I hate everything. I want to end myself. I can't keep holding on. My parents are still not getting me a therapy appointment. 

Hi, don't think like that.
We all are here.
We'll help you get through it.
Just share whatever you are feeling.

PTSD

Anyone up for chat 

3am Thoughts

Two years ago I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't distinguish between the right or wrong and I told my back then supposedly two friends about a family drama that involved domestic violence. Sadly, instead of being emotionally supportive or understanding they were kinda happy about the information, using it against me or being sarcastic about it everytime I have a conversation with them, I cut them all off but I think they still gossip about it. I feel so embarrassed and guilty about my oversharing. How can I move on and fix this? I still feel liked I've ruined my image and I'm angry with myself for choosing them to hangout and open up to.

Overthinking

Day 93 of writing journal entries.

I’ve finally got some plans for the upcoming days! Lots to do this week that I won’t talk about yet, but I am excited. Today though, was a great day! I played lots of chess and I made dinner as well, it was a really yummy linguine pasta. I’m gonna sound like a child when I say this, but I did it all by myself, and It was delicious! >:3 hehehe

I’m left feeling very happy and upbeat, it was a good day.

Personal Growth

My husband of 4 years started chatting with a new colleague a girl from his office. She is my age. My husband is a shy person so he told me he gets very lonely in the office. Most people in his group are extroverts. He has trouble communicating as well sometimes. But recently only i found out he started chatting with this girl it's been over a month they started chatting for hours. The thing is I never felt he didn't give me time or anything in the meantime. I am a little possessive of him too so i don't know if that is the reason he didn't tell me about her. From what I understood she is very much liked by everyone in the office. She has a boyfriend as well whom her family doesn't approve of. Initially they were talking a lot. And sometimes there are rumors in their office if people starts talking to each other so they don't talk in the office but chat. He gives her Lift too sometimes. He also went outside her pg to wish her happy birthday. Recently this girl is telling him she wants to keep a distance and is asking is he okay with this and he is saying he is not. Chat also she is very rude to him sometimes. I told him to keep a distance as he is her superior. Be civil. So he did what I said she is suddenly blowing up why are you so formal and all. And he said because you told and my wife asked me to. So she is like even though I told I didnt stop texting n all. And she is asking did she come between me n him. I honestly don't understand their chemistry right now. I don't know why I am a little hurt.

Family

Hello everyone,

Sharing my feelings here after a long time.. 1.5 years back I posted some of my thoughts with you where I was struggling with my love life (you can read my previous thoughts on my profile so you will be more clear with my current thought) but today I'm at very different stage of life.

I'm living with my boyfriend from last 1 year, yes we are in a live-in relationship though we are still facing some issues with families but I think they will accept us eventually coz they have got to know that we are not going to live without each other...WE ARE SO IN LOVE!!!

Everything is good and going well between us, he trusts me and understand me now, he loves me more, we spend a lot of time together- watching movies, having fun, party, outing n all.... We are very much stable now mentally, physically, financially, we overcame from all those things happened in past.

So here's the main part of my thought today....

Everything was perfectly fine but then few days ago I got to know something which I never knew what exactly happened...so I heard call recordings in his phone of that time when we were struggling with our love life... I wasn't having phone with me that time coz my parents took it from me and we were not in touch for almost 2 months (he was somehow aware about it)....so in those recordings he was insulting me he told those things to his friends and cousins which were just between us like I use to tell him everything about my life about my family my parents my job my past etc. every small detail of my daily life but he disclosed everything to them......coz he thought I cheated on him and I purposely left.

Rather than waiting for me or understanding me he did all this and at that point of time I was lonely and depressed.... I didn't knew he's gonna tell everything to everyone. I wasn't even aware about those things that were happening behind my back. Even when I came back we met he didn't tell me everything I just knew some parts of it and I forgotten it coz all I wanted was to be with him.
 
When I was a kid my mom had an affair and I never shared that feeling with anyone coz I was afraid....but when I was in love I told him about it I shared with him that how I use to feel that time, how hard it was for me to share. But he disclosed it and told to his friend stating "maa hi aisi hai toh vo b aisi hi hogi na" he judged me on that😑

I really don't know what to feel after that coz the person I love, the person whom I trust alot, the person who's everything to me....did this???? How???? Why????? Can't we talk about our feelings with the person we love without any  judgements. I spoke to him about it and he said I wasn't in a stable state it just came out of my mouth in anger.

From that day I'm not feeling comfortable sharing anything with him and that's why I chose to share my story here, coz it really helped me earlier and I hope it will help me throughout my life.

Please guys share ur thoughts on this and help me what should I do??

Boyfriend

Ik pal bhi socha nahi tha 
Ki aisa bhi din aayega
Jaha Mai aapko nihaarti
Aur andar hi andar muskuraati 
Tumhaare be-shumaar pyaar
Ka iss afsoon ne
Mere saare andhkaar waale asraar 
Ko roshni se ujaala kar diya 
Ye kaisi inaayat 
Jo mujhe mili hai rabb se 
Jo Meri saari mashiyyat 
Ko iss ulfat ka Roop diya 
Pyaar kiya hai maine aapse 
Agar duniya ise gunha Maane 
Toh iss gunha ke liye
Hum hamesha raazi hai
🖤

Poetry

How to convince your bf when he is really angry and stressed up and you are in long distance relationship and he is asking for breakup plss helpp 

Can i prepare for CAT in 6 months? And get nice percentage? Can someone please help me out how should I start studying... I'm starting my classes this week.. Am I late? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts