wanted he lashes out on me so badly Iβll not even wish on my worst enemies, that is why I am confused.
Simple hai fer toβ¦rule of five apply karoβ¦next 5 baar jab bhi milo ya baat karo to dekhna ke ke 5 baar mein kitni dafaa apke saath bura behave huaβ¦
Okay
Abhi to things arenβt well to I guess bura hi behaviour milega mujhe uska
Yar tum sach mein uske saath bhi rehna chahti ho�
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Heyβ¦dnt overthink as it will trigger ur anxiety attackβ¦n moreover focus on ur innergrowthβ¦leave the boy topic for nwβ¦:)
Yes I try to distract myself from that topic but at the end of the day heβs the one and only friend I had shared everything and when I want to talk heβs not there
Thesilentbuddha @jot
You are overdependent on him even for your thoughtsβ¦
Dnt u think ur relation is on the verge of being toxic�?
Yes I feel this but I donβt know how to save it from being toxic
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Believeing in yourself first.
Taking stand for yourself.
Becoming more independent
Have more friends
I donβt trust people easily maybe that is why I am not able to make friends. I donβt know how to cope with this loneliness
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Donβt you worry at all.
M here for u always.
N dnt dare to cope wid loneliness walk baat fir seβ¦
U got a frnd here to be with you in ur thick n thin
Thank you
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Welcomeβ¦:)
If he lashes out, it seems unhealthy. Anger isnβt a bad emotion. Itβs how you express it matters. Unfortunately, specially in India there is this thought thta angry guys are attractive. They are not. If they are harming your mental health through physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse or harrasment, itβs time to re-evaluate why you are with that person in the forst place. If you both have anger issues, then maybe try to get your stuff sorted first and ask space for it.