I feel like ending myself.i don’t know how long im I going to deal with the process of dealing with the fact that my boyfriend has gotten engaged and marrying some one else. I don’t think I have the strength. I have dealt with a trauma before and it me 5years to get over… Iv experienced loss on personal front and now life is throwing this bullshit of this guy getting engaged n married to someone else. Im a human n not robot that I can handle everything. Im trying to put my self together keep me calm try the healing process but I feel exhausted and tiring b I don’t feel like working on me anymore. Im tired.tired of trying. Exhausted of being strong and dealing with so much… a boyfriend who died to suicide in the past… Now I feel the same. .I want to end this pain … I don’t think I have the strength to be strong any more. I need fresh air to breathe.im confined to my home due to pandemic and currently the weather conditions in the city. Im loosing my focus on me. I have no hopes that things will get fine. Happiness seems a distant star that we can only see from afar but seems impossible or a lie If it exists. I won’t be able to dwell in this any longer. I don’t know how long is this going to be or rather take to get done with. My family does not understand me. I need a chance to redo things in life but I feel things have slipped out of hand. Most precious thing thing is being taken away not once but now twice.
What does life expect out of me??..
Im a human I too have a capacity to tolerate things I’m not super human n I guess life or whoever the highest power is in this creation needs to know that.
I want to figure out what is this that I’m going through? Is there any medication for not feeling this?
Is there something wrong with me??
What is it??
Can anyone understand??
And help me??
Im tired being my own shield and protector for years.
Can I b suggested smthng to not feel this n end this??
Suggest !!
Peace out…!!
Alright, listen… Alot is going on with you and there’s nothing wrong with you… U only mentioned that you’re a human and not robot at times we are really exhausted and feel numb and we want to control things but we can’t… You would need to start talking with people… Like you’re here sharing with everyone… Talk with me if you want, I’ll listen and we’ll talk and you’ll see a difference just like that… And you need to develop a new hobby, it can be anything… Just explore… You feel tired and do not wanna go with it but one step at a time and you’ll see it…
If you wanna talk or discuss or talk in general then let me know I’m happy to help :)
Yes talk and be heard without being judged
You got it! No judging just talking :)
If you get to marry this man, you are talking about, how would that be any good. You are obsessing over a person that you created in your mind and superimposed over this person. If he was capable of love why would he abandon you? if he has no love, what do you expect out of the relationship? loss hurts bad. It will pass. The creator of this universe loves you more than anyone can. but the world is dark and painful. you will find peace. I’ll pray dear. trying to end this pain with drastic and violent methods might just start new ones for you and others. wait it out even though it feels endless.
I may sound obsessed but I don’t know how to normalize my anxiety and how to deal this situation
because you feel that, there is absolutely nothing left in the world for you. you feel that if this happens to you, then there is no return to normal. no light in sight. You want no one to offer you anything to replace what is lost. you are so deeply hurt and in pain that all attempts at trying to console you, are an abomination to you. you can feel deep within you that what is about to be lost is irreplaceable and what is already lost is unregainable. but you want to be heard. you need your feelings to be known. so you came here. the world is a vile and dark place. but there is also love. for now, just know that you are loved by Jesus. He will open up an honourable way out of this mess. He is more hurt than you. I love you too dear. don’t hide from the situation. but also don’t let the situation destroy you. you have a responsibility to your loved ones to stay alive and well. till you see the light on the other end, you may not believe the darkness will ever end. rest, hold on, wait, don’t giveup.
