I have a friend. We’ve been together for 9 years now. We were really good friends, but last summer she found new friends. I would sometimes go with them, but I didn’t really fit in there. For most of the winter, I was alone while they would hang out. She would sometimes text me and invite me to hang out when they would fight. She sometimes texts me to ask for answers on tests or homework. Lately, her friends stopped hanging out with her as much and while I feel like I should be grateful because we missed on a lot, I don’t. We don’t have the same friendship we had. And if I don’t want to hang out she would call me stuff, lazy, and act all mad. Like today, I was at the mall to buy some food and I just didn’t feel like going anywhere else because I just felt burned out and numb. When she asked if I wanted to go to her place and I said no, she said “You’re not lazy to walk around the city, though?” and just called me stuff. She also hits my head a lot and I get scared most of the time. I get scared of that to the point where when she lifts her arm I try to cover up where she normally hits me, and when she says “I just lifted my arm, lol why you’re scared?” I feel stupid and she just brushes it off even though I don’t. I don’t feel like I can tell her anything. I can’t tell her secrets because she will tell everyone IN FRONT OF ME and I don’t feel like she would understand how I feel because according to her, even if you’re sad, you still should hang out with others. The list goes on. The thing is I feel like the friendship we have isn’t healthy anymore, but I don’t want to cut her off because of the happy memories and how she accepted when I came out and how she even tried starting to watch anime for me. We do the funniest and dumbest shit together and I feel happy at that moment. However, I also feel insecure and hurt because of her. Should I try to talk with her even if she probably wouldn’t care?
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