Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I found this a better way to pour out whatever I’m going through because I barely found one person who could understand me. I don’t know what to call it but it’s probably the worst feeling in the world. Every minute in my life seems so exhausting. I hate waking up in the morning. I have stopped putting a morning alarm before I go to sleep because with time this has turned out be a nightmare for me. The sound of an alarm is so disturbing and it gives me a feeling of emptiness. A feeling I can’t really describe. I remember falling asleep wanting the next morning to never come because I didn’t want to face another day. Every day seemed like a struggle. I even find it hard to have my breakfast in the morning. And you know what is even worse, I don’t really have a reason behind all this. If I had a reason, I could probably work towards fixing things up but here I just feel stuck in a vicious circle. There are days when I feel okay and there are days when I feel extremely low. I find pleasure in sleeping or playing games all day long because that’s my only escape. I don’t want to face life anymore and its extremely energy draining to pretend everything is okay. Every time I went out to share it out to people, I felt they were more into replying back rather than understanding me. I majorly get two kinds of reply, either they don’t pay much heed or they just start talking about their problems and try to prove that how bigger their problem is from mine. One must realise that me finding out other people dealing with bigger problems won’t really solve my problem, no matter how big or small it is. With time I also felt it’s unfair to expect other people to help me deal with my stuff because I don’t remember helping someone out at times of their need. I wish I found at least one person who would acknowledge me of what I’m going through. I just hope no one has to go through such a thing ever in their life.