I hate the thoughts that I get late at night when I’m alone, I hate thinking of my past. I hate thinking about taking forever to let people in. I either take forever, or push them away. And then when I’m ready and now I feel like they’ve shown enough for me to trust. After I have pushed them to there limits multiple times. Time after time. After they have broken down and shown they actually did want to be with me. A little light in my head turns on and then I go. Okay now give yourself…they want you. But guess what… look at what you did to that person. They loved you so much and they really wanted to be with you. And you pushed them away… you made them feel like shit, you made them think there love was not enough. That they weren’t enough. You broke them down. For what? Because you’ve been so hurt before you can’t trust, that someone else out there will actually love you? They were more than enough, they showed so much. They loved you… like really loved you. And they lost trust in you. You lost out on that opportunity to experience a genuine beautiful thing with someone. Something that you’ve always wanted and still do. And that’s loving without doubt of anything, free hard-core raw love. With all the trust in the world. Yelling to each other you love each other. Beautiful love. It can happen again… but guess what, it’ll take forever to experience that with the person you broke. Yes. They will still love you. But it’s not that first love… Some people capture that love and hold it dear and tight and protect it with all their might for a lifetime and I think that’s beautiful. To be able to trust from the beginning. That’s something I wish to do.
It will not take forever but some time. It’s the thing about love that makes it different from all the things in this universe.
Try walking away from the past with a smile and leaving away the grudges that will help you move on.
I personally forgive people which helps me with moving on.
Try if it works for you!!!
I don’t know what to say other than I know how you feel. But I believe that one day we will be able to trust
Much much courage and strength to you. Always tell yourself that what’s gone is gone, don’t think about pulling something again however much good or bad it could be. also give yourself some time, to be able to relax and break through past experiences, only then you would give the best of your love to others. Watch SRK and Alia Bhatt’s “Dear Zindagi”, I was dealing with a similar situation as yours and this movie actually taught me a lot of things
