I have always been the weird kid at school. I didn’t have a best friend but I was friends with everyone. In the 8th grade I liked a girl and I lied that we were dating. After that everyone started boycotting me. I did feel guilty for spreading that, but I felt more lonely. By the time 10th had started I started smoking up and drinking. I had made a friend who I also lied too, twice. I really don’t know why I keep on lying. I can’t focus on studies. So now I’m finishing my college. But during this time I realised that the one person that nice to me, even for a really random thing, I start falling for them. I don’t know what I seek and how to be at peace with myself. I also suffer from obesity, that has put my self esteem really low. The first girl I like told me if I lose weight she would go on a date with me. But then I lied and all of that happened. I always love company of friends. But I’ve chosen a career that keeps me far away from them. I feel lonely. I think I’m at the point of acceptance that I compulsively lie and I cannot be trusted. I think I need help.
Honestly,I really appreciate that you are self aware.But I’ll suggest that you should accept that everybody has flaws and everyone is working hard to be a better version of themselves and it’s your time to feel good about yourself. Also, you are not alone at all as you have yourself. I’ll suggest you to hit gym if you only want to and take yourself around for movies,treat yourself with good food and celebrate yourself even it is for the smallest accomplishments and basically stop victimizing yourself.
Kapil Agrawal @kapil15a
Hey brother self awareness is the key to betterment. And you are much stronger than you consider yourself things are meant to be happened and we should learn from them and move on .life is a journey not a destination and you have just experienced a little bit of it my brother there’s so many things waiting for you . Develop a new hobby of your interests so that you can get to know more people’s and share your feelings with them. And keep in mind one lie lead to another so avoid lieing and make your life easier
