Thought

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Anonymous

I have 2 best friends. I met them both online. I keep fighting with one of them (even about silly things) and I feel pretty exhausted because the fights are recurring. They’re not over the same issue either. I’m no saint, I’m at fault several times. But tbh I feel many of these fights happen over unnecessary things. They consume my time and ruin my peace. One such fight happened today.
We do make up sooner or later, within a day or two, but these fights can’t keep happening. It’s a cycle. I’m not an argumentative person. I like peace.
While many of these fights help us grow, many of them are pretty silly and I’m tired of them. My best friend almost always gives me an ultimatum to leave. It has reduced after several times of me pointing out how that behaviour is toxic but it still happens.
Of course, I’ve discussed this with my best friend before. My best friend feels that the fights help us grow more than the harm they cause to our friendship.
I don’t think so. I have some issues too which I am trying my best to resolve.

But today is one of those days when a fight happened for no good reason.
I just wanted to rant for a bit. It so happens that I discovered that I can watch almost all Marvel movies on Hotstar (I haven’t used the app before). I shared this discovery with my best friend. They were a bit surprised with my (assumed) interest in Marvel and told me that I could have watched even without Hotstar if I was interested.

My interest in Marvel isn’t much. It’s just really mainstream, so, if I could get my hands on it and find the time someday, I’ll watch. So I let them know of the same + also the fact that it’s hard to find movie sites that have all Marvel movies and watching after downloading on torrent is a drag for me (ik it is doable, but switching on the TV and watching is way simpler for sure?). They proceed to call it a shitty excuse because I have a good internet connection and they’ve watched all those movies that way (the way which I call to be a drag). Even called me entitled and arrogant. And asked me to either resolve it and save the friendship or leave. I don’t feel like this was worth fighting over or me being called such things or being given an ultimatum. I don’t feel like I want to resolve this either. I feel pretty hurt. In fact, I have been rethinking this best friendship for a while now because of these fights.
I know that none of you readers know the full extent of this friendship, but any suggestions are welcome.
Thank you for reading.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @windy_chimes
Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes
Profile picture for Now&Me member @narixx
Profile picture for Now&Me member @11_organic
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14 replies
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Anonymous

Thank you! ♥️

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Anonymous

No need sweetie , don’t forget to share whatever choice you take , we will be there to support u ,♥️☺️

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Anonymous

This is definitely not a topic to fight over, plus them assuming like marvel and calling u names(from what i understood) is not right they could have just shared ur amusement (or what u were feeling) with you. I think u would do it right by just ending this friendship if that helps you.

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Anonymous

And think it carefully what u really want.

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Anonymous

Thank you! I will think about it

Profile picture for Now&Me member @windy_chimes

Melody @windy_chimes

Um…I read the whole thing you’ve written. And to me it doesn’t make sense. I mean them calling you such names and asking to end the friendship over this. It can happen sometimes, but if it’s happening a lot then it’s definitely toxic.
One thing you can do is give yourself and your friends some space. Like discuss with them what you think, and ask them to give you some time. Or rather tell them that this has been happening a lot, obviously this isn’t healthy, we should take a break ( don’t contact each other for a few days) and think about it.
It will give you more answers to your feelings and thoughts. You can analyse the situation and so can they.
I know we give our friends a lot of importance but we should know when it’s time to stop, think about yourself too.

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Anonymous

Indeed. I needed to hear this, thank you.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes

Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes

I feel the friendship would have been good before but now it has turned toxic . The fights have increased and this is absolutely unnecessary to fight over such things. You should definitely re consider sharing friendship with them and I would suggest that leave it. If they want you to leave them maybe that’s why they keep fighting with you so your peace gets ruined. Understand their true purpose and leave them .I know it would get ugly and lonely but friendship has to be the most easiest thing and definitely not pursued this way. So I suppose since they have a problem with you then probably it’s you who is growing because the one who expands everybody is bothered by them. So leave them and you will find better friends who are more.like the present you .

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Anonymous

Yeah, it was better before. I don’t really know what went wrong.
Thank you! Your words give me the courage I need 😇

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes

Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes

Yeah
Don’t worry we got this buddy

Profile picture for Now&Me member @narixx

din @narixx

omg we can be friends if u want

Profile picture for Now&Me member @11_organic

Sagar @11_organic

Well, as all i can get from what you’ve stated. it’s clear that’s not an simple argument what we usually see among friends. Specially when you go through this every day.
In my opinion you should have a clear discussion with your mate about how does it make you feel. When you argue over little things.
And try to find a way to get over it.
If your mate’s behaviour remains same even after that
Then you should…
I don’t wanna sound like a philosopher but take your friendship as a deal
And if the price you about to pay is your RESPECT, DIGNITY and your MENTAL PEACE then it doesn’t seems like a good trade.
Friends are the one’s who make us feel comfortable and relieved around them.
Not like the one who take our mental peace.
DECIDE WISELY.
My wishes.

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