I feel like I am stuck in a toxic relationship from which I have not been able to get out. Is it only me who thinks this way or is it for real? I earn money and provide him with money whenever he’s in need. I never ask it back. Even if I do, he just shrugs it away with “Can’t you do that much for me?” And it’s not some petty cash he borrows from me. He asks for huge amounts but never returns it back. He asked me to buy a scooter from my own money in his company’s name. What am I to say? This is not the first case where I feel like I am being taken advantage of.
The fortune teller told us that I have a very good husband written on my fate and I should respect him. I am supposed to have a very fortunate married life. But I think, all my husband does is take advantage of me. Whenever he needs something from me, he becomes soft towards me. But whenever he gets into trouble or something unfortunate happens to him, he blames everything on me. He used to tell me that I am not a good wife as per the ancient scritpures. A good woman/ wife needs to take care of her husband, her husband’s family, do all household chores and not complain. However, a husband/ man does not have to take responsibility of anything. He does not even fold his own clothes. I have to do that for him or else he will shout at me. He just likes giving advices and lectures to everyone. He does not accept his fault in anyway. Even though we both work, after I come home, I have to do all the household chores. But he does not have to do anything as he is a man and he is tired.
I am tired of living like this but still cannot gather enough courage to leave him. My mom, his mom wants me to have a baby. For a while, I also wanted to have a baby but I don’t know if I really wanted it on my own or just thought I wanted it because everyone was telling me to have one. I am not sure whether I will be happy having a child with him.
I am afraid to ask him for any kind of help because later on he will just act as if he has done a great favour for me and I have to be grateful for that. But is he grateful in return?
You should talk to husband once. Say all that is there in your heart.
I know it won’t be easy knowing what kind of person he is, but this is the best way to know of things can workout between you guys.
All the best.
I tried, didn’t workout.
Love, if you are having marital problems, do not have a baby. No marriage has ever worked out because of having a child together. If you were to have a child and your marriage is not strong, it will damage your baby’s life, having to be in the middle of two parents who don’t love each other and have lots of conflicts. Your husband does not sound like the man that the fortune teller you went to see described. If you are unhappy and you have spoken to your husband about your unhappiness but nothing has changed, you need to get out of that marriage. Don’t subject yourself to an unhappy marriage just because you want other people to be happy. I’m also sorry that you are being treated unequally because you are a woman- that is not okay, you deserve to kick back and relax and rest after work, too. Let your husband know this! If he doesn’t agree with you, then that is a BIG red flag! Husband and wife are equals, both should carry the same amount of responsibility. Try to get him to cook! If you keep nagging at him, he should eventually grow tired of it and make you happy by attempting to cook or clean.
