I don’t know where to start. I was in a. Relationship 4 years back. I deeply loved him but he slept with other woman. I was devastated. I was broken. I got admitted into hospital bcz of heart attack. But somehow after some month I picked myself up and Moved on. I didn’t love anyone after that. Then, this boy came into my life I will name him Trk. Trk made me feel the love again, he made me believe in love again. I couldn’t help myself but to fall for him. I love him like hell. I swear I can even die for him. I adore him so so much. But the question here is why? Why do I love him so this much? Because he did made me feel that he’s the best guy I could ever have. He motivated me, he loved me, he cheered me. When I am with him everything seems to be so happy, it’s like someone has glued a smile to my face. Everything was going so well. I never ever thought of any other guy than him. I never ever talked to any other guy but him.
Then, few months later, he started getting frustrated. He told me that it was his academic pressure, his family problems… but the problem was whatever happened he always finds one solution that is to cut off his contacts with me. He too was in a relationship before me. Some days back we fought and he told me the next day that he hasn’t moved on yet. He doesn’t love her but he has not moved on. He told me that he tried to love me but he couldn’t. Really? All this time he was trying to love me? He showed his mumma my photos, everyone in his family knows about us but he said that he tried to love me? Honestly, this is not the first time he has broken up with me. There are plenty of times that I can’t even remember. He is so short tempered. When he’s angry he doesn’t see anybody in front of him. He always tells me one thing “Let me be Alone”. We fight, we break up, and after sometime he again texts me and I go back to him without even showing any kind of anger or something. I do it because I don’t want him to suffer from any kind of depression trauma, I just want to be with him whenever he needs me… So that he doesn’t think that he’s alone. I am afraid if anyone will be able to handle his anger. I don’t know why do I love him after all the pain that he has given me, after all the sleepless nights. One thing I know about him is that he has never talked to other girls instead of me. He has never cheated on me, over tracked me…never. i texted him yesterday because I had a fight with my mum and I was very sad. But he said that he was not in a mood to chat there was some family problems of his. I told him tht whenever he needs me I’ll be there. If he wants he can talk to me. He said he don’t want to. I text him again today asking if he’s feeling better… he asked me why don’t I understand. Why don’t I just leave him to be in peace… I said sorry and blocked him.
Well! I know that I have life, I have other things to do, I need to focus on my studies,career &all. I literally know everything. I myself is good at psychology. I am the one in my college who helps people to Fight depression, anxiety. But I don’t know how do I stop myself from texting him again. I don’t know what to do… I don’t know how do I face the reality that probably he never loved me… I was his attraction that’s it. I feel so low, also my mother doesn’t talk to me… I don’t know how do I console myself. I can’t tell all this to anybody that’s why I am sharing here. Can you please give me some practical advice? Please. I don’t know how to move
forward. I just feel so lost.
It’s a shame you’re going through such a tough time right now. Few things in life are more painful than the loss of a loved one. Your situation, in fact, reminds me of this ancient wisdom: “Heartache crushes the spirit.” -Proverbs 15:13
Were you aware that heart break often causes the same pain as the loss of a loved one? https://bit.ly/3cbHAFL
