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Anonymous
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I got into a long-distance relationship.
But should we be in a relationship with someone who behaves very caring, affectionate, and loving when they’re physically around but acts completely estrange and distant as soon as we are away in our respective cities? Blunt texts, no callbacks. Rarely do we have video calls. I’ve raised this concern to him thrice, but it seems not to affect him.
I feel for him, but this long-distance version of him makes me feel that we’ve fallen out.

Also, is it too much to ask to call once a day for like 10 mins?

4 Comments

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Anonymous

long distance is very much vulnerable. I and my GF lives in a same city but do not meet like for 2 months. I am kind of guy you are talking about.
I like physical meet-ups rather being on chats (I am not at all good at this).
She has her worklife and I have mine but it seems easy for her to do chat and work but for me its very difficult to change my focus.
She has said to me many times that why you can’t text or talk. (I am bad in phone calls too)
For me its just that I can be at one place at a time … it takes time for us men to understand the responsibility, understand that we have to be there for work as well as for our GF. I am sure that it isn’t the case with his friends (and for your comfort I would say don’t ever take that personally because talking with friends is for shorter duration.
what you can do is give him comfort ( I am sure you already do) ask him about his work or day, ask more and more and don’t expect he will be do how you want him to do in a day or 2 … it takes time. so be patient with him. You both will be good soon.

Do not ever – ever compare your boyfriend with any of your other friend.
People are different - you have chosen one of a kind - don’t expect from him what others are doing. Accept him with what he do.

Anonymous

It is your complete right to ask for your time. Confront him, tell him directly how you feel.

v

Hi my friend,
I am not into any relationship but I have seen many. Just give him last and clear chance if you feel that you are the only one who’s putting efforts. Ask him if he is in any serious problem that he can’t tell you. If everything goes against you then just leave. Don’t be available for everyone everytime. Your time and life is precious. Don’t waste it on any random person. You have to understand that.

Hope it might help you.

sanjain

I guess it depends from person to person, we used to sleep on video call daily when we were far away since I wanted to make sure, end of the day it’s just me and her.

But i don’t think he gonna change in your case, everyone has different personalities and that’s why it is usually said to check your priorities and value system, and future goals too before entering into a long-term commitment.

However, you try things won’t change much, giving you boys perspective.