I find it so difficult to find things FUNNY lately. Like my friends be laughing about random stuffs,having a great time…and ill be forcing myself to giggle like an idiot…I hate forced smiles and laughter…my jaw hurts lol.
I feel like people around me are so fun,youthful,laughing wholeheartedly and i cant even find things funny to laugh about with anybody. I feel detached and disconnected with my friends. This has been happening since 5-6 years now with all the different sets of friemds ive had. I havent laughed my heart out like i used to with my friends (anybody in general). Not just them. Its the same with anybody i come across now. Its just forced laughter. I miss laughing wholeheartedly. And i think im getting boring day by day.
Even if u tell me that its ok nothings wrong with u and stuff…u will realise how boring i am when u meet me in person. I dont connect with anybody other than my family. The only people i take seriously are toxic people like my ex who doesnt give a shit about me.
The only thing that is constant is getting hurt by othera words,being embarrassed and being offended. Ive become a 24yr old grandma now.
I feel you…but let me tell you
You aren’t boring,it just some things have a deep impact over you …and and you just need to heal completely and by that i didn’t mean only to get over your ex, but to know yourself,love yourself, accept yourself, knowing your wounds…and making your pain into power, fear to courage…and it doesn’t happen overnight ,it takes time…and it will happen to you don’t lose hope and be patient with yourself …
Oh that was deep…thanks. I have definitely thot about all that u said long ago but wasnt sure. Now i guess i definitely need to start my healing process. Self love was helping me but i guess i need to work on this too. Thank u buddy❤
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