I feel like shit. Basically I feel like I might be non binary so I did lots of research and found that its probably true, but i cant come out ever. I feel like my internalized transphobia from my peers and family around me is making me feel invalid enough to come as part of the 2slgbtqa+. I have a friend who is trans, and he come out to me 1 year ago. He heavily trusted me and we even picked out a new name for him. I think about him a lot but I cant get his deadname out of my head and I scared that If i see him, Imma call him his dead name and he will no longer trust me. I donโt know what to do, my parents are always using his deadname around me so maybe thatโs it?, but it feels no matter how hard I try to get rid on my internalized transphobia it comes back to haunt me. I also noticed I only have a problem with him as Iโve meet so many other people part of the Trans community and havenโt thoughts these transphobic thoughts. I got to a very religious school so its very rare are someone to come as part of the 2slgbtqa+ community. Someone from my school actually come out today but since school already ended I donโt know how the school is going to react. I do have friends from my other school, who arenโt homophobic and would heavily accept me but I feel like I donโt belong to them anymore as I left them for a new school. (Sorry my grammar is shit, hope you can understand if someone reads this) I donโt know what to do, I just need advise? help??? Any tips??
wellโฆ um all i have to say is that even though i know this probably doesnโt help i truly dont know how to help except for saying to be honest and truthful. You should do what you feel confident in as well as being true to yourself. I know this probably doesnโt help but i am praying for you to find your answer and understanding๐๐๐
Thanks for responding , just knowing someone saw my thoughts makes me happy.
no problem truly i know my advice probably didnt help but sometimes just being and feeling acknowledged can help you find all the answers you need.
It shouldnโt matter you know, what others feel about your identity. I wonโt say the society will be supportive but it shouldnโt matter, if you actually want this, decide this, you have to be ready for everything. If you parents cannot accept you for who you are, you need to move on to your own life, maybe with time they will understand or maybe they wonโt, but you shouldnโt be trappedโฆ just like you were with your friend, there will always be good people who will make this world a better place for you. And i guess your friend will understand if you make a mistake like that, if not you can try to make him understand, but also you wonโt make the mistake if youโre careful. Good luck. You are really strong. Never forget it.