I had the perfect relationship a while ago. We were even thinking about getting married. But things went downhill and I was considering breaking up with him but I never did because I love him so much. Because of the pandemic, we had to leave the country and come back to India and so we started doing LDR. We spoke about how things got bad and decided to fix things. Our relationship has gotten a lot less toxic but I still find it very very difficult to trust him. I was so hurt by him before moving back that I avoid even looking at him when we facetime because it hurts so much. I do not know how to fix things. He says he still wants to propose in the future and I know that I will say yes. But thinking that things will be this way for very long scares me. What should I do?
so do you love him or are you afraid of being alone? Why do you not trust him? Have you tried pulling away and see how he responds???
I had been thinking about this a lot over the summer but turns out I love him, it is not being alone that scares me. Even in a room with 20 friends who love me and who I love, I miss him constantly. Everything always leads back just to him. He’s literally on my mind 24/7. I don’t trust him because I’m afraid he doesn’t always mean what he says. I feel like he chooses everyone over me time and again and I am just taken for granted. I dont even know if he’s with me because he genuinely loves me or because I was the only option available. I even asked him about this and he told me he’s with me because he actually loves me but I just don’t believe it. I just feel like I can only believe what I see, I cannot believe words. And since I haven’t met him in so long, I dont know if this change in attitude is just because of the distance. Even now I occasionally feel like he would choose anyone over me but I dont know if I am overthinking it. I did try pulling away and he said he got a weird vibe from us but I dont know what he wants to do about it. I feel like even if I tell him why I’m pulling away, he’ll understand for a short period but in not more than a week he’ll go back to his old ways. Does it look like I am focusing on the negatives a lot more than the positives? I am just very scared of what the future holds and do not want to be disappointed.
