I don’t like my dad at all he’s not a good human being.

That’s ok, just because he made you doesn’t make him a saint. Some blood relations are awful and toxic and you’ll get through it. He won’t be around forever. He’ll be dead eventually.

Relationships

I wish my dad talked to me more. 

Family

I wish I was enough for my dad

My Dad is angry

Depression

MY DAD !
It has never been a healthy relation with my father . He has never taken us seriously (us mom brother and me) . He used to run away after every small fight and not give a daamm about is until the next few weeks . Years passed away and we got to know about his extramarital affair . As we got know about this my mom me and my brother were drowned in sadness
Soon he started physically abusing me and I realised it in my 10th …even my mother and brother knew it but didn’t utter a word out of some random reasons which doesn’t matter a lot
I don’t feel safe to stay in my home at the same time my mom doesn’t let me out …I have frnds but not able to reach them when I need them
I hate being daughter of some one who doesn’t give a fuck abt me or my family except for a bitch and her family …who can bare seeing their father doing everything for a random women and her family and not giving a damm thing about his own family I am really stuck… I don’t know what to do I’m psychology exhausted and frequently getting panic attacks . Can you tell me what to do… I’m just done with all this stuff......

Suicidal Ideation

Wanted to vent out here. 
Dad’s behaviour towards rest 3 family members is very rude. No matter how hard we try to get things done for him. No matter how we care and love him … his behaviour is very rough for us. Talking in comments/ taunting form, shout on us on very normal things…
At the same time he is very happy and normal when meeting any other person. 
It’s has been really long seeing this behaviour of his. We are so exhausted and trautmatised with this behaviour that even his loud word from his mouth brings tears….
We are still doing are best managing home, managing other things and helping him. Taking care of his health and other things… still this kind of rude behaviour breaks me and my daughter sometimes… if feels like running away from here. The person we care most for is not giving love or at least polite words that we deserve… I feel very sad today… I 


Emotional Abuse

sometimes you just want someone to help you, listen to you, love you. not always a girl. your family, you do everything even sometimes you make up things so that it will make your father proud and others will not look down upon him, just to make him happy and you realize that just seeing your father happy makes you happy. but you also want someone to listen to you in your dark times and in spite of that he is way more welcoming than many others but still you were not raised that way so still if you want him to listen, you won't be able to speak.

Life

hi, i truly believe my dad is mentally insane or bipolar and needs to go and see a mental hospital. today it was sports day at school meaning we needed to take our own packed lunch and my dad agreed to buying a sandwich for me at a shop near the school i go to. (my dad drives me to school as i don’t know how to go there by myself yet - i live quite far from my school)

so he stopped and parked the car near the store and turned around to see me in the back seat. AND HE KEPT REPEATING ONE SENTENCE OVER AND OVER. MORE THAN 20 TIMes he was saying, “tell the teacher that you don’t want to be in this house anymore, and they will take you.” like he repeated it so many times. he was saying it in like a barking voice after a few times it made me laugh a bit so he started getting even madder idk how to explain

and he was trying to imply that if i hate him and my mom and my sister so much, then i should tell a teacher about them and they would take me to CPS or something or whatever people call it

so then he finally got out of the car and got me a sandwich, then dropped me off at school.

when i got home, my mom and sister were at home (not my dad because he was at work) and like my mom was angry for no reason i dont know why, and she started blaming her nerve pain and fibromalgia and 7 slipped discs in her body on me. 

time skip to when my dad got home i remembered what happened in the car and how my dad was repeating the sentence so i decided to bring it up since i thought my dad would be normal about it idk why i thought that

i was like "oh you know baba was like 'tell the teacher that you hate family and they will take you' " 

AND THEN SUDDENLY MY DAD FLIPPED OUT OR WHATEVER U CALL IT AND STARTED DRAGGING ME and he also started punching my arm which i got my covid vaccine in two days ago and it hurt really badly. so i was like "pls stop punching my right arm oh my god"

and he started saying "IM GOING TO KICK YOU OUT IM GOING TO KICK YOU OUT" thats why i think he has autism no hate to people with autism but i have heard they repeat things a lot.

and then he opened the door to the back garden i swear all our neighbours could hear it. then my mom ran to shut the door because well how embarrassing a grown 50 year old man screaming for some reason. (it also sounded like the barking i explained before.)

what happened after my mom closed the door was my head was being dragged by my dad, which hit my moms teeth or mouth or something? AND SHE SUNK TO THE GROUND ACTING LIKE THE PERSON WHO WAS REALLY HURT AND SHE STARTED PLAYING VICTIM

im too lazy to explain the rest but that happened and after that i ran upstairs and since ive got a broken nose and im insecure about it they threaten to punch my nose so it can be more wonky. that annoys me a lot.

so i think my parents are severely bipolar or something i dont know especially my dad because wtf? can someone help me self diagnose my dad with something 
im not a licensed therapist 



Today when I was at my shop with my father that moment one  small child came start asking for water that boy was without slipper first I told no to him (because of coronavirus ) water when I saw is eys I change my mind , then I try to give water to him but my father told me no  with anger but I try and that child was crying for water , I told that child to wait for few minutes my father was going home but that child left , after few minutes later when my father left . I removed 10 rupees and try to find that child I saw him I told him to come with me I will by him water but hi don't responsed to me and went , I have everything but told I lost my  I know that is my fault I should have fighting with my father. I started hurting myself .I can't stop thinking about him what I have done 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts