Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I feel so lost. Everything in my life is going wrong. I am in a job where im unable to learn anything, i know i should quit but i dont know what for. I am not good at anything. I dont know how to figure it out. Everyday feels like a burden. Its like i know i have to work hard to learn but i dont feel like putting in the effort. My whole day just goes in a war between 2 voices in my head. One asking me to do something and the other resisting it by making me scroll my phone. Add to add to the misery im in a relationship where my partner is very different from me. I always end up feeling like i expect too much out of him where as he is happy and content and doesnt expect anything from me. I feel like checking for his messages all day long but he is okay even when i dont text him for hours. He says he trusts me that something genuine has come up thats why he did not expect me to talk to him , but i always suspect him because many a times i have seen him play games or watch tv rather than talking to me. Its not like he doesnt love me but he just doesnt give me the attention that i give him.I know i sound very immature and childish and attention seeking right now. But even though i know that i shouldnt be like this im unable to control this behaviour. I feel like im wasted , doomed. I am neither successful in my career nor in my relationship. Every morning i feel like a looser.Cannot stop scrolling, checking for messages, cannot meditate or go for a walk. I am unable to change myself.