I don’t really share my feelings with anyone but I feel like I really need to. lately I have been feeling like I really should die. like I don’t have a purpose here and the way that I’m feeling is just really hard to deal with. somedays tho I do come to my senses sort of and realize that I don’t want to truly die I just want help. that why I changed my mind at the very last second that day. I feel so meaningless and stuck and empty. sometimes I take scorching hot showers to feel something just because cutting isn’t really my style. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, I just am. I’ve been pretty lonely too. like super lonely actually. I gradually built up walls between me and my friends because I felt like I’m too much of a burden right now or its to hard to talk to anyone right now. idk why it is. I also don’t have the best relationship with my family either. ik this sounds bad but my family are not the best people. its not that easy to talk with them either so yeah.we’ll just say that. anyways my anxiety has gotten worse too. right now its too hard for me to be in public with people. I can’t even walk alone because i’ll panic. fun huh? to feel at ease I walk super close to the person I came with but they usually get annoyed with me. I did ask for a therapist at one point but that still hasn’t happened yet so this is kinda why I’m here. for some time now I thought I could like help myself get out of how I’m feeling but its actually harder that I thought.this is all I’m comfortable talking about on here for now. I just want help
It sounds like you feel very alone. There are a lot of people who also deal with this. There is nothing to be ashamed of, it affects a lot of us. You’re in a safe space and we’re here for you. You are an amazing human being and sometimes we just need to be reminded of that from time to time.
Since you had mentioned that you did ask for a therapist, please check on the below link if it’s of any additional help:
i get how you feel. If you want to talk to anyone about this, you can talk to me. I’m not sure how helpful i can be, I’m only 17, but I’ve tried to kill myself enough to get how you’re feeling. But you’re not alone. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean you aren’t special or important or don’t have a meaning. It’s bloody hard to pick yourself up and find you way out of hell. But you can. I know it :)
