Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I feel like the shittiest person in the world. My wife’s grandma was admitted to the hospital a week ago, she was ok, had a bladder infection. They decided to keep her for further tests & to clear out the infection. Three days into her hospital stay, the doctor gave my wife the news no one wants to hear…they had found a cancer… gastric cancer, stage 3. She has a big family, they were all taking turns staying the night, visiting etc. I thought I was her comfort away from the chaos. I went with her to visit on Wednesday. We were there all day. They gave us hope since the cancer hadn’t spread & everybody was in a better place. My wife was distant with me. I thought she just had too much on her mind & I understood. Today she said she didn’t know how to feel because I wasn’t there for her. To offer night stays so she could come home & rest. Or just to visit or offer any type of help. We are currently on a one car basis. She’s been taking it to the hospital. She’s always made it clear that her family always comes first. So in my mind I believed she needed them closer than she needed me. But I was still here at home to comfort her. I didn’t want to over step in anyone’s way. I love her family, I love her grandma. The news hurt me pretty bad because I lost my grandparents years ago and she is like a grandma to me. I just didn’t know how else to help. I should have asked. I went blank & didn’t mean to. I didn’t meant to hurt her or make it seem like I didn’t care because I do. Her grandma came home today, I was calling & texting for updates. I was so happy to see a video of her finally home. But now I feel like the worst wife, if you can even call me by that title. I don’t do well with bad news, I just kind of… get los in thoughts… from past experiences, losses, and trauma. And now I don’t know how to fix it. She doesn’t even want to come home to me. How sad is that? I think I blew it. Help.