I guess i’m a weirdo. I do like men and believe am a straight one. But I’m so awkward and scared with guys. I behave like someone i’m not with them. But with girls i know how cheerful i’m. I feel more comfortable with girls and all my friends are girls. I do feel irritating when they date, when they ask me to date. I thought i’m a lesb but i don’t see my friends in that way. I can’t watch lesbian porn, i know it is not for me. But with gey ones am ok even though am a girl. But sometimes i want my friends to stop dating and i feel so sad when they leave for that. There are times i want to kiss and give tight hugs to them and stop them from dating. Why it is so complicated for me.
Maybe you are a bisexuals!!
I think your confused. I think your confusing your friends love for intimate love idk what your background is but I wonder if you had any trauma or if you ever felt misunderstood? Sometimes when people are nice to us and we get that attention we get confused.
I don’t know whether it can be called trauma. But in my childhood my experience with men aren’t nice. Even body shaming. I lost confidence bcz of that.