I don’t know where to start.
I was sexually assaulted many times I think I just got used to it and now I have no self-respect, I was 12 when the first one happened and 13 when the last one happened I’m still 13 actually, they were all between the ages of 15 and 18, after the assaults I stayed friends with these people and acted as if nothing had ever happened I don’t know why though it was killing me and to this day I’m still friends with some of them.
People say I’m too young to be sad before hearing my story and after hearing it they feel sick.
I was never really happy to be fully honest as a kid I was bullied for being overweight which then led to me having an eating disorder which I’m still trying to fight to this day although most people who knew about it thought I had recovered but little did they know it just got worst when I first started not eating my hair started to fall out, now I faint nearly on the daily but I just say its low iron hiding, my mum called me pale and said I looked sick but she didn’t know I was sick.
I also have bipolar, depression, anger issues, anxiety, and dissociation which sucks, to be honest.
Most people in the school know about my trauma but I don’t care, the thing that really got me mad was when this bitch decided to post a video saying I faked it all for attention like why tf would I do that where in anybody’s right mind would do that FOR ATTENTION so I lashed out and started a whole argument worst part was that she was my friend…
I have tried to km multiple times and failed which is why I’m writing this but one time I ended up in the hospital after trying to OD where I stayed for 2weeks to recover, it was hell on earth I came out feeling the worst I’ve ever felt.
to forget about my problems I go to parties to get blacked out wasted, smoke weed and cigs, drink alone at night drowning in my own tears and doing exctasy.
I’ve been pushing people away lately, people who are trying to help me and staying with the people who destroy me its as if I was in a self destruct mode
It’s been so long that I haven’t been happy that I forgot whats it’s like and I’m lowkey scared of it
thank you for reading my story i needed to share it with someone
First of all i have to say you are a very strong human! N on top of that you are a fighter! Now sexual assualt is something you need to report do it to an adult they need to knw tht “No means NO” n so that the same thing doesn’t happen with other girls also. Dont let them ruin lives. And about being g happy you i believe happiness is a state of mind basically so 1st step love yourself the way you are no matter what people say you are beautiful very beautiful 2nd step you want to get back at them smile just be happy keep smiling that would be best revenge and i haven’t seen you but i bet you pu have the most perfect smile ever! 3rd step take care of your body dont hurt it by getting wasted or drugs and stuff u are too young and a long life awaits you. You dont have to be like anyone else just be you and if the process u lose friends those ppl were never meant to be ur friends so be happy of getting toxins and toxic peoe out of your life. You dont need people to feel happy. Alright now smile you are beautiful!
